I Remember Sleep

I remember when I used to sleep.  It was really a wonderful time. I would actually sleep until my body woke me up, not the alarm. Not a child screaming from a nightmare, nor sleepwalking down the hall.  Not the ding of an incoming text nor the toot of car horns outside my window.  I could sleep through our barking dog, blaring sirens, and our screeching burglar alarm.
I remember slipping softly into crisp high thread count sheets on my soft, pillow top mattress.  I remember the feeling of the cool breeze floating down on my face from the window open just above me.  Sleep came easily, quickly, silently, lasting 10, 11, sometimes 12 hours.  Bliss.

I remember sleep.  She would come almost anywhere-on a boat, in a plane, on the floor of the train station, on a bench, or in a car.  She didn’t need just the right place, nor any special stuff.  Upright, laid out, or curled up she descended.

I remember waking up peacefully to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the chirping of sparrows in my garden.  I remember the swoosh of the sprinklers soaking my lawn.  Not an alarm, not the thud of footsteps down the hall, nor the thwack of the newspaper hitting my front door.
I remember sleep.  I used to think maybe I slept too much, that I was ‘wasting the day’.  What I know now was that I was storing up, notching the hours for the deprivation yet to come.  Not dozens, not tens, but hours that can be counted on one hand each night.

I remember sleep.  Maybe someday she will return.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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  1. When my youngest was three, I remember thinking that I would never get a full night’s sleep until she was grown. Well, she is 30, married, and lives in Europe. I STILL don’t get a full night’s worth. Now, it is because I have to use the bathroom. Sigh.

  2. Hi J.C.~For me, it’s not even my children keeping me up anymore-well, I guess they do indirectly. They’re teens, so I’m either waiting for them to go to sleep so I can start working, or waiting up for them to get home so I can sleep without worrying!

  3. Oh, I love this. I have such a brutal couple of weeks–work craziness–and my sleep has been restless and haunted. On the weekends I continue to wake early. WHY?? Even today I woke before 7 and gave into the wide eyes and went for a walk. Oh, how i miss those mornings I could ‘catch up’ and sleep until noon. (I can’t even nap. What’s with that? Thanks for reminding me, I think!)

  4. Hi, Mamawolfe

    I just love your post. I could not stop laughing. I use to be able to sleep too till I had my first child and after baby number two I was done. I haven’t had good sleep in 15 years. I can’t wait to get sweet sleep and wake up refresh. LOL

    Thank you for stopping by homesweetbutterfly.com and linking up yesterday. I am also your new follower.

    Have a great weekend,

  5. Hello, I think we all agree on this one, sleep is a beautiful thing when you can get it. Even better if it’s uninterrupted. TFS. Hopping from Katherine’s Corner

  6. Hi May~ I appreciate your words of wisdom. I shouldn’t joke with it either. It can make all the difference.
    Hi Karen~ I used to be able to sleep through snoring, too!
    Hi MA~ I forgot about the crows! Yes!
    Hi Christina~ 🙂
    Hi Dee~When I was in college I lived in an apartment directly under a couple like that…makes it hard to relax. I look forward to that deep sleep someday.

  7. Several years ago I lived across the street from a couple who had nightly, violent fights and we–their neighbors–called the police who came with siren to disturb the night even more. Their fights would wake me from a sound sleep and soon I wasn’t sleeping soundly because my body awaited their raised voices and the shatter of pottery in their house.

    Because of that, I often rested at night but didn’t sleep. One week, I got much rest but only 10 hours of actual sleep.

    Thankfully that time of my life is over. But the body later demands that we sleep again as you did at one time. Deeply.


  8. Oh yea. And when the kids are older and not waking you up, it’s your hormones! :-/ And yes, the neihbor’s dog, the cars going by, the crows that decided to caw incessantly at 5:00 a.m. or the college students living next door partying all night. Sigh…

    And yes, Karen, SNORING!

  9. I was just thinking about this – reflecting on the days I used to just get in bed, whenever, and sleep.

    Will it come back? I’m not sure.

    The problem with now is that even when all three kids are sleeping, and it’s sleeping time…I often cannot. WHY? WHY I ask you? Who the heck knows. Habit? Non-sleeping habit?

    How sad. But true. This post made me nostalgic. I used to LOVE sleeping – did it all the time – I loved sleeping between classes in college, late into the day, early, late. Ahhh, sleep.

  10. The only way i relax my nerves is by sleeping.. I don’t joke with it because is good to the health. Thanks for linking up in Exposure 99% weekday hop, looking forward being part of your blog..

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