Tag: friends

Always in Season

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I always have a bit of a holiday let down. December is a big month for me: the start of ski season, my birthday, and of course, Christmas. Add in teaching junior high during this month full of expectation, and by the time Dec. 31 rolls around, I’m done.

In other words, I’m not a big New Year’s Eve fan.

I think the last time I actually went to a big New Year’s Eve party was in 1995 when I was pregnant with my first child.

I remember the millenium, taking down the Christmas decorations while the news blasted from my 9-inch black and white tv. I remember it well. Then, I had a three-year-old daughter AND a three-month old son. Fun times.

Needless to say, this New Year’s Eve I don’t anticipate much action, other than dinner with my now thirteen-year-old son, some quiet reflection time, maybe a cold beer, and, of course, some writing.

What I’ve also learned this year is that if I flip the holidays around, they don’t have to bring me down. In fact, I’ve learned that a few things about the holidays never go out of season, they instead are cultivated all year long:

Holiday Spirit

This year we simplified the holidays. We cut back to the most important and meaningful traditions, and enjoyed the spirit behind the season. My daughter noted that there wasn’t a day when we didn’t have holiday music playing in the background. We didn’t miss a chance to sing along with “Feliz Navidad” or Taylor Swift’s “Sounds of the Season”. I learned that holiday spirit alive doesn’t mean leaving up the Christmas tree until spring; rather, embracing the simple, the fun, and the merry all year long is the route to happiness.

Getting Back to Roots

As a parent, I feel obligated to put my children first. Always. The holiday season cements these feelings – isn’t Christmas ‘for the kids’ anyways? No, I don’t consider myself a martyr, but rather, I see parenting as a huge commitment. And in order to do it ‘right’, I need to take it seriously. However, in 2012, I realized that I can take myself seriously, too. I’ve wanted to write professionally since I can remember. I studied English during college, and once I graduated, my writing stayed hidden inside journals. This year I learned that getting back to my roots meant taking a chance and being vulnerable. Last year, writing brought passion back to my life, along with courage, happiness, sadness, and stories, too.

Generosity

This year I adored watching my children plan and purchase their gifts for others. With the innocence of children, they worked hard to find just the right gift for just the right person. Listening to them exclaim that they ‘cannot wait for me to open it’ made my heart beam. And despite all the tragedy of Sandy Hook, we learned that we can pay it forward. As my son and I participated in #26Acts, he declared it ‘awesome-just like a treasure hunt’ except in reverse. We didn’t finish all 26 by Christmas, but that’s more than ok; as we give freely in 2013, we hope others will be inspired to freely give.

Good Friends

I actually didn’t attend one holiday party this year. I prefer to keep it quiet, keep it simple, and keep it at home. So much of our lives is spent out in public that for me, the holiday season is a perfect time to spend with family. That’s not to say that good friends aren’t part of our equation, but simply, in a different, more personal way. I still send Christmas cards, and rejoice with each envelope that comes through our mailbox. In 2012 my list of friends grew in ways I could never have predicted; I met teachers from all over the country, new friends in Indonesia, and grew to know writers online from around the world. Good friends aren’t just honored during the holidays, they are nurtured all year long.

So I wish you all a happy and healthy 2013, the comfort of family and friends, and the courage to do what you never thought you could.

I’ll drink to that!

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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47

Posted on December 9, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”

– Abraham Lincoln

My Indonesian ‘dress cut’ experience

I took this seriously last year; breathing some life into areas that have been dormant, neglected, or otherwise overlooked. Another year of happiness, laughter and lessons learned – here are some of my favorites:

Go big.

This year was really about trying something new-all the time. I forced myself in directions I never knew I was interested in or qualified for. I wrote-a lot. I threw it all out there and watched where it landed, pushed a few pieces into place, and found some that had gone missing. I learned that going big is often scary, but always worth it.

Let go.

My kids officially grew taller than me this year. It actually was a humbling experience when my baby boy passed me up. Watching my daughter drive away from me for the first time chipped a piece off my heart, reminding me I had to let go and trust that everything has a way of working itself out. I released some habits and situations that weren’t working for me, looking for more positive instead of negative. I learned that letting go is growing forward.

Work hard.

I surely did that this year. I pushed for my best and tried not to repeat what wasn’t working for me. I showed up. I tried. I learned that working hard is exhausting, but creates energy in the right places.

Be humble.

I went places this year that I never imagined I would. I felt outnumbered, out of place, and out of control. I remember the calls to prayer, the fears, and the deep sense of respect at how small a world we live in, yet what a large part I can play. I learned that being humble can bring safety and comfort, and that relinquishing control can reveal a whole new perspective.

Say no.

Learning to stand up for ourselves can take a lifetime. Watching bullying, in our community, our country, and our world gave me the power to practice saying no. Daily, I listened to one of my college interns call out ‘Make good choices’ to my students as they exited my classroom door, and tried to do the same. I learned that saying no allows me to say yes when I want to, and that going with my gut is usually takes me in the right direction.

Be grateful.

Obama’s elementary school in Jakarta

I saw people and places this year that shattered my heart and made me fearful for our future. I met people who lifted me up, taught me about hope, and reminded me to make peace with what I have, where I am, and who I’m with. This year, I learned that blessings come in a multitude of ways, and that happiness and gratitude hold hands.

As I end 47 and open the chapter of 48, I think of all that I’ve experienced: the children, parenting, family, teaching, education, memories and motherhood that blended themselves together and brought such lessons to me. Typing this, I’m reminded of all that I hold close, and all that is yet to come. I’m happy about 47, and watch out 48- I’ve got big ideas waiting to throw at you. This is definitely not the time to feel old!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Dear Family, Love J

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Dear Family,

Last night, as we slumped around the table, bellies full and wine glasses empty, I took my turn and shared two words of gratitude. Surprised, you asked if that was all. The truth is, it wasn’t, but at the time, those were the only words I could say out loud. Now, hours later in the light of day, I have the rest.

I am grateful for the dawn over the Sierras inching up, pale pink to my left, golden yellow to my right, unveiling my angels sleeping in the back seat.

I am grateful for the dark roast with cream warming next to me as I type, helping me greet every morning with a smile.

I am grateful for the new and the old, the memories that push me forward into the future and those that ground me in the past.

I am grateful for air conditioning, Bintang beer and chocolate-center Cotton Buns. You saw me through some challenging times last summer.

I am grateful for friends I’ve made and lost, friends I’ve seen and those I have only thought of. You may not know it, but I listen to you and learn more about myself from your presence.

I’m grateful for curiosity, challenge and conflict. From them, I grow into a better human.

I’m grateful for brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, uncles and aunts, grandmothers and grandfathers. Your eyes help create my vision, even when they don’t see in the same direction.

I’m grateful for simplicity, complication, and everything in between. It always seems to come at just the wrong, yet just the right time.

I’m grateful for the 6,000,000-plus like-minded people who turned left, not right, and helped me see a future.

I’m grateful for the wind whistling through the trees. Some say it’s the spirit talking. I’m thankful I believe them.

I’m grateful for language. The words I write, the sounds I hear, and the letters I read teach me in a way I learn best.

I’m grateful for faith, wavering in and out, back and forth, between the sky, the spirits, and the universe. Sometimes, you’re all I’ve got.

I’m grateful for June 29, 1985. Our worlds collided then, and life has been a doozy ever since.

Now, I’m back to where I began. Two words. Two spirits. Two reasons to face each day, to walk the talk, to take a step forward when what I really want to do is stay right where I am. Because when the pink glow is gone, replaced by a blaze of red, or orange, or a blanket of black, those two words are all that matter.

And that, dear family, is what I’m grateful for.

Love,

Jennifer Wolfe

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Beach Walk

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Sometimes we just have to grab onto whatever it takes to make it through the day…

memories of peaceful times, hopes for the future, faith in friendships, and love of beauty.

Peace.

What do you do to brighten your day? Do you have a special place that you go back to?

Jennifer Wolfe

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Taking Time To Relax Along The Road Trip of Life

Posted on August 28, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop”

– Ovid, Roman Poet (43 BC – 17 AD)

What Ovid said thousands of years ago really rings true to me today. I have to think about, plan, and prepare for relaxation. It doesn’t just happen for me. It takes work, but it’s worth it.

When we stop to relax, we realign ourselves. Suddenly we aren’t the passengers in our life anymore – we are in control of the car. We get to decide where we want to go in life, and we create new openings for things to happen.

Think of your life right now as a road trip. Are you jumping on the highway, car loaded down with everything you think you might possibly need? Do you have reservations for each leg of the journey, each night and every waking moment?

And then you get a flat tire. Or an engine that just quits. Maybe even a fender bender.

And then what? Road trip disrupted. Detour.
It’s the start of the school year. For most parents, that is something to look forward to – life gets a bit easier when the kids are out of the house, we’re not twisting our brains to come up with an exciting adventure for the day, and the nagging of teenagers who would rather sleep in than do their chores is a thing of the past.

For teacher parents, though, it’s a double edged sword. We don’t get to enjoy quiet moments anymore – when the kids are home, we’re rushing back from our classrooms, trying to get a fabulous meal prepared while simultaneously driving kids to sports, walking the dog (who is the most excited family member to see you), switching laundry, unloading the dishwasher and answering emails. Exhausting.

The way to survive, I’ve learned, is to plan some fun. Sometimes it’s something easy – taking an evening walk with a good friend or sharing a cup of coffee downtown. Laughter and snacks with a good glass of Sonoma biodynamic wine gives me something to look forward to after a long day of teaching middle school; if I’m lucky, I’ll squeeze a weekend trip to Sonoma, Sutter Creek, or Santa Cruz, even. I’ve been thrown by that ‘lack of AAA Roadside Life Service’ way too many times. I’m a natural born planner, I live by a schedule, and spend most of my day following a lesson plan – I can even tell you what the plans are for the entire week ahead. But that’s only at school.

I’m back on the treadmill. It’s not a bad workout – I kind of like it, actually. As long as I can train myself to stop once in awhile, jump off, get into the driver’s seat, and take off. Take a rest. No plans, just looking for a friend, some fun, and a great glass of wine.

images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Santa Cruz on Dwellable

Jennifer Wolfe

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