Tag: reading

Powerful or Powerless: The Execution of Noa P. Singleton

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Jennifer Wolfe

“it’s that sense of powerlessness that destroyed my soul. i cannot be as good as i would like to be.nor as bad as i think i need to be.i think you have the same doubts that your goodness was not rewarded.”
― Paulo Coelho

Powerless Structures (Photo credit: failing_angel)

“Like all great stories, mine begins with classic Greek lore. With Persephone, the daughter of Zeus, wife of Hades, queen of the underworld, goddess of death, and my closest friend when I was twelve years old.”

– from The Execution of Noa P. Singleton by Elizabeth L. Silver

As a Child:

“You may feel powerless as a child, but the world will one day be yours. And you’re responsible for it. So, seize the day and take charge of it.”

–Harvey Fierstein

It wasn’t far from my 6th grade classroom to our cozy little house on the tree lined street. Classic Americana small town living; our family of six squished into the brown shingled house with the cork tree out front. We played on the street, kicking the can or legendary games of hide and seek nearly every summer night.

But this afternoon the street was eerily quiet as I pedaled my green Schwinn one speed down the lane and pulled into the driveway. Walking up the curved, hedge lined front path I was surprised at the lack of activity. Cautiously, I opened the front door and stepped inside. My footsteps echoed on the hardwood floors as I slowly stepped down the hall, gazing into each empty room.

“Mom?” I called to no one.

I walked past the bathroom, sterile in its emptiness, and towards the cozy room I shared with my younger sister. Empty. And my brother’s room looked sad, empty of trucks, Legos and Lincoln Logs. I continued down to my parent’s room, realizing what I would find wasn’t there, but hoping it was.

As I retraced my steps, I found myself whispering goodbye to each room. I wandered through the living room with the picture window facing the garden where our Christmas tree used to stand, the family room where Sesame Street, Julia Child and Sonny and Cher broadcast out of our black and white, and into the kitchen. Empty.

Returning to the front hall, I paused, looked back, and wiped the tear from my face. “Goodbye, house,” I mouthed as I shut the door, climbed on my bike, and rode away. Powerless, I never looked back.

As a Young Woman:

“Being tall is an advantage, especially in business. People will always remember you. And if you’re in a crowd, you’ll always have some clean air to breathe.”

-Julia Child

It was Bastille Day in Paris, 1989. We were young, in love, and spending the summer with packs on our backs and Eurail passes in our pockets. Fresh from the Louvre, we ambitiously boarded the train back to our hostel. Feeling relieved to find a seat, I carefully clutched my recent purchase: two Monet reproduction posters, just waiting to be framed and hung on our bedroom wall.

“S’il vous plaît quitter le train. Il ya un autre venant en rapide derrière nous. S’il vous plaît quitter le train,” the announcer broadcast in rapid fire French. My brain processed as quickly as I could;all I could translate was ‘Please exit the train!” before dozens of Parisians began climbing over each other, terror on their faces. That, we understood.

I felt myself getting squished down in the melee, my Monets still tightly in my grasp. Panic had set in, and the announcer continued to blare his message of terror.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my arm. In an instant I was swept off my feet, powerless to the crowd. I sailed over subway seats, moving to the exit with amazing speed. My other arm still clutching my Monets, I somehow landed on my feet and gazed up at my boyfriend with great relief.

“Run!” he shouted, and we dashed for the stairs leading up and out of the Metro, panic coursing through our bodies. As we reached the stairs, suddenly the tension eased and the crowd began to laugh.

“Pas besoin de s’inquiéter. Le prochain train arrivera sous peu. Nous vous remercions de votre coopération.”

This time, my college level French completely left me. Language fail had left me powerless, but as I watched the next train calmly pull up behind us I realized we were safe.

As a Mother:

“It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.”

– Helen Keller

It just seemed like the right thing to do, for some crazy reason. A leap of faith, maybe, that my children and I would be safe. Months of preparation led up to this point; immunizations, packing, fund raising and studying the Nicaraguan culture and finally, we were ready to leave.

As we gathered together in the airport, I was seized with anxiety. What was I doing? Taking my kids to a country I’d never been to, with people I didn’t know, to spend two weeks of hard work building a school in uncertain circumstances?

Sleep wasn’t an option on the red eye flight to Managua. As we gently descended my anxiety ebbed, then released. We were here. I could do this, even alone.

It was a few days later when we met him; a doe eyed, nine year old boy with closely shaved hair and no shoes. His name was Victor, and he wore the same red jersey and yellow shorts to the work site each day, darting out of the bushes as our Toyota truck clambered up the dirt road. He became our only real reason for going to the work site – his smile was that powerful. Cameron and he bonded, spending hours together scampering around the school site, finger knitting friendship bracelets and conversing easily in Spanish.

When the last day came, my tears flowed freely. Cameron hugged me as we drove away, assuring me it would be ok. And actually, in some way I knew he was right. It would be ok. We would be ok. This powerful experience would forever be etched in our heart, and his smile forever on my mind. We did this. I did this for my kids, and nothing could quite compare.

This post was inspired by the novel The Execution of Noa P. Singleton by Elizabeth L. Silver. Mere months before Noa’s execution, her victim’s mother changed her mind Noa’s sentence and vows to help stay the execution. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. Grab your copy of The Execution of Noa P. Singleton and join From Left to Write on July 30 when we discuss the book.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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reading with mamawolfe: Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Jennifer Wolfe

Sometimes we all need a break from the rough and tumble reality we call life. Sometimes we just need to stop, slide into position, and crack the spine of a good book. Sometimes, escaping reality into someone else’s life just makes ours seem…much more bearable.

When Jen Lancaster’s new novel Here I Go Again arrived, just one look at the lime green cover made me smile. I could tell this book was going to be fun…and I was right! Just like an umbrella-adorned cocktail sipped poolside, Jen’s novel went down easily-just what I needed before grading stacks of essays, evaluating book projects, and turning in semester grades. I needed something easy to digest, pretty to look at, and, sigh, not too heady.

Here I Go Again shares the story of Lissy Ryder, beginning at her 20 year high school reunion. As she faces the reality she has created for herself, she begins to obsess with her shallow, divorced, out of shape and rock bottom self, and in a Back to the Future like time-travel event, manages to return to her teenage years to ‘reset’ her life. I know, it sounds a bit hokey, but it was entertaining-who hasn’t wanted to do that?

Back to the Future (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At first, I thought the story had taken a dive and nearly stopped reading. But Jen Lancaster’s clever writing, witty language and comforting references to all things early 90s kept me hooked. I began to care about what happened to this pathetic creature! I certainly I knew girls like her in high school-the quintessential “mean girl”, the popular, pretty, never-without-a-date blonde cheerleader type. The kind of girl that, like Lissy, comes back to high school reunions full of faded glory. But somehow, I slid into the story like looking into an old yearbook, each page reminding me of how happy I was to graduate and leave the world of cliques, dating and drama behind.

Here I Go Again tackles the dark side of high school, where each of us struggles to find ourselves in the face of what can seem to be overwhelming daily critiques of our every move. As Lissy says to kids today, “ Save your budding individuality for college…stay with the herd! The herd’s way safer than being out there all by your lonesome with your pink hair and nose ring! Eccentricity is great…but wait until you graduate.” Having been one of those outside the herd, I think she makes a point, but also misses one: being eccentric develops character, something she ultimately learns the hard way. Lancaster’s deft writing allows adult readers to wince in remembrance as well as sit with confidence that not only can we survive the trials in life, but come out exactly where we’re supposed to be.

Lissy’s desire to take a deep look at herself, the choices she made, and how each of our actions has a domino effect on those in our lives, sends a sweet message: we are all connected, and what we do matters. And as the liner notes say, “Karma is the only bitch bigger than she is.”

Jen Lancaster’s novel, Here I Go Again, is definitely worth reading. It’s a good reminder that what goes around, comes around, and we only go around once. Make it worthwhile.

Would you like to read more about Here I Go Again? Please join our online discussion at BlogHer Book Club!

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

Jennifer Wolfe

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reading with mamawolfe: Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Posted on December 10, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Like many avid readers, my bookshelf overflows with piles of ‘to-read’ or ‘in progress’ titles. Being one who cannot part with a favorite, volumes of old friends mingle with the new, making for quite a commotion in space. I peruse, sort, and even dust the titles carefully, always wishing for more time, for those moments when no one needs me and I can cuddle up with someone else’s thoughts for a little while.

It is rare that I finish reading multiple chapters of a book in one sitting, let alone the entire book in the course of a weekend. Moms and teachers just don’t have that kind of time.

Recently I found a book that wouldn’t let me ignore it. I’d heard about Wild, by Cheryl Strayed – everyone seemed to be talking about if after Oprah announced it as her first pick for her revised “Oprah Book Club 2.0” last year. The problem for me, aside from a disconcerting lack of time for myself, was that I always bristle at the mainstream. When something becomes a big seller, it makes me nervous. Not because I think I’m somehow more “ivory tower” than anyone else is, but because I’m really, really choosy about how I spend my time.

So when I cracked the cover of Wild, I was ready to be unimpressed. I was surprisingly disappointed – not in the writing, but that I could not put it down.

After the first few pages, I grabbed my writing notebook and began jotting down quotes. Like this one on page 51: “Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told.” Ok, Cheryl, you’re speaking to me now. To the woman who kissed a Komodo dragon in Indonesia last summer. To the one who is trying to write and hoping someone is listening. To the mom of two teenagers. I’m hooked.

Wild tells the autobiographical story of Cheryl’s early twenties, when her life had absolutely spiraled down into a place where many of us would simply give up. From an unorthodox, meager childhood, to the early, tragic death of her mother, to a young marriage and eventually hitting rock-bottom abusing heroin, Cheryl’s story was not unbelievable. I could feel the absolute plausibility of her words, seeing many women who could have easily fallen into the choices she made.

What I could not believe is her courage. And independence. And her somewhat reckless decision to hike the Pacific Crest trail, alone, without any experience.

But I admired her courage, her independence, and reckless decisions. I felt connected to her. I, myself, have hiked day trips on the Pacific Crest trail, but never would I have considered going all the way from the Mojave Desert to Oregon. That takes some guts. I understood how she made her decision, “how few choices (she) had, and how often (she) had to do the thing (she) least wanted to do.” I’ve been there-as a mom, an educator, and a woman. Sometimes, it seems like I’m there on a daily basis.

Cheryl’s journey reminded me of the power of the human spirit, the struggle so many of us go through to find ourselves, and the power of mind over body. While some might mock her for her reckless unpreparedness, none could fault her for her determination. When Cheryl could have simply escaped into the depths of an anonymous life, blaming everyone and everything for her problems, she instead set out. “I asked for the shelter of my tent, for the smallest sense that something was shielding me from the entire rest of the world…”

Through her journey, she discovered the shelter of the world, the gifts that the universe has for those of us courageous enough to listen. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or out of time for yourself, please stop and crack open the cover of Wild. You’ll be glad you did.

Jennifer Wolfe

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reading with mamawolfe: Diary of a Submissive

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions expressed are my own.”

It’s a good thing I got a free copy of this book to review; if I paid money for it, I would have been really disappointed. One of the benefits of reviewing books for BlogHer Book Club is finding new authors and titles I wouldn’t otherwise know, so I approached Diary of a Submissive with an open mind. Knowing it was marketed as a sort of 50 Shades of Grey didn’t excite me – I’ve never read that series, and never much cared for mass-market books at all. Turns out I was right – this book just didn’t do it for me.

Diary of a Submissive starts with protagonist Sophie Morgan, a self-proclaimed “independent woman in her thirties with a successful journalism career.” The book’s abrupt shift into telling the story of her ‘sexual awakening’ absolutely defies my definition of independent – Sophie is into D/s and spends the rest of her memoir explicitly trying to convince the reader that she is a ‘modern’ woman, depsite the fact that she allows men and women to strip her of any sense of self.

Some might claim that her submissiveness shows control over her body and her choices, but to me, it takes women back decades, centuries even, to a time when women fought for equality. Reading Sophie’s story made me feel pity for her and her inability to stand up for herself.

Diary of a Submissive – don’t let the demure pearls on the cover fool you. I should have trusted my gut and stayed away from a book that didn’t grab me from the start.

Want to read more opinions on Diary of a Submissive? Join BlogHer’s book chat!

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Jennifer Wolfe

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Discover a New Author…EC Stilson

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

In 2011, The Golden Sky by EC Stilson became one of the hundred best-selling books about loss on Amazon! Wayman Publishing is now excited to announce the release of Bible Girl—the prequel to The Golden Sky. This is the amazing true story of a hilarious girl trying to find her way through the teen years. Bible Girl was just accepted into the Barnes & Noble catalog and will be .99 for a limited time HERE.

Please join voiceBoks, Giveaway Promote, Good Steward Savers, Terri’s Little Haven, and Linkie’s Contest Linkies in promoting this wonderful book launch. Here’s a little blurb about the book:

The book practically cried for me to spare its life, and for a moment I thought I’d rather burn in Hell than lose something my brother had given me in love. The pastor nudged me, though, and my heart turned to ice.

I thought of all those hours my brother had read to me. I thought of all that time he’d invested.

I couldn’t throw it into the fire; not the last book of the trilogy. That funny little dwarf stared at me from the cover. Then, I closed my eyes. I stepped so close to the flames they almost ate my skin. I tore the book in front of those kids. I put on quite a show throwing in a section at a time because I couldn’t stand sending the whole thing in at once. When the last pages went up in flame, and the dwarf on the cover curled with death, I dropped to my knees and cried. The kids all hooted and screamed in ecstasy, thinking I’d been freed, when the ropes of religion had just twisted tighter.

Elisa isn’t your regular nerd. She’s not the kind of person who quotes Monty Python, or has a periodic table tattooed on her butt. No she’s a different sort altogether. She carries a duct-taped Bible, wears bright-orange polyester pants, and dyes her hair with red Kool-Aid.

Although she tries slipping by apart from the crowds, it doesn’t help that her best friend happens to be the “Boarder,” one of the cutest and most popular boys in school.

It isn’t until Elisa realizes she’s surrounded by hypocrites that her foundation starts crumbling. She doesn’t know who to turn to. That’s when she meets a mysterious man. But maybe she shouldn’t trust him after all.

Will he help her, or make things even worse than they were before?

This giveaway was made possible by the following sponsors:

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Jennifer Wolfe

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