Tag: children

Moms at Work

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I’ve always been a working mom. I was one of those women who thought that I could do it all – full time teaching, ever present spouse and greet my kids after school with a tray of freshly baked cookies.

Life didn’t exactly turn out that way.

When my daughter was born, I was sure I could return to my 7^thgrade English teaching job. It only would require a 60-minute round trip commute and leaving her home with her dad all day. And, I could still breast feed.

Luckily, the sleep deprivation got to me, and I realized not all that was going to happen.

After six months home with her it was time to return to the classroom. I settled on a 5^thgrade position that would allow me to work closer to home and have fewer papers to grade. I could zip home on my lunch hour to feed the baby, zip back for the afternoon and be home in time to bake cookies for my husband.

Life didn’t exactly turn out that way, either.

Trying to time a feeding for the 10-minute window I had available didn’t sit well with my stubborn daughter. The tears when I left didn’t sit well with my husband. Fifth graders were sucking all my patience – they were so clingy. And the cookies? That was just a fantasy.

The following school year I tried something else – a 7^thgrade position in a town about 10 minutes away. The plus side was the curriculum-my comfort zone-and my schedule-8-12. The down side was the commute-15 minutes each way might have well been crossing the state line. But she was growing up, and didn’t depend on me quite as much. My husband mastered the art of the long walk to tire her out, and she adjusted.

Then life presented baby #2.

This time I gave in. Stay at home mom I would be. The pendulum swung, my husband took a second job, and I spent every waking moment with both kids. I baked cookies-but he was too tired to eat them when he got home. Baby #2 didn’t seem to know who this man was that stumbled into the house every night, too exhausted to play, laugh or go to the park.

Going back to work was at least familiar, if not exciting. Teacherwolfe went into full gear. I decided that the commute could be a time for myself, and found that by the time I got home mamawolfe had reappeared and was excited to re-enter the home. My husband left his second job, balance slowly reappeared, and so did the cookies.

Life never tasted so sweet.

primark

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Friday Photo: Change

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

This is how my son sees himself:
Invincible.
Capable.
Brave.

He can hang from trees, climb rocks, take down an intruder
and
fly down a ski course.

He can run fast and think hard.

This is how I see my son:
Gentle.
Intelligent.
Fearless.

He can snuggle his dog, play the piano, help a stranger
and
make lemon pasta.

He can think fast and run hard.

He is still a little boy, yet almost a little man.

Change is hard.
Fascinating.
Frustrating.
Beautiful.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Driving Lessons Part One: The Early Years

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“Well, at least now I know not to floor it going into the driveway while cutting off people and scraping the front of the car on the curb,” my 15 year old daughter reflected after putting the car into park.

We all know that this day is coming. Parents are always marking off the milestones with our children-first tooth, first steps, first words, first day of school, first loose tooth, first ….driving lesson?

I decided to handle this milestone by putting the responsibility with my daughter. If she wanted to drive, she needed to be mature and responsible enough to make it happen. She would be obligated to research the online driver’s training course, sign up and complete the requirements. All I needed to do was provide the credit card number.

So she did.

Then it was time to take the written test. Again, the ball was in her court. She must research the hours of the DMV, figure out how to set up an appointment, make the appointment, study for the test and then show up and take it. All I needed to do was drive her there.

So she did.

Turns out the written test wasn’t as easy as she thought. She needed to figure out a different way to study and approach the test. All I needed to do was buy the DMV app from iTunes. That would buy me a few more weeks.

So I did.

I have a determined sort of daughter, it turns out. She studied and studied and eventually passed. The look on her face when she realized that she had gotten 100% was one I’ll never forget! My elation diminished quickly when I realized the next step: behind the wheel.

Again, she had to do the set up. Some might call this denial on my part – I call it strategy. Each step she accomplished on her own showed me that she was mature enough to handle driving, and allowed me a bit of time to get used to the idea.

When the day came for her first lesson I trembled with nervousness like she was going on her first date. Her white haired instructor, Luther, pulled up and quickly took her to his car. This milestone wasn’t as satisfying as her first word or her first steps. This one stung a little.

After what seemed like hours sitting in the driveway behind the wheel, she slowly backed out and drove off. My baby-behind the wheel of a bright blue Honda.

Two hours later she returned. No bumps or bruises or tear stains on her face. Her coy smile told me everything went ok, and Luther confirmed it. “A bit fast on the turns” was his only comment, aside from telling me that she now NEEDED TO DRIVE EVERY TIME WE GOT IN THE CAR!

What? Did I hear him correctly? Every time? There must be some other way…some type of driving simulator? My little red Prius doesn’t have a driver’s side set of brakes-how will I survive?

Like her first steps, her first words and the first day of school, I survived. The fear of the unknown haunts me as a parent. I knew what life was like when she could only crawl, would make baby signs for things she needed, or was only in preschool part of the day. I could never imagine how it could be any better than that moment, or how any age could me more special. But somehow, it was, and so is she.

Watching my first baby behind the wheel makes me think about all the lessons she’s learned in the last 15 years. She has learned the confidence it took to research the driving school. She has learned the responsibility it took to complete the online course. She has learned the determination it took to keep studying for the written test. She learned the poise it took to drive off in an unknown car with a strange man. And she’s learned that her mom trusts her enough to put her in charge of a lethal weapon – my little red Prius.

I hope she is learning how much I believe in her. I know she can do anything she sets her mind to.

To be continued…

mamawolfe spends her days teaching and parenting, and her nights writing about it.

Visit her blog mamawolfe for more life lessons and opinions on the world today

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

What Martin Luther King Jr. Means To Me

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I was just barely three years old when Martin Luther King Jr. was killed. That makes my life one that has really never had a first hands understanding of what his struggle was like. I have never known a time when there wasn’t such a thing as the Civil Rights Movement. I have never seen ‘separate but equal’. I have never seen signs for ‘coloreds’ or ‘whites’. I have never known a world when I couldn’t have black friends, go to school alongside black schoolmates, or date a black man.

That’s not to say that MLK’s dreams of a day when ‘children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character’ plays true in every part of our American society, let alone our world.

But what it does say is what Martin Luther King Jr. means to me.

1. History

With his death, I learned not to let history repeat itself. I will not live my life allowing others to demean or discriminate based on race, sex, religion, sexual preference or any other criteria.

2. Family

After MLK Jr. died, his daughter Yolanda began the crusade to keep his legacy alive. Much of what he stood for revolved around his dreams for his family. He taught them well – Yolanda’s dream of a national holiday in honor of his father is the reason we celebrate today.

3. Service

Martin Luther King Jr. was a man who served his country. Not every man or woman serves the same way, for the same reasons. MLK taught me to work for social justice and to carry that value on to my children, and the children I serve every day in the classroom.

4. Opportunity

As a white woman I have never experienced racial discrimination. I can only imagine the incredible frustration and anger one must feel when denied opportunity due to the color of one’s skin. Because of MLK opportunities were opened for those who never imagined they would.

5. Wisdom

MLK made people think. He made people act. He made people remember him. He made people wiser.

6. Education

Before MLK education was not equal. Black children were held hostage due to lack of equal access to knowledge. Students were empowered to act and demand the right to the same quality of schooling being given to whites. Now, other underrepresented groups are standing up to be heard.

7. Hope

Martin Luther King showed the world that if you dream it, you can become it. He provided hope for minorities, women, men and children who knew that they could be better, could do better, could live better than they were.

So today, as we honor a man who truly inspired a nation and influenced generations to come, please pause and think of what Martin Luther King Jr. means to you. Give thanks for his life and vision and lessons of peaceful protest. And, if you can, try to imagine what our world would be like had he never held fast to his dreams.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Friday Photo: Some Soup and a Story

Posted on January 14, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

For a moment on Wednesday night, I was worried. 20 freshmen and sophomores, gas stoves, sharp knives and the need to prepare and serve dinner for 40+ people in less than an hour? I questioned my choices.

As my students trickled into the shelter that night I quickly jumped into teacher mode and soon had the industrial sized kitchen humming with activity. Onions were chopped, meat was browning, cornbread was mixing up and tables were being set.

Little by little, my nervousness was replaced by problem solving. No measuring cup? No problem – use an app to convert cups to tablespoons. No, I don’t know how to use an industrial sized coffee maker – find someone to help you. And they did.

After a while, any passerby might have thought these kids were running the kitchen of the best restaurant in town. They were even wiping up after themselves! As they cooked they bonded with each other, and eased their own jitters about meeting the strangers waiting outside the door.

The real lesson came after the food was prepared and the homeless guests lined up to be served. With eagerness and compassion, these children served men and women who were actually not so different from themselves. Slowly they ventured towards the dinner tables

Sitting side by side and sharing a meal broke down the scariness. Stories began to move back and forth, child and adult bonding over simple food and a common desire to get to know each other’s story. I stood back and watched the transformation, and beamed with pride at the acts of compassionate justice occurring before my eyes.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me: