In honor of our beloved muse, Mary Oliver. Thank you for living fearlessly, sharing openly, and loving fiercely. Your words have meant volumes to so many of us searching for living an authentic life and striving for an authentic voice.
I know for me, Mary Oliver spoke the words about life and natureand love and fearlessness that I needed to hear, and they came to me at precisely the right times. Her poetry gave me those life instructions that I so often wondered about, in such a simple, yet eloquent and precise, manner
I hope these two Mary Oliver poems do the same for you.
May we carry on with her words forever in our pockets and our hearts, and continue to share them as the spirit moves us.
Mary Oliver was nature’s voice…Capitol Reef, Utah
Mary Oliver’s initial instructions to me:
Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.
Mary Oliver’s final instructions to me:
Look, the trees are turning their own bodies into pillars
of light, are giving off the rich fragrance of cinnamon and fulfillment,
the long tapers of cattails are bursting and floating away over the blue shoulders
of the ponds, and every pond, no matter what its name is, is
nameless now. Every year everything I have ever learned
in my lifetime leads back to this: the fires and the black river of loss whose other side
is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. To live in this world
you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it
against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
~ Mary Oliver
Thank you to all those who share, and have shared, Mary Oliver’s words across our Universe, particularly A First Sip and also “Sometimes” (via Chris Duffy)
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
I’m not into resolutions. At all. I’ve broken them far too easily in the past, and I’d guess that most people have failed at one already in 2019 – and we’re only 11 days in!
Resolutions are a setup. We make decisions at a time when we think we’re supposed to change as if what we are already isn’t enough. We think in a scarcity mode – ‘if only …. I had more money’, or ‘if only…I worked out more’, ‘if only…every day at 6:00 a.m. was journal time’.
And then, you miss a day. Or forget what you set out to do and make excuses for yourself. Inevitably, resolutions break when you’re too tired to get off the couch, apply for that new position….you know how it goes.
Five years of words
In 2014, my word was change. I explained my strategy for no resolutions to my son in this post – and he decided on a word for the year, too.
In 2015, I declared an intention to practice courage.It was my first year of living without one of my children at home, and I was kind of a mess.
2016 told me to trust the journey after Cameron skied into a tree and sustained a serious concussion.
I needed/wanted to do less, to focus, to simplify in 2017, so I chose the phrase ‘Be here, now’–
And in 2018, I decided I needed to embrace change as I transitioned from partly-full to empty nest.
My one word for 2019
Your mind is like a piece of land planted with many different kinds of seeds: seeds of joy, peace, mindfulness, understanding, and love; seeds of craving, anger, fear, hate, and forgetfulness.
These wholesome and unwholesome seeds are always there, sleeping in the soil of your mind.
The quality of your life depends on the seeds you water. If you plant tomato seeds in your gardens, tomatoes will grow.
Just so, if you water a seed of peace in your mind, peace will grow.
When the seeds of happiness in you are watered, you will become happy.
When the seed of anger in you is watered, you will become angry.
The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
The quality of my life, of my children’s lives, and the lives of the students in my classroom depends on my ability to grow.
I know what it feels like to not have children at home to care for.
I adjusted to the empty nest, mostly. I’ve now got to transform into my next self. As e.e. cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
Change is hard, scary, messy and often, exhilarating. I’m going to grow parts of me that haven’t been watered in a while – or ever.
I’m going to grow peace of mind. Happiness. Adventure. Novelty. Love.
It’s not a resolution. I’m not tracking it on my calendar or measuring my success. To me, my one word means when I’m at a tipping point, or when I feel like I don’t know which way to go, I’ll pause, breathe, and decide to GROW.
I can’t wait to see what happens! What’s your one word for 2019?
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
I feel pretty good about that – not just because I passed my Goodreads goal (I do so like a challenge), but mostly because I pushed myself to read a VARIETY of books this year.
I’ve failed at IRL book clubs, so my reading pals have been mostly virtual – on Goodreads, Instagram, and Facebook. I’d love to connect with you there if we aren’t already.
You can read my best books list here from 2017. If you’d like to read the best books I read in 2016 click here, and for more best books recommendations click over to 2013 and 2014 favorites posts. I’ve also written a Books I Love post and would love to connect with you on Goodreads to share more about reading.
I’m happy to share my favorite books from 2018 with you!
Becoming by Michelle Obama
When I can read a book that feels like the writer is speaking directly to me, even when our experiences seem vastly different, I know I’ve found a gem. And the surprising thing about this book is that as it turns out, our stories are more alike than they are different. 5 stars.
Georgia: A Novel of Georgia O’Keeffe by Dawn Tripp
I have friends who shared mixed feelings about this one, but overall, I enjoyed the life story of this American master…it was as much a revealing of a woman’s journey towards self as it was about her art. 4 stars.
The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
Oh, this book…Alaska 1920, set in the wilderness, in the snow. Just the right blend of history, romance, magical realism and the quest to know the balance between over and under parenting…poetic. 5 stars.
Dive Into Inquiry: Amplify Learning and Empower Student Voice by Trevor MacKenzie
Books written by awesome teachers to help transform our teaching from ‘good’ to ‘best’ – thinking about thinking fascinates me! 5 stars.
Tell The Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
Such a beautiful and heart-wrenching story. Those who lived through the 1980s AIDS epidemic will remember the fear and ostracism…and those friends we lost. 5 stars.
When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors
A powerful read – what you don’t hear about the real stories that led up to the Black Lives Matter movement. Honest, raw and beautifully told memoir. 4 stars.
Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly
Wow – I loved this one! The author wove three narratives of the true, parallel stories of a NY socialite activist, a Polish concentration camp prisoner who was one of the famous ‘Rabbits’ of WW2, and a German Nazi doctor. So important to remember the atrocities and keep them from being repeated. 5 stars.
Refugee by Alan Gratz
Wow. What a book. I read this aloud to my 7th-grade students as part of the Global Read Aloud project – but I think EVERYONE should read it. Powerful three-part narrative sharing the refugee stories of Nazi Germany, 1994 Cuba and 2015 Syria. 5 stars.
Passionate Readers: The Art of Reaching and Engaging Every Child by Pernille Ripp
If you’re at all interested in learning about engaging readers, check out Pernille’s book. It’s so real, so direct, and so inspiring. I had the pleasure of talking with her at the NCTE conference in Houston last November, and she truly embodies the image of a passionate reading teacher. 5 stars.
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh
Learning to connect my personal peace with the world I create outside myself was a huge takeaway from this book. Highly recommend for everyone wanting to make the world a better place – and super useful for teachers and parents. 5 stars.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz
This one was actually a re-read for me, but since I’m older and wiser it meant something different than the first time. I found myself cheering the areas of life where I’m using some of the agreements, and reminding myself that I can always do better. Super helpful for teaching, too. 5 stars.
I’m Just Happy to Be Here: A Memoir or Renegade Parenting by Janelle Hanchett
When you watch blogger friends write and write and write and then wham – they publish a real life paper version – it’s something super special. And then when it’s this real, this WOW, this amazing…Janelle’s memoir isn’t for the faint of heart. But man, can she tell her story. 5 stars.
My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent
This book was heart-wrenching, beautifully written, and one of the most difficult books I’ve read. Oh, how I could see Turtle…in the strength of children who endure so much more than they should ever have to. This book is epidemic difficult to read and not for a reader who can’t handle having Turtle’s painful story linger in their mind. 5 stars.
Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan
This book caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to like it this much, and I rarely take the time to read an entire book in one sitting. Glitter and Glue is the kind of book I’d like to write but am not sure I could. It’s as much about becoming a mom as it is finding out how much of your mom you have become. And that’s a good thing. 5 stars.
Other books I enjoyed in 2018:
A Year of Daily Joy by Jennifer Louden
You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero
A Clearing in the Wild by Jane Kirkpatrick
Caleb’s Crossing by Geraldine Brooks
Coco Chanel by Susan Goldman Rubin
The Woman in the Castle by Jessica Shattuck
An Invisible Thread by Laura Schroff
A Boy Called Bat by Elana Arnold
A Fugitive in Walden Woods by Norman Lock
The Orchardist by Amanda Coplin
Simon v. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Alberalli
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
Are you in gratitude training yet? Not sure? Consider how important is it to you to be in the moment. Do you think about every day like it’s a training day for living your best life?
It almost seems a paradox to not be present in your day; to me, being present means that there is hope. And with hope, I can take one more step. I can do the hard things that arise. I can breathe, take in the perspective of others, and make good choices.
Each day in life is training Training for myself Though failure is possible Living for each moment Equal to anything Ready for anything
I am alive I am this moment My future is here and now
For if I cannot endure today When and where will I?
~ Soen Ozeki
I’ve been journaling my entire life, filling boxes and boxes with spiral notebooks, clothbound mini-books – even notebooks scorched and burned from when my house burned down at age 16. They’re some of the only remnants left of what I was thinking during my school years.
I started gratitude training about eight years ago, trying to get out of a slump that was driving me further and further away from living the life I wanted.
It was hard. Some mornings I’d struggle to find three things I was grateful for – outside of my relationships with my children, life sometimes felt a bit like I was wandering around, alone.
My children remain a staple on my gratitude list.
But eventually, with diligence to reflect on what was gracious and kind in my days, I managed to write more. My gratitude training entries became longer than a few words scribbled because I had to – I wrote and wrote about WHY I was grateful.
Some days the entries made me push myself – coffee with cream, candles, a quiet home repeated over and over.
But I kept writing.
I learned how to twist the challenges into gratitude, the fears into faith, to remind myself that I am alive. I am here, now.
I made myself write, to subscribe to feeds for sites like gratefulness.org, so every day I’d be alerted to phone reminders with prompts to help me think, to keep my gratitude training strong.
Questions like, “What relationships am I thankful for right now?”
And words for the day, like “Stay true to your deepest intuition that an extraordinary and miraculous life is possible” – Craig Hamilton.
There’s nothing wrong with needing (and accepting) a little nudge from the Universe.
No one said gratitude training was easy – but I’ve found, pages and pages later, that it’s definitely worth it.
I found this mindful poem by Soen Ozeki on A First Sip – have you checked it out yet? It’s a fabulous blog full of inspirational reminders. Do yourself a favor and have her words sent daily to your email – make it step one in your own gratitude training!
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
Are you struggling with your teenager? You’re not alone – many parents of college-bound kids are looking for ways to get their teenager to talk to them!
Adolescence is one of the growth areas of a child that most parents dread. Individuals in this stage of life tend to be moody, uncooperative, and seclude themselves from others especially when they do not get what they want. This can be detrimental to their well-being considering that they will be left to figure out several crucial things on their own, which never ends well. As such, it is essential to keep your adolescent engaged in conversations if you want to be updated about their life’s activities. Here are some helpful pointers that you can use to get your teenager to talk to you.
Show Interest in Their Interests
Showing interest in what your teenager engages in is critical as it sends a subtle message indicating to them that you care. Like any other individual, being interested in their lives will lead your mini-adults to believe that you are genuinely troubled about their progress. For this reason, they will not find it difficult to open up when you strike up a conversation with them.
Give Your Teenager Space
In case you have had a misunderstanding at home, the last thing you want to do is pry on them or bombard them with information. Give them some time to regain their self-control before you can begin talking to them. This will allow them to reflect on the argument and calm down. Thus, you can have a civilised conversation with them without shouting or getting aggressive due to frustration.
Let Them Lead the Conversation
Whenever you want to talk about a specific topic, let them know about it beforehand and give them time to digest the details. Once you have the sit-down, introduce your subject matter and leave the table open for them to join. Do not act like a detective prying for details from a suspect. Instead, give them time to speak what is on their mind and respond accordingly. Be sure not to give your advice in the form of orders. Instead, lay it down as a suggestion, and point out the consequences of not taking it up as the primary option.
Choose an Appropriate Place for Talking
Depending on the type of foods that your teenager likes, you can select a restaurant that they love or you feel they would want to visit and take them for a meal. While the meal is being prepared, engage them in light banter as you wait. This can be extended to the time you get the meal. Once you are done eating, you can introduce your topic, knowing that they have relaxed.
They are more likely to open up as compared to when you have them in a setting that seems favourable to you. In case you do not have the money to take them out, make them one of their favourite dishes at home and use it as bait. You could also have a family night at home, perhaps playing some board games from Whooopsadaisy or watching a movie together. This is another easy way to get your teenager relaxed and ready to listen and talk.
Listen More
Do not be one who continually dishes out information to them. Such tendencies cause teenagers to shut down. A better way to approach such circumstances is to let them talk more. You can foster a positive environment by asking open-ended questions. This will lead them to elaborate more on how they feel concerning the matter rather than giving you one-word answers.
Also, focus on dealing with one thing at a time if you want to yield any results. Choose different sessions to address issues one by one. As a parent, do not demean your adolescent since this may damage their self-esteem or cause them to be more defiant.
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
