Tag: writing

On Blogging, Friendships, and Seizing the Opportunity

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Jennifer Wolfe

Essential oil altar in Tangerang, Indonesia

Last July I wrote a post about turning your dreams into realities. That was right before I set off on my trip to Indonesia, which brought some of my dreams about world travel to life.

Traveling to Indonesia per se wasn’t one of my dreams; rather, it was the embodiment of pushing myself forward into the universe and seizing opportunities that presented themselves to me. When I applied for and received the US Dept. of Education grant to study global education, teaching in a Muslim country was not on my radar. But as the chance to travel to a country I’ve never visited, and likely wouldn’t have chosen on my own, presented itself, I jumped in. I didn’t look for excuses not to, or reasons why I couldn’t go. I just did it.

Inside an Indonesian market

I started my blog in much the same way. Just decided to do it and began sharing my stories, thoughts, and life lessons through my words. I never thought much about blogging before that, but when the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed it.

I got hooked. Life hasn’t been the same since.

Blogging turned into a creative outlet, a launching pad for my dreams, and a platform to meet people all over the world. For an introvert like me, blogging created relationships with women I now can call friends.

Two of those women, Val and Kathy created a website, Bonbon Break, designed to provide a space to share their thoughts, wisdom, humor and ideas with like-minded women. When Kathy contacted me to be one of the first featured writers, I was thrilled to accept. Since then, we’ve grown our friendships and our websites and pushed ourselves forward.

bonbonbreaklogo200

This week I’ve written an original piece for BonBon Break, “Writing Well and the Readers Will Follow“. I hope you’ll jump over and take a look.

You never know what might be waiting there for you that you never imagined!

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Always in Season

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I always have a bit of a holiday let down. December is a big month for me: the start of ski season, my birthday, and of course, Christmas. Add in teaching junior high during this month full of expectation, and by the time Dec. 31 rolls around, I’m done.

In other words, I’m not a big New Year’s Eve fan.

I think the last time I actually went to a big New Year’s Eve party was in 1995 when I was pregnant with my first child.

I remember the millenium, taking down the Christmas decorations while the news blasted from my 9-inch black and white tv. I remember it well. Then, I had a three-year-old daughter AND a three-month old son. Fun times.

Needless to say, this New Year’s Eve I don’t anticipate much action, other than dinner with my now thirteen-year-old son, some quiet reflection time, maybe a cold beer, and, of course, some writing.

What I’ve also learned this year is that if I flip the holidays around, they don’t have to bring me down. In fact, I’ve learned that a few things about the holidays never go out of season, they instead are cultivated all year long:

Holiday Spirit

This year we simplified the holidays. We cut back to the most important and meaningful traditions, and enjoyed the spirit behind the season. My daughter noted that there wasn’t a day when we didn’t have holiday music playing in the background. We didn’t miss a chance to sing along with “Feliz Navidad” or Taylor Swift’s “Sounds of the Season”. I learned that holiday spirit alive doesn’t mean leaving up the Christmas tree until spring; rather, embracing the simple, the fun, and the merry all year long is the route to happiness.

Getting Back to Roots

As a parent, I feel obligated to put my children first. Always. The holiday season cements these feelings – isn’t Christmas ‘for the kids’ anyways? No, I don’t consider myself a martyr, but rather, I see parenting as a huge commitment. And in order to do it ‘right’, I need to take it seriously. However, in 2012, I realized that I can take myself seriously, too. I’ve wanted to write professionally since I can remember. I studied English during college, and once I graduated, my writing stayed hidden inside journals. This year I learned that getting back to my roots meant taking a chance and being vulnerable. Last year, writing brought passion back to my life, along with courage, happiness, sadness, and stories, too.

Generosity

This year I adored watching my children plan and purchase their gifts for others. With the innocence of children, they worked hard to find just the right gift for just the right person. Listening to them exclaim that they ‘cannot wait for me to open it’ made my heart beam. And despite all the tragedy of Sandy Hook, we learned that we can pay it forward. As my son and I participated in #26Acts, he declared it ‘awesome-just like a treasure hunt’ except in reverse. We didn’t finish all 26 by Christmas, but that’s more than ok; as we give freely in 2013, we hope others will be inspired to freely give.

Good Friends

I actually didn’t attend one holiday party this year. I prefer to keep it quiet, keep it simple, and keep it at home. So much of our lives is spent out in public that for me, the holiday season is a perfect time to spend with family. That’s not to say that good friends aren’t part of our equation, but simply, in a different, more personal way. I still send Christmas cards, and rejoice with each envelope that comes through our mailbox. In 2012 my list of friends grew in ways I could never have predicted; I met teachers from all over the country, new friends in Indonesia, and grew to know writers online from around the world. Good friends aren’t just honored during the holidays, they are nurtured all year long.

So I wish you all a happy and healthy 2013, the comfort of family and friends, and the courage to do what you never thought you could.

I’ll drink to that!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Eulogy For The Children of Newtown

Posted on December 21, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Mono Lake, considered one of the loneliest places on Earth.

I cannot imagine writing a eulogy for my child.

When I hesitantly turned on the news yesterday, that is what assaulted me: a mother’s last words to the six-year-old son she was leaving.

As the images of his life flashed on the screen, I quickly left the room. I would share her grief, her sorrow her tears. But I cannot imagine doing what she had to do.

The community of motherhood grieves in solidarity after the Newtown school shootings. Not one of us who has held our child, nursed them through illness, consoled them through sadness, beamed with them through happiness, or cradled them with love, can help but share the pain, the agony, and the devastation that twenty mothers in Connecticut are crawling through every day for the rest of their lives.

And we feel the guilt, too.

Each time my thirteen-year-old son hugs me, I feel it.

When my sixteen-year-old daughter kisses me goodnight, I feel it.

When I crack open their bedroom doors in the darkness, just to see if they’re breathing, I feel it.

My dear friend, writer Dawn Wink, expressed it this way on her blog, Dewdrops:

“ I immediately envisioned the intricate lace of a spider web, glistening with dew in the morning sun. I thought of the strength and tension of these gossamer strands and how the slightest movement or touch anywhere on the web sends waves of vibration through its entirety. How very like life. The web of each of our lives, interwoven and connected. I think of the web of my own life and relationships – of how often I have felt the vibrations of each movement on each strand. Whether they are vibrations of joy or pain, they affect the whole, ultimately collecting a lifetime of experiences.”

I will feel it on Christmas morning, on the last day of high school and the first day they go to college. I will feel it on their birthdays, on Halloween, and when they walk down the aisle. I will feel it when they win a race and lose a friend, when they sing along to the radio and when we savor a sweet chocolate chip cookie made together with love.

I will feel it because it didn’t just happen to them – it happened to all of us.

The fear of watching my children walk away is constant; there is never a time when they leave me that I don’t worry. Irrational? Maybe. But in today’s world, in my mind, it only takes an instant. There is no longer protection in the ‘it won’t happen to me’ world; there is simply randomness, the unexplainable, the irrational. It could happen to me. I’m not that special.

There’s a reason I’m called mamawolfe.

Protecting and nurturing my children flows through me with uncontrollable strength. It fills my days as a teacher and my nights as a mother, consuming any sense of relaxation into dedicating my life to make it better. Irrational? Maybe.

I have a clear understanding of the need to let my babies go, to trust they will come back. I clearly comprehend the need to stand next to them as they make their mistakes, take their chances, and find their dreams.

I whisper daily prayers to the darkness, hoping the universe is listening. I ask for protection, for comfort, for the universe to fold over our children and take them in. I breathe a ‘thank you’ as my words are answered, and take my gratitude for everyday life with me.

I have had eleven more years of gratitude than many of the mothers in our web. I get another day, another Christmas, another morning.

I feel the vibrations, their howls of anguish. I know the wetness of their tears and the firmness of the arms around us, holding on for fear of crumpling into the wet earth. I see the pain, the sorrow, and the fear.

I just cannot imagine writing it.

Jennifer Wolfe

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47

Posted on December 9, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”

– Abraham Lincoln

My Indonesian ‘dress cut’ experience

I took this seriously last year; breathing some life into areas that have been dormant, neglected, or otherwise overlooked. Another year of happiness, laughter and lessons learned – here are some of my favorites:

Go big.

This year was really about trying something new-all the time. I forced myself in directions I never knew I was interested in or qualified for. I wrote-a lot. I threw it all out there and watched where it landed, pushed a few pieces into place, and found some that had gone missing. I learned that going big is often scary, but always worth it.

Let go.

My kids officially grew taller than me this year. It actually was a humbling experience when my baby boy passed me up. Watching my daughter drive away from me for the first time chipped a piece off my heart, reminding me I had to let go and trust that everything has a way of working itself out. I released some habits and situations that weren’t working for me, looking for more positive instead of negative. I learned that letting go is growing forward.

Work hard.

I surely did that this year. I pushed for my best and tried not to repeat what wasn’t working for me. I showed up. I tried. I learned that working hard is exhausting, but creates energy in the right places.

Be humble.

I went places this year that I never imagined I would. I felt outnumbered, out of place, and out of control. I remember the calls to prayer, the fears, and the deep sense of respect at how small a world we live in, yet what a large part I can play. I learned that being humble can bring safety and comfort, and that relinquishing control can reveal a whole new perspective.

Say no.

Learning to stand up for ourselves can take a lifetime. Watching bullying, in our community, our country, and our world gave me the power to practice saying no. Daily, I listened to one of my college interns call out ‘Make good choices’ to my students as they exited my classroom door, and tried to do the same. I learned that saying no allows me to say yes when I want to, and that going with my gut is usually takes me in the right direction.

Be grateful.

Obama’s elementary school in Jakarta

I saw people and places this year that shattered my heart and made me fearful for our future. I met people who lifted me up, taught me about hope, and reminded me to make peace with what I have, where I am, and who I’m with. This year, I learned that blessings come in a multitude of ways, and that happiness and gratitude hold hands.

As I end 47 and open the chapter of 48, I think of all that I’ve experienced: the children, parenting, family, teaching, education, memories and motherhood that blended themselves together and brought such lessons to me. Typing this, I’m reminded of all that I hold close, and all that is yet to come. I’m happy about 47, and watch out 48- I’ve got big ideas waiting to throw at you. This is definitely not the time to feel old!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Turning Ideas Into Realities

Posted on July 16, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Have you ever had an idea that you wondered if you could make it work?

Did you lose sleep at night running it over and over in your mind, searching out the pros and cons, the rights and wrongs, the hows and whys?

Did you share it with your friends, ask for advice on Facebook, or search out an expert?

Did you try jumping in all at once, or take baby steps to test it out?

We teach our children to be adventurous, to raise their hand and share their thoughts, and to try new foods. We expect them to do things we never did ourselves, to speak for us when we cannot find our own voice, and to teach us how to use the newest technology that we do not understand.

For many of us, change is scary. We like the known over the unknown. Taking a chance means risking making a mistake, failing, or facing ridicule. Taking a chance means we might need to show our weaknesses. Taking a chance is also how we learn our life lessons.

I like to think that the older I get, the wiser I become. I let loose my inhibitions and step into situations that would have paralyzed me ten years ago. Sometimes it’s more of a physical challenge: I cast out on open water, soar through the air, or push myself to exhaustion.

Other times the mental task seems just as daunting: applying for a new program, sharing my thoughts, or taking on the terrifying task of parenting teenagers.

This week, two of my writer friends are taking on their own new challenge by bringing their idea into reality. Val and Kathy have created a website, Bonbon Break, designed to provide a space to share their thoughts, wisdom, humor and ideas with like-minded women, and I am honored to be one of the contributing writers in their first edition with my parenthood post on teaching social responsibility.

If you’re looking for a little inspiration, some interesting thoughts, and a great example of making your ideas come true, visit Bonbon Break! You’ll be happy you did.

Jennifer Wolfe

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