Tag: change

Cusp of Change: Those We Love Most

Posted on June 5, 2013 by

cusp

“Her life now hovered on the cusp of change…at this precise intersection in time, contemplating both distant memories and the uncertainty of the future, she knew she was standing on the lip between past and future. she had not yet taken a step forward into her new unwritten life.”

Lee Woodruff, Those We Love Most

She stands on the cusp of womanhood, her body and mind blossoming in unison. Only seventeen, the future spills before her with temptation. Choices abound, crashing through her day as she contemplates which class to take, which test to cram for and scrolls through glossy promises of college after college, holding her future in their hands. On her bedroom floor, littered with hastily scribbled to-do lists, fading birthday streamers and balloons nearly deflated, neat piles of laundry await, compromises about what to carry away to six weeks of summer ski camp in one not-so-gigantic bag. I can still see her childhood smiling back at me as she packs.

He bounds into the room, red faced and sweaty, backpack full of treasures discovered in a neighbors’ ‘free’ pile down the street. Deserted childhood bowling trophies, a half-filled helium tank, a roll of unopened masking tape and someone’s discarded Sacramento Rivercats handkerchief now strewn across the baby blue carpet of his bedroom. He is thirteen, teetering between that round-faced little boy I toted on my hip and that suave seventh-grader gently holding hands with his girl after school. He towers above me now. It’s his time to sample life, taking n taste after taste of all the world has before him. One class after another, new sports, new friends. A decision about a ski academy, the move-in date etched in our minds. Moving away before I’m ready. I grin as he gulps down his favorite dinner, and push myself back into his childhood.

I’m riding the line, straddling the fast lane. Since when did the teeter-totter weigh less on my end? Motherhood, once so physically exhausting, has now shifted its pressure. My mind tethers me to the past and drags me into the future. I write, I teach, I parent, I love, forever remembering who I am first and wondering how long that will last. We push ourselves to travel, to meet new people and speak their language. I strain for their hands, hoping to catch a finger before they soar off in another direction.

We hover on the cusp of change, dipping our toes into the unknown waters and in that precise moment, contemplate our next step. We ride the ebb and flow of life, sometimes skittering to the safety of shore, occasionally squeezing our eyes shut and diving into the wave. The future lies before us like a foggy horizon, and we, cautiously, carefully, often blindly, scan the horizon, searching for the lighthouse.

This post was inspired by the novel Those We Love Most by Lee Woodruff. Every family has its secrets and deceptions, but they come to surface a tragic accident changes the family dynamic forever.. Join From Left to Write on June 6 as we discuss Those We Love Most. You can also enter to win a live video chat with Lee Woodruff! As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Use this link to enter to win a live video chat with author Lee Woodruff.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYelp

On the Corner of Dream Ave. and Believe St.: Stepping Out Of Our Comfort Zone

Posted on February 20, 2013 by

“To the degree we’re not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control over us than we have over ourselves.”

                             ~ Peter McWilliams

comfort zone

From angelvillanueva.com

What is on the other side of change?  How often, when we find ourselves happily cruising down the  road of life, do we stop and think about what’s next? The superstitious among us might not want to jinx a good thing-why think about what might be around the next bend? Why not just keep on chugging forward? Don’t rock the boat? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, right?

I’m wondering if maybe it actually is.

As Peter McWilliams, author of Do It! Let’s Get Off Our Buts and Life 101: Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life in School—But Didn’t says, if we really want to live our dreams, perhaps we should think what’s just beyond the horizon or around the corner. Pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone means a momentary loss of control-scary for some of us, exhilarating for others.

Living in our comfort zone is safe.  We know what to expect, and we often feel guaranteed of the outcome.  That is, well, comforting.  Whether it’s the salary we earn from a job we don’t feel passionate about, or a relationship we are used to, a weight we feel is ok, or a dream we think we’ll never achieve, staying put is only a guarantee that the part of life that is comfortable will likely stay the same.

But is that living our dreams? Are we simply designed to be content, with only the renegades among us willing to take a risk?

12 7 iNDONESIA TRIP 110Last summer, I traveled to Indonesia-a place I never considered as part of my life travel itinerary. That experience propelled me to take dozens of risks, including getting incredibly cozy with a Komodo dragon. I remember the palpitation of my heart, the baby steps I took, first touching the back, the tail, and them finally getting close enough to his face to brush my lips to his scales.  Recently, the Jakarta Globe’s story of a Komodo attack that left two people in the hospital prompted discussion among our travel group: were we courageous, or simply stupid?  I say, courageous.

I think of the pioneer women who traveled across the west without any clue of what lay before them. They stuffed their wagons full of all the comforts of life, sure that their china, linens, furniture and even their beloved piano would not only safely make the trip, but also provide the much desired civilization they left behind.  Leaving their comfort zone often meant following their husband’s dreams, not their own. But they went anyway, knowing they might never go back. I’m sure komodo dragons weren’t on their worry radar, but undoubtedly the fear of the unknown, the fear for their children, and their second guessing of their decision as they huddled over a campfire for the hundredth time must have seriously tested their strength.

The curveballs life throws today’s women is similar.  Many of us follow expected gender roles, marry, have children, and put our careers second to raising the family.  Others forgo the traditional route, choosing instead to follow their dream job at the expense of what our mother’s generation could barely fathom.  Still other women try to balance both, exhausting themselves between juggling babies, bosses and never feeling wholly present in both worlds. Like the pioneer women, we ruminate over our choices, wondering if we’re on the right path.

Stepping out of our comfort zone, regardless of our social, marital or work status, requires a leap of faith; sure that our future can be more than this, that our life is ours to create.  It requires courage, determination, and often, a bit of impracticality.  Taking calculated risks that push us towards our boundaries, to find out what is on the other side of change, is scary.  Like a rocket shooting off into the darkness of the universe, sometimes we must trust that the plans have been laid, but the process might bow,flex and bend us into places we least expected to land.

Power-shift

Power-shift (Photo credit: Brett Jordan)

With all our feminist advances, women today have no guidebook to navigate motherhood, marriage and the myriad of opportunities in front of us. I say that’s a good thing.

Consider that your comfort zone is perfect for where you’ve been and where you are right now. Consider going at your own pace, placing opportunities in front of you like a master chess player, sometimes hoping that the risky move won’t be noticed by the opponent and will propel you to the win.  Prepare for the setback, the capture, and the ultimate possibility that the grass really is greener on the other side. Think of the words author Neale Donald Walsch wrote, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Where do you want your life to begin tomorrow?

What are you waiting for? Where do you want to go in life? What have you got to lose?

Take that leap.  Step outside yourself. Take control of your dreams. Experience a little discomfort-it means that life is happening.

Let me know what changes.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYelp

reading with mamawolfe: Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster

Posted on January 31, 2013 by

Sometimes we all need a break from the rough and tumble reality we call life.  Sometimes we just need to stop, slide into position, and crack the spine of a good book.  Sometimes, escaping reality into someone else’s life just makes ours seem…much more bearable.

When Jen Lancaster’s new novel Here I Go Again arrived, just one look at the lime green cover made me smile.  I could tell this book was going to be fun…and I was right! Just like an umbrella-adorned cocktail sipped poolside, Jen’s novel went down easily-just what I needed before grading stacks of essays, evaluating book projects, and turning in semester grades.  I needed something easy to digest, pretty to look at, and, sigh, not too heady.

Here I Go Again shares the story of Lissy Ryder, beginning at her 20 year high school reunion. As she faces the reality she has created for herself, she begins to obsess with her shallow, divorced, out of shape and rock bottom self, and in a Back to the Future like time-travel event, manages to return to her teenage years to ‘reset’ her life. I know, it sounds a bit hokey, but it was entertaining-who hasn’t wanted to do that?

Back to the Future

Back to the Future (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At first, I thought the story had taken a dive and nearly stopped reading.  But Jen Lancaster’s clever writing, witty language and comforting references to all things early 90s kept me hooked.  I began to care about what happened to this pathetic creature!  I certainly I knew girls like her in high school-the quintessential “mean girl”, the popular, pretty, never-without-a-date blonde cheerleader type.  The kind of girl that, like Lissy, comes back to high school reunions full of faded glory.  But somehow, I slid into the story like looking into an old yearbook, each page reminding me of how happy I was to graduate and leave the world of cliques, dating and drama behind.

Here I Go Again tackles the dark side of high school, where each of us struggles to find ourselves in the face of what can seem to be overwhelming daily critiques of our every move.   As Lissy says to kids today, “ Save your budding individuality for college…stay with the herd!  The herd’s way safer than being out there all by your lonesome with your pink hair and nose ring! Eccentricity is great…but wait until you graduate.”  Having been one of those outside the herd, I think she makes a point, but also misses one: being eccentric develops character, something she ultimately learns the hard way.  Lancaster’s deft writing allows adult readers to wince in remembrance as well as sit with confidence that not only can we survive the trials in life, but come out exactly where we’re supposed to be.

Lissy’s desire to take a deep look at herself, the choices she made, and how each of our actions has a domino effect on those in our lives, sends a sweet message: we are all connected, and what we do matters.  And as the liner notes say, “Karma is the only bitch bigger than she is.”

Jen Lancaster’s novel, Here I Go Again, is definitely worth reading.  It’s a good reminder that what goes around, comes around, and we only go around once.  Make it worthwhile.

Would you like to read more about Here I Go Again? Please join our online discussion at BlogHer Book Club!

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYelp

Education Reform: Three Ideas for the Next Four Years

Posted on January 9, 2013 by

ID-10076117There is no doubt in my mind: the American education system is in deep trouble and needs reform.  According to a recently published report of the world’s best education systems by the education firm, Pearson, the US ranked 17th of 40 developed countries.  Finland and South Korea, leading the study, received high rankings because they “tend to offer teachers higher status in society and have a “culture” of education.”

As a 22-year veteran California teacher, I live this every day.  In recent years, I have witnessed the decline in the culture of education in my community as well as nationwide.  While some might think funding is the root of all problems, I have some other ideas about how we can start to tackle education reform in America:

  1.  Put students first.  We need to start every discussion around the concept of what students need, not what the district needs, the state needs, or the federal government needs.  Students are our clientele, and we need to make decisions as if we were creating reform for our own children.  Thinking about kids first, and creating reform that is best for educating, nurturing and protecting ALL students is the first step.
  2. Create opportunities for student engagement.  America needs to reform our thinking about the primary purpose of schools: is it to churn out a citizen who is proficient at bubbling in answers on a test, or to develop creative, innovative, collaborative citizens?  By prioritizing the arts, humanities, and sciences equally, we allow children opportunities to learn in a variety of disciplines.  Honoring student exploration and discovery alongside standards will help develop confident, creative adults who can tackle the global issues facing their generation.
  3. Invest in teacher training.  Like any profession, teachers need relevant, high quality training to move forward.  America needs to support teachers by providing professional development as part of a teacher’s contract, with time to implement and refine throughout the school year.  Training that is focused on student-centered strategies, led by qualified educators with like-minded goals, will strengthen our workforce and help bring American schools back to the top of the world’s education systems.

So what can we do?  Do we sit back and watch our systems disintegrate, watch quality teachers leave the profession, and see our students stifled, bored, and falling behind? I think not. Now is the time to let your voice be heard. Stand up for education reform – our children deserve it.

*image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYelp

47

Posted on December 9, 2012 by

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln
My Indonesian ‘dress cut’ experience

I took this seriously last year; breathing some life into areas that have been dormant, neglected, or otherwise overlooked.  Another year of happiness, laughter and lessons learned – here are some of my favorites:

Go big.

This year was really about trying something new-all the time.  I forced myself in directions I never knew I was interested in or qualified for.  I wrote-a lot.  I threw it all out there and watched where it landed, pushed a few pieces into place, and found some that had gone missing.  I learned that going big is often scary, but always worth it.

Let go.
My kids officially grew taller than me this year.  It actually was a humbling experience when my baby boy passed me up.  Watching my daughter drive away from me for the first time chipped a piece off my heart, reminding me  I had to let go and trust that everything has a way of working itself out.  I released some habits and situations that weren’t working for me, looking for more positive instead of negative.  I learned that letting go is growing forward.
Work hard.
I surely did that this year.  I pushed for my best and tried not to repeat what wasn’t working for me.  I showed up.  I tried.  I learned that working hard is exhausting, but creates energy in the right places.
Be humble.
I went places this year that I never imagined I would.  I felt outnumbered, out of place, and out of control.  I remember the calls to prayer, the fears, and the deep sense of respect at how small a world we live in, yet what a large part I can play.  I learned that being humble can bring safety and comfort, and that relinquishing control can reveal a whole new perspective.

Say no.
Learning to stand up for ourselves can take a lifetime.  Watching bullying, in our community, our country, and our world gave me the power to practice saying no.  Daily, I listened to one of my college interns call out ‘Make good choices’ to my students as they exited my classroom door, and tried to do the same.  I learned that saying no allows me to say yes when I want to, and that going with my gut is usually takes me in the right direction.
Be grateful.
Obama’s elementary school in Jakarta

I saw people and places this year that shattered my heart and made me fearful for our future.  I met people who lifted me up, taught me about hope, and reminded me to make peace with what I have, where I am, and who I’m with.  This year, I learned that blessings come in a multitude of ways, and that happiness and gratitude hold hands.

As I end 47 and open the chapter of 48, I think of all that I’ve experienced:  the children, parenting, family, teaching, education, memories and motherhood that blended themselves together and brought such lessons to me.  Typing this, I’m reminded of all that I hold close, and all that is yet to come.  I’m happy about 47, and watch out 48- I’ve got big ideas waiting to throw at you.  This is definitely not the time to feel old!

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle PlusYelp