In the process of slowing down, it is infinitely simpler and easier to notice the beauty around me. The grey rainy skies blend into the rooftops and bare-branched honey locust trees in my backyard, afterlight echoing a hollowing, a sense of endings and beginnings shifting in and out of each other.
I found these words in music as I journaled on one of these winter mornings, finding myself instinctively guided to listening, shaping, shirting, and creating how I am feeling in this present moment.
I hope you pause a moment, look around, and see what speaks to you, too. Creating found poetry is simple, calming, and creative.
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
Three months into my new job, I’ve made some discoveries about teacher and students and education – and myself. Now that I’m no longer in the classroom every day, I’ve had some space to think about the larger education community, and the impact the pandemic, remote learning, and now hybrid teaching have had on us.
I’m noticing a HUGE sense of exhaustion, regret, looking to the past and focusing on what “normally” happens that didn’t happen in the last fifteen months.
Educators are having trouble making themselves feel successful about education. It’s understandable – what we’ve been asked to do is unprecedented, undervalued and over the top of what any teaching contract outlines.
Educators – teachers, administrators, counselors, support staff – have all given everything they have to make this year come close to “normal”.
And, with the grind of “pivoting” their instruction, digitizing lessons and books and lab materials, engaging students hiding behind black Zoom boxes since March 2020, and now facing the ‘learning loss’ that will be documented for us thanks to standardized testing, educators are struggling.
So what do we do to support each other? To create a space of safety, community and acceptance for educators?
If you don’t know Katrina’s work, you’re in for a delightful experience. Katrina, a published author of several books, a mother and wife, and a believer in “celebrating the gift of each ordinary day” has brought clarity and thought-provoking writing to me. And in the March 16 post, I responded in the comments with this:
This year, I made space for my self. Amidst all the cramped physical and mental space of the shelter-in-place, I found the space to be still. To turn off the Zoom classes and stop grading papers, to make space to meditate, to watch the squirrels try their best to upend my birdfeeders, and to see my adult children strive to adapt to the changes in college, wedding plans, and living spaces. Through it all, my self has been given wings to try out – and the space to fly.
I didn’t respond not only because I wanted to read the book Katrina was offering. Rather, I wanted to be part of the magic I saw in her simple acknowledgement of what she HAD made, what brought her ordinary joy and beauty despite the tragedy exploding all around us.
And surprisingly, I won the book anyways.
Katrina writes of author Beth Kephart, who published a memoir titled “Wife/Daughter/Self: A Memoir In Essays”:
How do we become the people we are? How are we shaped by those we love, by those who hurt us, by those who see us more clearly than we see ourselves? How do we choose one path over another, releasing our grip on old dreams even as we’re compelled to envision new ones?
How do time, pain, love, and loss finally pare away all that isn’t needed, leaving behind the essence of a self, a truth, a way onward? Is it possible to write one’s way into understanding and acceptance, into healing, into faith that who we are and what we do is enough?
Being in community with Katrina and Beth makes me feel like making something is possible, even now when like so many educators, I’m feeling drained and depleted and need to mentally and physically coerce myself to my writing desk every morning. It’s not easy, putting aside the tumult of the world and allow for words to flow out, to go back through journals and posts and manuscript drafts to make sense of decades of thoughts about teaching and parenting. But that’s what I’m doing, inch by inch.
I’m trying to make something positive out of this year. Are you?
A few things I’ve made along the way:
I made videos for my students to say hello when we started remote learning in March 2020:
2. I made bread..lots and lots of bread:
3. I made vases of garden flowers to bring the outside in:
4. I made time for exploring:
5. I made yard decorations for graduating high school seniors:
6. I made extraordinary discoveries on my walks:
7. I made masks:
8. I made new teaching spaces:
9. I made a new way to do the first day of school:
10. I made surprising discoveries in new books:
11. I made opportunities for kids to collaborate and have fun online:
listen to the joy!
12. I made a trip to the beach to see my mom:
13. I made time for sunsets in favorite places:
14. I made Christmas memories:
15. I made a job change:
16. I made myself happy:
17. I made myself present:
18. I made a road trip to see my daughter…finally:
19. I made coffee…lots and lots of coffee:
20. I made promises to myself:
It turns out, the last year wasn’t a loss at all. I made more than I thought…and I’m feeling courageous about the future.
What about you? What have you made in the last year?
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
“Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
It’s tough to think about the damage done during the last presidency. I remember in 2017 being devastated at the election results and then deciding to choose optimism.
That didn’t last long. Watching people I love, and people I don’t know, live in fear, anxiety, and pessimism is heart-wrenching and exhausting. What Trump impacted on our country hit us hard in education; we teach developing humans who watch and listen and sometimes question. We teach everyone who walks through our door, and for the last year, we did it during a pandemic that didn’t have to happen.
Mostly, the kids I taught struggled with understanding why there was so much hate, injustice, and blatant cruelty in America. To kids, it’s much more obvious in some ways – they learn right from wrong, they learn to be kind and share, and when they don’t see that reflected in their world it’s hard to comprehend. And extremely hard to explain to them – especially from one side of a computer screen, not able to look them in the eyes, give them a hug or high five, and reassure them that they and their family will be ok. That people really ARE good at heart.
And now again with a new president, a female woman of color for our vice-president, and a cabinet that looks more like MY America, I am once again optimistic. I feel a bit lighter. A bit more hopeful that we can be better than we ever have been. That we can begin to break down the systemic racism in our country. That we can all be anti-racist.
I’m not naive – I know what we are seeing in the news really IS our America. It’s not the America I want to live in, but it is where we are now. We have work to do – hard work – and educators can – and should – be huge players. Education IS political. We need to teach our children about racism, show them how it has shaped our country, and expose them to how it impacts our world today. We need to confront it, not conform to it. We need to challenge our young thinkers to make sense of what they see and experience and create opportunities for kids to make change happen – one small step at a time.
Are you an anti-racist teacher?
Not sure where to start, or how to keep going? I’ve been thinking that sharing some simple strategies and lessons that have worked in my classroom might just help “implement the demands of justice”. Here you go!
Start with books
Read alouds: My 7th graders LOVE to be read to, both during face to face learning, and even more during the distance learning we’ve been in. I use a combination of picture books and chapter books. I start my back to school read alouds with picture books – I focus on diversity of voice and the themes of empathy and inclusion. Here’s a link to get you started: Back to school read aloud picture book list.
I’ve typically followed the Global Read Aloud suggestions for chapter books in the last few years – last year we loved The Bridge Home by Padma Venkatraman, and this year’s choice, Prairie Lotus by Linda Sue Park was a perfect fit alongside the backdrop of the pandemic and racial justice issues in the U.S. Check out my Wakelet collection to help you build your classroom stack.
Another strategy is to try First Chapter Friday selections – I choose books from all genres with a focus on writers telling stories of marginalized groups in society. I’ve found that using clips of the author reading their work, when available, adds impact – when my students see people that look like them reading their stories, they are inspired to read – and WRITE!
And of course, offering choice – getting kids to learn to love reading means allowing them to have access to a diverse classroom library and agency over what and how they read – any genre, any format. Audio books and graphic novels ARE READING!
Kids need to be able to feel safe and trust that they can express themselves in order to do anti-racist teaching and learning. It starts by listening to your students – what are they passionate about? What’s at the top of their mind?
Ask for reflection and feedback – always. It’s one way kids know you care about them. And be SURE to act on their responses so they feel heard. I love to use this SEL check in form with my students – it’s their ‘do now’ at the start of class and gives me a quick glimpse at how they are, and who needs a deeper check-in.
Teach Empathy and Justice
My first unit of the year is always about empathy. This All Are Welcome HyperDoc allows students to gently understand the concept of empathy and explore how they see it in the world around them. The application of their learning in a collaborative picture book cements the validity of their perspectives while at the same time elevates picture book status in their eyes!
Lisa Highfill offered some Anti-Racist HyperDocs – take a look at Nadia Razi’s lessons as well as two live shows recorded by the HyperDoc girls on the topic of justice and anti-racist teaching:
Homecoming– teaching essential questions through Beyonce’s Homecoming
Teachers need to be active learners. The world is changing – we cannot rely on outdated textbooks and teaching strategies. Just because we’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s right for right now.
Do your research. Read CURRENT information on anti-racist teaching pedagogy. Read books – biographies, memoirs, non-fiction, poetry, and fiction written by BIPOC. The following are a few resources I find helpful:
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
I’m not going to write an end of the year post about how awful 2020 was. I’m not going to tell you, either about how I had to dig deep (I did) to come out the other side of the year intact. In fact, I’m not going to talk about 2020 at all right now – except for all the AMAZING books I read!
I learned to love my Kindle and free ebooks from the local public library. I also learned I really, really like people who like books (you know who you are!).
And according to my website statistics, lots of people who read jenniferwolfe.net liked books in 2020, and also like lists of books and book recommendations!
In 2020 I surpassed my Goodreads goal of 70, and wound up reading 76 – unless I finish The Silent Patient tonight, then it’ll be 77 (I’m also reading and loving A Promised Land, but there’s no way I can finish it tonight – it’s awesome, but I NEVER stay up till midnight)! This year I read lots of historical fiction and memoir, as well as some powerful non-fiction, young adult fiction, anti-racist books and works by inspirational new writers.
One more thing about 2020- I really committed to abandoning books that didn’t catch my attention in the first 1/3. I’ve had that creepy realization that there actually ARE a finite number of books I can read in my lifetime, and I’m not going to waste one more minute on a book I don’t love – or at least, like very strongly.
So, the books below are ones I actually liked/loved enough to finish! And the 17 BOLD titles with ** are my 5-star MUST READS! I hope you make it to the bottom of the post – there were some FABULOUS titles pre-COVID!
Also – if you DO make it to the end of this post, I’ve listed some of my FAVORITE picture books that I use as read alouds to my 7th graders! And if this list of books in 2020 isn’t enough, be sure to check my 2019 and 2018 lists, too!
so 2020, right?
DECEMBER 2020:
Normal People by Sally Rooney
The Night Tiger b Yangsze Choo
American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins**
The Family Upstairs by Lisa Jewell
This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger **
NOVEMBER 2020:
Shadow of Night (All Souls Trilogy, #2) by Deborah Harkness
Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson
Searching for Sylvie Lee by Jean Kwok
A Discovery of Witches (All Souls Trilogy #1) by Deborah Harkness
OCTOBER 2020:
The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate
Prairie Lotus by Linda Sue Park
Something Worth Doing by Jane Kirkpatrick
The Hard Way Home (The Star and the Shamrock Book 3) by Jean Grainger
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt**
SEPTEMBER 2020:
I ordered this book from a used book seller – imagine my surprise when it arrived, gently illustrated by a kindred spirit!
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett**
The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead
Blue Horses by Mary Oliver**
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
The Emerald Horizon (The Star and the Shamrock#2)
Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah
The Star and the Shamrock by Jean Grainger
AUGUST 2020:
This title is EXCELLENT for teachers during virtual teaching and learning times!
Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum
Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love by Dani Shapiro
The Gown by Jennifer Robson
Conjure Women by Afia Atakora
The Distance Learning Playbook by Douglas Fisher**
Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates**
White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo**
The Fountains of Silence by Ruta Sepetys
JULY 2020:
Blended Learning in Action by Catlin Tucker**
Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds**
Save Me The Plums: My Gourmet Memoir by Ruth Reichl
The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne**
What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey**
Heads of the Colored People by Nafissa Thomson-Spires
On Agate Hill by Lee Smith
Across the Winding River by Aimie K. Runyan
The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant
JUNE 2020:
Golden Poppies by Laila Ibrahim
Mustard Seed by Laila Ibrahim
Yellow Crocus by Laila Ibrahim
Opium and Absinthe by Lydia Kang
MAY 2020:
What the Wind Knows by Amy Harmon
Where the Lost Wander by Amy Harmon
The Paris Hours by Alex George
A Fire Sparkling by Julianne MacLean
The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein
The Other Wife by Claire McGowan
The Ragged Edge of Night by Olivia Hawker
APRIL 2020:
Inside Out by Demi Moore
One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow by Olivia Hawker
Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction by Elizabeth Vargas
The Parisians by Marius Gabriel
When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal
Miss Mary’s Daughter by Diney Costeloe
MARCH 2020:
Verity by Colleen Hoover
Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown**
A Pledge of Silence by Flora J. Solomon
The Dressmaker’s Gift by Fion Valpy
The Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey
This Terrible Beauty by Katrin Schumann
The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott
The Widow’s War by Sally Gunning
The Third Angel by Alice Hoffman
MARCH, pre-COVID
Sea of Memories by Fiona Valpy
I had just purchased these for my classroom library the week we shut down in March 🙁
FEBRUARY 2020 pre-COVID
The Outer Banks House by Diann Ducharme
The Bridge Home by Padma Venkatraman**
A View Across the Rooftops by Suzanne Kelman**
JANUARY 2020 pre-COVID
This book…so strangely beautiful. Thank you, Lisa Highfill!
With the Fire On High by Elizabeth Acevedo**
How To Catch A Mole: And Find Yourself In Nature by Marc Hamer**
The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks
PICTURE BOOKS: MY FAVORITES
I read aloud to my 7th graders every single day during 2020 – I didn’t count these in my yearly total, but they are worth mentioning:
La Princesa and the Pea by Susan Middleton Elyr
Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson
The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson
Fry Bread by Kevin Noble Maillard
All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold
Come With Me by Holly McGhee
Hey, Little Ant by Phillip Hoose
Swashby and the Sea by Beth Ferry
We Are All Wonders by R.J. Palacio
Wolf in the Snow by Matthew Cordell
You Hold Me Up by Monique Gray Smith
Woke Baby by Mahogany L. Browne
Antiracist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi
When Aidan Became A Brother by Kyle Lukoff
Tomorrow Most Likely by Dave Eggers
Small World by Ishta Mercurio
Bilal Cooks Daal by Aisha Saeed
Max Attacks by Kathi Appelt
I’m Worried by Michael Ian Black
Mommy’s Khimar by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow
Introducing Teddy by Jess Walton
Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry
Gargantua by Kevin Sylvester
Mali Under the Night Sky by Youme Landowne
The Whispering Cloth by Pegi Deitz Shea
My Beautiful Birds by Suzanne Del Rizzo
Alma and How She Got Her Name by Juana Martinez-Neal
Add these titles to your bookshelves!
You made it! Now, please tell me what were YOUR favorite books in 2020? Any of these?
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
When I first became a teacher 30 years ago, I knew my true self wouldn’t be 100% acceptable in mainstream public education. Suddenly I became ‘Miss Mason’, someone who instantly became an adult around children not all that much younger than myself. Definitely not what we would call anti-racist teaching today; that part of my self was shadowed as I set about doing what was expected.
I knew that my days of extremes were over. The jet black hair was artfully shaved and teased. Dark eye-liner, perfectly powdered skin, and personal statements adorning my body were no longer acceptable in my chosen profession.
The days of twenty-something expression of individuality – let alone political beliefs – were shelved. That’s a huge reason why I chose NOT to teach in my hometown; the idea of 24/7 censorship terrified me. I thought anti-racist teaching was impossible.
Slowly, though, I got used to doing what I should do.
Doing what I thought I should do as an English teacher, one mask replaced another. Teaching days became years. It was easy to fall into teaching reading strategies, traditional white male texts, journaling, book reports, reading logs…I was doing a great job teaching the content of English.
Just not so great at being myself.
And I did a good job. Kudos came my way: awards, great relationships with students. Marriage. Motherhood. Maturity. All the parts of life that are supposed to add depth and shape us into who we were meant to be.
Slivers of my real self slipped out occasionally, followed by sleepless nights. You know, the kind of teacher nightmares we have when we think we might have accidentally said something controversial? That anxiety of waiting to be called in, to listen to a parent complaint that teachers shouldn’t be saying those kinds of things in the classroom…
And then…2017
One day in early 2017 one of my young UCD AVID tutors, “L”, pulled me aside and whispered, “I’m really sorry Mrs. Wolfe, but I can’t work here anymore. I have to lay low. I’m DACA, and I can’t do anything that might impact my enrollment here. I’ve got to go back home.”
I remember my shock, my confusion, and my anger as I looked into her eyes. “L” was a few years older than my own daughter, but she was Mexican, first-generation, and mine was white, from college-educated parents.
My daughter wasn’t feeling the need to go into hiding to save her education.
My daughter wasn’t moving back home, giving up her job, her friends, her life because of her ethnicity.
But “L” was. And I realized that staying silent in the classroom wasn’t going to change anything. Avoiding anti-racist teaching wasn’t going to create equity, or help someone else’s daughter or son. Teaching is a political act. Education is a political issue. And no longer was it a question of should I speak my truth – but I must.
“Just do right’
“Just do right”, Maya Angelou told us. But what does ‘doing right’ look like in education when it comes to anti-racist teaching? The last four years have shown America that whites must use their privilege to effect change. We must examine and change what we are teaching our children at home and in the classroom. Teachers must question if they have a job versus a platform for change, or if they teach for the money versus the opportunity to mold minds?
I must ask myself if I’m afraid of anti-racist teaching. My students aren’t. They say, Why should we be afraid to talk about race? It just is.
So if we must talk and teach about it, why is it so hard to know where to start? And if kids aren’t afraid, why are adults?
Instead of confronting racial and cultural divides, American education only serves to further them. Racial division is an inescapable fact of primary and post-secondary education itself, thanks to huge gaps in education quality that are closely tied to race and socioeconomic status. Some of the nation’s most underperforming schools are in primarily minority areas, reflecting the diminished opportunities for the nation’s children of color. Moreover, students of all races and backgrounds are subject to wildly differing history curricula, with Southern students often instructed that the Civil War was a “War of Northern Aggression.” Those distinctions matter.
Discussion of race in the U.S. varies across the board depending on regional and district policies, the inclinations of an individual school, and a teacher’s personal approach. In a nation where some students learn about the civil rights movement and church burnings in detail, while others complete units in history class where slaves are treated as commodities just like cotton and sugar, race relations are going to be a serious problem.
So what are WE going to do about it?
Is it a question, finally, of should versus must? Is it even a choice?
Choosing must is a scary direction. It’s the place that pushes us outside of ourselves, that opens us up to criticism and ostracism. It leads us to vulnerability, to hurt, to isolation. But not to silence.
Author Elle Luna says, “Must is different. Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s that which calls to us most deeply. It’s our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges, and desires — unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable. Unlike Should, Must doesn’t accept compromises.
Must is when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own — and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals. To choose Must is to say yes to hard work and constant effort, to say yes to a journey without a road map or guarantees, and in so doing, to say yes to what Joseph Campbell called “the experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives.”
Teaching my truth
The greatest thing I can do with my life as an anti-racist teacher is to teach my truth. I can’t hide behind worrying about what might happen when I step out of the shadow of expectation. Kids deserve to talk about racism, to hear their white teacher be honest about what is…and what could be. They deserve to hear the truth.
I must call it out and must be intentional about talking about books by BIPOC. Teachers must prod students’ thinking to make connections between what they read and write and what is…and what has been. We must teach about empathy, and justice, and equity.
I must be me, even when it’s scary – even when it’s easier to be someone else.
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
