teacher Archives - Page 17 of 17

A child murdered by her parent. A child hit by a car in front of her house. A child caught in the struggle between foster and biological parents. A child entering a new school in a new city. A child moving away from her friends. A child rebelling dangerously against her parents. A child living homeless. A child unexpectedly losing her mother.

This week children are weighing heavily on my mind. Preparing to return to my classroom, I am overrun with emotions, nerves, memories, fears, and expectations. Starting up a new school year is supposed to be exciting-a fresh start, a new chapter in the life of a child, a time for families to gather together and celebrate a new beginning. Yet as I go through each day, it seems as if I’m bombarded by children in crisis. It scares me.

I’ve been teaching for 20 years, mostly all of those in junior high schools. I’m used to dealing with kids as they experience the joys of ‘tween’ and ‘teen’ years. But this month it feels different. Less exciting. More serious.

What is happening to our children? Are things really so different from when I walked the halls of my school as a 9^th grader, mainly concerned about how my overalls looked (it was the 70’s) and if my hair had curled correctly that morning? Sure, I had friends who had family problems, and knew kids who got in trouble. But all this?

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Who is making the choices here? Parents know that we need to empower our children, teach them how to be confident, strong, mature humans. We choose to give them experiences that will nurture their talents, expose them to the world, and teach them how to survive when they leave home. We remember images of our babies, smiling up at us as we hold them. Our toddlers curiously pulling everything out of drawers. Our kindergarteners learning to write and glue and skip. Our elementary school students lining up, playing ball, and performing class musicals. Our teens biking to school alone, having slumber parties, getting their drivers license. Our graduates, leaving home. But these kids-what are they learning? That life is hard. That children can be powerless. That even good parents can make bad choices. That no one is listening?

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No parent thinks that as they send their child out for the day that a car will hit them and knock them out of their shoes, left unconscious on the street. No parent thinks their estranged partner will commit the unthinkable act of taking their child’s life. No parent thinks their child will steal, lie or cheat. No parent wants bad things to happen to their child. But they do and it’s scary and I’m mad.

I’m mad that children are victims. I’m mad that adults don’t take the time to look kids in the eye and really SEE them. Slow it down. Pay attention. Pause. Listen. You will be amazed what you can learn-not just about your own kid, but about all kids. What is in their control? Really think about why they act the way they do-they’re trying to tell us something. Think about what is out of their control. Think about what choices have been made for them.

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What I’ve learned from decades of working with teens is that they almost always want to do the right thing. Kids don’t always know what the ‘right’ thing is-but they usually can find their way if someone takes the time to listen to them. I’ve learned that kids like limits-they like to have things to choose from. And yes, they will challenge – testing limits is a natural process in learning. They like choice. Kids don’t like to be boxed in and feel like all the adults in their life know what’s best for them. They like to be listened to. I’ve learned that children shouldn’t be seen and not heard.

What I’m still learning is that bad things happen. Adults will make choices that have superb and terrible impact on kids, and that’s the way life works. I’m still learning that kids are strong, resilient and remarkable and can survive and thrive despite amazing experiences that would send most of us screaming into the abyss.

Please, listen and hear what they’re saying. Give them a voice. Give them a choice.

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Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away” – Anonymous

One of those moments for me is seeing a double rainbow. Now, I’m not a science teacher, and I would be hard pressed to give an accurate description as to the reasons for this phenomenon. Something about refraction and reflection I think, but what I do know is that no matter what I’m doing, a double rainbow stops me in my tracks. The sense of unpredictability, fragility, and instability hits me, and I can’t take my eyes off it. I’ve given up trying to snap a photo-it never seems to capture the intensity of color or splendor. It is a moment that could be gone in an instant, best savored in ‘real-time’.

A friend of mine passed away last month. He was exactly my age, was a teacher, married, and had two young kids, a boy and a girl-just like me. Also like me, all he had really ever wanted to do and had done for a career is teach junior high. He was a really, really nice guy-one of those people who everyone likes and is just happy all the time. Now, he’s gone. He passed away as the school year was winding down, causing all of us who knew him to stop what we were doing and just grieve.

A few weeks ago his family held a celebration of his life. Hawaiian shirts and baseball gear were the requested attire. Although he didn’t live in Davis, he made an enormous impact on our community, especially noted by the numbers of former students who turned up at the memorial. Teaching is one of those professions that doesn’t always allow us to see the impact we have on our students in the moment. We move from day to day, month to month, and when we hit the 180 day mark our ‘term’ is over. We say goodbye, sign yearbooks, give hugs and best wishes and they leave the classroom. For me, it often seems like our time together was too short and I’ve still got more to teach.

What I’ve learned lately is that moments with people are unpredictable, fragile, and when looked at from the right perspective we can see everything in living color-ROYGBIV. What I’m still learning is that moments and people may be gone in an instant, but the imprint they leave on us is what’s memorable. And like the double rainbow I saw on the way home from the memorial, meant to be savored right now.

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OUR Children – Do You Hear Them?

Jennifer Wolfe

Double Rainbow

Jennifer Wolfe