Category: quote

When I Stop Talking

Posted on September 5, 2012 by

I’ve always been a pretty quiet person.  I love the silence of the morning, the quiet only punctuated by the cawing of crows heading east towards the fields, the spurt of the coffee maker, and the rhythmic splat of the sprinkler as it sprinkles my garden before the sun comes up.

I love the quiet of reading books snuggled under a soft down comforter, the scratch of my pen on journal paper, and the hiss of the candle welcoming me into the daylight.

I never much enjoy talking on the phone, talking in groups or talking at parties.  I think it’s odd that I chose a job where talking consumes so much of my day.  I’ve been told that my teacher-talk is like a kindergarten teacher, explicitly outlining each step of a lesson and highlighting expectations.  I explain  that teaching middle school is just like teaching kindergarten.  When I stop talking, they notice.

I enjoy talking with my children the most.  The times when we’re driving in the car and they see something that reminds them of a story from school, or when I need to explain something very serious, or when we just giggle together are my absolute favorite.  The way they talk as teens is so different from when they were little – in many ways, it seems like the stakes are much higher now.  They need me to listen more now than ever.  There is a shift going on – a time to carefully choose my words, softly encouraging them to listen.

When my children talk to me, they share little bits of their soul.  Sometimes those bits are broken-off shards, sharp, piercing and painful.  Other times they are soft, pillowy bits of fluff that slip from their mouth and bounce around the room.

Sometimes when they talk it is hard to hear them – especially when their words tumble out at warp speed, piling on top of each other like wooden blocks poised to crash to the ground.  We stop, pause, and take our turns at being heard.

Their words matter to me.  When I listen to their young voices I hear my hope for their future.  I hear their curiosity about the world, and their questioning human morality.  When I listen to their words I see their children speaking, years from now, asking for their wisdom.  I hear their minds whirr as they process what they see and who they have heard.  I hear myself in their words.

I know the quiet is coming soon.  They will be gone, moving into their lives and exploring the world more quickly than I would like.  They will use their voices to share, teach, and understand.  They will deepen and stretch and take in so much more than I can imagine, more than I could ever tell them.  I will hunger for those car rides and late night conversations when I had their attention, when I could teach them what I thought they should know.  And when those days come,  I will drop everything for their phone call, eager to hear their voice, desperate to listen for my words coming through their soul. 

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Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Part of the Whole

Posted on August 16, 2012 by

As I wake up I hear the rhythmic tick of the sprinkler outside my window.  The coffee drips in time to the clock, and although the house is quiet, my brain jumps wide awake.

It’s not official yet – summer really still has four more days before I should be mourning the end of long nights spent wrapped around a novel, mornings lingering over another coffee with cream, and being alone.

But I’m part of something.  I contribute to a system, a group, a team of people who cares beyond measure about children.  We get up early, we plan, we laugh, we smile, and we create a whole unit designed to pull each other up and out of ourselves.

The sprinkler subsides outside my window.  The coffee dwindles to the last drop, and my house begins to stir. My body must jump awake, engage, and prepare to take part.

They’re counting on me.

Who’s counting on you?

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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What I Want

Posted on July 26, 2012 by

Despite what you might think, I’m actually quite a homebody.  Whenever I travel I have certain requirements that I’ve learned really make the difference between a good trip and a disaster.  They’re not too much to keep me from experiencing the local culture, but they sure make life a lot easier when I’m trying to navigate a new culture, language, customs and country.

One of them is coffee.  I’m on the island of Java, but the hotel rooms only serve instant java, which makes my stash of American grounds a godsend.  After teaching all morning in the humidity, I’ve also felt grateful for the Starbucks in the mall adjacent to the hotel.

Another is proper clothing.  I like to be comfortable and appropriately dressed, which made packing for teaching in a Muslim country challenging.  I’m expected to cover to the elbow, below the knee, and have a high neckline.  Yesterday I made a fashion faux-pas and was required to don the school’s version of gym shorts – a kind of pant outfit called a yama.  I think they’re mainly used for some sort of yoga.

Reluctantly, I’ll admit I like to be connected.  Coming back to my hotel after a long day and finding Facebook messages and blog comments makes me feel like I’m not out here all alone, and the beauty of Skype and FaceTime has allowed me to see my children and keep me grounded.

Indonesia is a beautiful country, rich with traditions and hospitable people.  I’m not afraid to know what I want – and to ask for it. I think knowing what we need to be happy is important – and if it helps us experience the richness of another culture, all the better.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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The Questions You Ask

Posted on July 18, 2012 by

Most of us are taught that “there is no such thing a stupid question.” We are told to “raise our hands to answer a question” and even “question authority.”

Our young children ask us “Why is the sky blue?” And as we age, we wonder “What is the meaning of life?”

Sometimes we ask questions without really wanting to know the answer.

Often I think of the question after the opportunity is lost.

As I’m preparing for this Indonesian adventure I feel like I’m lost in between the child and the adult – knowing I need to ask the right question, but so bewildered I cannot form it. The child in me wants to have answers to everything; what will I eat? Will I be safe? How will I talk to my kids? Will I have everything I need?

The adult knows so much of it will have to play out on its own; the experience will be what I make of it.

The child in me wants to know the who, what, when, where and why…the adult in me doesn’t want too much information to stir up my anxiety.

So I stop and consider the questions that are truly important:

What will I learn from this adventure?

How can I use this experience to better my family, my community and my world?

When I’m outside of my comfort zone, what will I draw on to have the courage to leap into the unknown?


I’ll let you know when the answers come to me.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Growing Slowly or Standing Still?

Posted on July 11, 2012 by

How many of us feel this way?

Teenagers, so desperate to be mature, try on new styles, trends, and personas in their attempts at growing up quickly.  Watching my middle school students evolve over the course of a school year crystallizes my belief that it’s all part of the process of life.

I remember one of my 8th grade students who was typically a nice, ‘normal’ type of kid- not a trouble maker, well liked,  quiet in class.  Over the course of a week he started acting out – being a bit disruptive, more aggressive, and walked with a bit of swagger.  My teaching partner and I started noticing and became concerned.  When we approached him, he smiled and said, “Oh, no worries – I’m just trying something new.”  And sure enough, after a few weeks he was back to his old self.

I wonder what happens to this urgency when we hit adulthood.  The desperation seems to be replaced with fear, the excitement with sadness, the hopefulness with complacency.  When adults ‘try something new’ we often are accused of having a mid-life crisis; it’s no wonder that so many retreat back into their old habits, more content with the familiar than the unknown.  Where is the creativity that so absolutely bursts out of a child, only to be smothered by so many logical plans in adulthood?  Does it get buried deep in our souls, or does it simply evaporate in our quest for the ‘American dream’?

But in those quiet minutes before we start each day, how many of us consider this: are we growing slowly or simply standing still?  Are we reaching deep for that lost self that intuitively knew to go out into the world and try?  Where is the tipping point where we dip our toe into an unfamiliar location, wade into a new experience, or dive into a new part of ourselves?  Are we really too old to grow?

Where are you today?  What are you afraid of?

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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