Tag: words

When I Stop Talking

Posted on September 5, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I’ve always been a pretty quiet person. I love the silence of the morning, the quiet only punctuated by the cawing of crows heading east towards the fields, the spurt of the coffee maker, and the rhythmic splat of the sprinkler as it sprinkles my garden before the sun comes up.

I love the quiet of reading books snuggled under a soft down comforter, the scratch of my pen on journal paper, and the hiss of the candle welcoming me into the daylight.

I never much enjoy talking on the phone, talking in groups or talking at parties. I think it’s odd that I chose a job where talking consumes so much of my day. I’ve been told that my teacher-talk is like a kindergarten teacher, explicitly outlining each step of a lesson and highlighting expectations. I explain that teaching middle school is just like teaching kindergarten. When I stop talking, they notice.

I enjoy talking with my children the most. The times when we’re driving in the car and they see something that reminds them of a story from school, or when I need to explain something very serious, or when we just giggle together are my absolute favorite. The way they talk as teens is so different from when they were little – in many ways, it seems like the stakes are much higher now. They need me to listen more now than ever. There is a shift going on – a time to carefully choose my words, softly encouraging them to listen.

When my children talk to me, they share little bits of their soul. Sometimes those bits are broken-off shards, sharp, piercing and painful. Other times they are soft, pillowy bits of fluff that slip from their mouth and bounce around the room.

Sometimes when they talk it is hard to hear them – especially when their words tumble out at warp speed, piling on top of each other like wooden blocks poised to crash to the ground. We stop, pause, and take our turns at being heard.

Their words matter to me. When I listen to their young voices I hear my hope for their future. I hear their curiosity about the world, and their questioning human morality. When I listen to their words I see their children speaking, years from now, asking for their wisdom. I hear their minds whirr as they process what they see and who they have heard. I hear myself in their words.

I know the quiet is coming soon. They will be gone, moving into their lives and exploring the world more quickly than I would like. They will use their voices to share, teach, and understand. They will deepen and stretch and take in so much more than I can imagine, more than I could ever tell them. I will hunger for those car rides and late night conversations when I had their attention, when I could teach them what I thought they should know. And when those days come, I will drop everything for their phone call, eager to hear their voice, desperate to listen for my words coming through their soul.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Communication Breakdown

Posted on May 25, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

It’s funny how differently people communicate. Some think that because they talk, they are communicating. Others think that if they listen, they are communicating. Taking notes-is that communicating? So is body language-do we count that?

When I’m teaching, I’m communicating. My students have silent and not-so-silent forms of communication. Boys communicate differently from girls, and men from women. Do animals communicate? People of different cultures have modes of communication that are sometimes difficult for outsiders to understand. Writing is a form of communicating, too, and probably my most comfortable mode.

I start the year teaching about precision of language, and how problematic it can be when we are careless with language and use incorrect and powerful words. When I’m teaching my students literary analysis, I hammer the idea of justification-that whatever claim they are trying to make, they need to back it up with proof from the text. When we work on argumentative writing, we try to not only consider our beliefs, but also try to predict a counterargument. Narrative writing needs to communicate visual ideas and sensory

details.

The problem I’m noticing lately is when adults try to communicate only through words, and they either have little command of language, or are sloppy at it. Some adults prefer email to face-to-face encounters, and would rather write out their feelings and opinions than talk on the phone. In meetings, some use language to communicate verbally, others try to write it all down as it is spoken, and leave the interpretation for later. In watching this, I’m realizing that these modes are all problematic.

The poor writer chooses the wrong word and is misunderstood. The emailer loses the ability to show emotion and body language. The talkers spend so much time hearing their own voice that they cannot hear anyone else, and the note takers risk having slow fingers that only catch part of the truth, and leave the rest open for interpretation.

For me, it all kind of comes back to justification and precision. If we think, then write, we need to back up our assertions. This isn’t to say that we all need to create lawyer-like arguments for our thoughts, but we need to think it through before it comes out of our mouth or onto a paper. We need to consider our language, and the power of our words to motivate, measure, or make misery. We need to choose what we say, when we say it, and how we say it with thoughts of the recipient. To do any less opens the door for heartbreak, heartache, and misunderstandings. I know this is a tall order-thinking before I speak is something I have to make a conscious effort towards daily. It’s not easy, but it is getting easier.

I can only imagine how much better my world would be if more people took the time to communicate. Isn’t it worth a try?

Jennifer Wolfe

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It’s All In How You Say It

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I believe that most people don’t obsess about language as much as an English teacher does. It’s our curse. We can’t overlook a misplaced apostrophe, an incorrectly spelled word, or a dangling modifier. English teachers know language, and we have radar to catch those who abuse it.

It’s all really for a good cause. Language experts are all about communication. Using the written word to convey our thoughts, opinions, emotions and information is our forte. And when it’s misused – watch out. You’re no match for us.

Surprisingly, I don’t have a problem with ‘net speak’. My students use it as they do any other second language, and they know when to switch back and forth. And if they forget, well, I surely remind them.

What really gets me going, though, is poor word choice. It’s laziness, simplicity and thoughtlessness combined. Word choice really ruined my week. I had an unfortunate encounter with a word that no educator wants to have in the same sentence with his or her name: layoff. Use of this word in schools from now through March 15 is sure to create high anxiety and low productivity, which is exactly what happened to me.

I received an email indicating that I would be ‘bumped’ in lieu of a potential ‘layoff’ and I had 48 hours to respond. End of email.

Now, communicating by email is a dangerous thing for those who are unable to express themselves well with the written language. Unlike handwritten letters, email has very little emotion or personality to help the recipient understand the nuances of the message. Word choice becomes critical, and unfortunately this week, word choice was just plain….wrong.

When I read the words ‘bump’ and ‘layoff’ my heart dropped into my stomach. I have 10 years seniority in my district and could not imagine what this meant. Twenty-one years of teaching and I’m still worrying about a layoff? This was definitely not the message I wanted to receive at the end of a long school day, but there it was.

I pulled my jaw shut and started to process. I went back into my head and began to spin all sorts of scenarios about what might be going on and how I would react. In other words, I panicked. Layoff is not a good word.

After lengthy discussions with colleagues, friends, the assistant superintendent, and a night spent tossing and turning, another email provided clarification came that ‘layoff’ was the wrong word choice. ‘Bump’ was correct, ‘layoff’ was not. ‘Bump’ isn’t ideal, but it’s sure better than ‘layoff’. One wrong word choice, and my day and night flipped into a tailspin.

Precision of language may be a curse of the English teacher, but there’s a good reason. Words have power. They can bring elation and devastation. They can show emotion and action. Words well chosen and precise give us the ability to communicate at a high level, and words chosen thoughtlessly and carelessly can bring us to the lowest depths of all.

The next time you’re typing an email or texting someone, remember: it’s all in how you say it.

Jennifer Wolfe

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Why I Write

Posted on October 21, 2011 by Jennifer Wolfe

Words allow my unspoken and uncertain thoughts to come to life without having to use my quiet voice, and gives me time to think before I speak.

Today is The National Day on Writing- a great day to celebrate our favorite writers, and to thank a teacher (in person or in spirit) who encouraged, inspired, or taught you about writing.

Thank you, Mr. Carey. It is because of your kind humor, your compassion, and your understanding of ‘quiet Jenny’ that inspired me to become an English teacher, and has given me the courage to share my voice with the world. I miss you your presence, but your spirit lives on in me every day.

For more on why writers write, please visit http://www.ncte.org/dayonwriting/testimonials.

Jennifer Wolfe

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