Tag: change

A Year of Change and Possibilities: January, February, March, April 2014

Posted on December 28, 2014 by

Lily and Cameron racing at Sugar Bowl, January 2014

Lily and Cameron racing at Sugar Bowl, January 2014

The year started with fireworks in the snow. Ski racing was front and center for Lily and Cameron, and me, by default.

Cam at Sugar Bowl Academy

Cam at Sugar Bowl Academy

College acceptance letters started!

College acceptance letters started!

I struggled with changing perspective in motherhood as Cameron moved to Sugar Bowl Ski Academy, and Lily received college acceptance letters.

On our way to Salt Lake City, Utah, for our last two college visits.

On our way to Salt Lake City, Utah, for our last two college visits.

Lily and I took our last college exploration adventure before her big decision.

And, I did a bit of writing, too. Some of my favorite posts were:

Thanks, Coach, For The Life Lessons

I Thought I Knew What Was Best For My Kid, But He Had Other Ideas

At This Moment, She’s Right Where She Needs To Be

Live A Life of Amazement

I had no idea that these moments, these bits of time and change and glimmers of possibilities, were only the beginning of the upheaval to come in 2014….more to come in my next post.

primark

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Friday Photo: Things We Cannot Change

Posted on November 7, 2014 by

Sunset over UC Davis

Sunset over UC Davis

I like to walk, especially in the early mornings or early evenings. I try to change it up, to not take the same path every day. Usually I bring my little 16-pounds-of-fury with me for company, but this week he decided to take a vacay with grandma so it’s just me. Alone.

Sometimes my kids walk with me. Used to walk with me, I should say. Now, with one in college and one with a broken leg, I’m usually on my own. It’s ok, though – for me, walking is meditation. Time to clear the monkey mind that’s developed after a day of teaching and simply get back to center. Alone.

Often I walk onto campus to see what’s going on. It kinda is like I never left college – I love seeing the towering buildings with kids spilling in and out. I wonder what they’ve read the night before, and how the professor will excite their brains. I smile when I see a crowd waiting for a midterm to begin, blue books or scantrons in hand. I remember that anxiety well.

Last night I walked with a teacher-mom friend, a woman just like me, going through the changes of a child in college and a teenager at home. We talked about the emptiness of a house with only one left, and how sad and lonely and strange it sometimes feels to be at home now. Alone.

Some things we cannot change. Some things we just need to trust are working out exactly as they are supposed to, even when they don’t feel that way in the moment. Some things, I know, the Universe has put in front of me for a very good reason, requiring me to pause, and think, and feel, and take a very long walk. Alone.

p.s. – Have you read my other Friday Photo essays? You might like the ones I wrote about harvest, beacons, and the world out my window.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Past and Present

Posted on June 27, 2014 by

L and C, past and present

There was a day, not so long ago. It was a warm, sunny day, full of expectation and hope. It felt like the start of something special.

She dressed that day not to impress, but to reflect her personality. First impressions count. She willfully chose a powder blue sundress, daisies embroidered on the bodice, tied in the back. It skimmed her knees. Her only adornment, a red friendship bracelet, stayed knotted around her little wrist. She tied her hair in her favorite ‘half-up/half-down’ style, slung her stiff new backpack over her bony shoulders for the first time, and walked out the door.

They wore matching shoes at the time, clunky brown sandals with huge,thick-treaded soles perfect for running and climbing in the hot valley September weather. He wanted everything to be like her; he looked up to his big sister in every way imaginable. She was everything. Squirming, he allowed me to dress him – unusual for his two-year-old sense of style. Generally he preferred the least amount of clothing possible. Anything with a dog on it would do, so we slipped the soft red long sleeve t-shirt over his rather large head, tugged elastic shorts around his waist and Velcroed his sandals tight enough to chase after sister. I inhaled his soft golden brown hair as he dashed out the front door.

There was a day, not so long ago, but 4,000 days after the first.  It was a warm, sunny day, full of expectation and hope. It felt like the end of something special, and the start of something unknown.

She dressed that day alone in her room, Pandora softly playing from her phone. I think she did her hair first; minutes clicked by as she wound her long, golden brown strands around the hot iron. Ringlets fell in place, not quite half-up, half-down. She slipped her favorite sundress over her strong, muscular shoulders – it skimmed her knees, and clasped her sterling silver “L” around her neck. I think there was a bit of black mascara highlighting her bright blue eyes. Leather and yarn bracelets from friends around the world dangle from her little wrist. Her brown leather flip-flops softly slapped the wood floors as she grabbed her backpack and ran for the door.

“Wait,” I shouted. This is really happening.

He stumbled out the door behind her, his curly, golden brown hair damp under his Detroit Tigers hat. Dark blue POC t-shirt, black athletic shorts and barefoot cover his long, lanky body as if an afterthought – or whatever was clean. His brown eyes sparkled as he grabbed her hand. She looks down at him now, I thought. When did he get so huge? Her arm tilted up as she hugged him. They smiled. “Hurry up,” she moaned. “My ride will be here any second.” I snapped as quickly as I could through the tears. This is really happening. This moment, this strange and simultaneous replay and fast forward of time is really happening.

And just like that, she was gone.

Dear readers, how has the past and present juxtaposed in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

This post was inspired the prompt ‘past and present’ found on writealm.com . #writealm @writealm

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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A Leap of Faith

Posted on March 11, 2014 by

I don’t know if it’s just that time of the year that I’m feeling particularly vulnerable – maybe it’s more that time of life, that middle space where what always seemed so probable and certain has suddenly shifted. I’m feeling all at once teetering between so many worlds, so many lives, that every time I plant my feet down they sink, just the slightest bit – but not in a solid, comforting kind of way. In kind of a tenuous kind of way; that shifting of the sands of time that have always, always left me feeling hesitant towards change.

And everywhere I turn, the universe seems to be whispering to me. “Take a leap of faith, dear” swirls around my head in gossamer thin threads, taunting me to listen. It sings to me as I watch my daughter open college acceptance letters, and when she smiles, I know it’s time. It calls to me when I reunite with my son, after many days apart, and when he hugs me in his awkward teenage way, I know it’s near. I feel the vibration of change, that rhythmic sort of shudder that starts in my core and travels up my spine to rest in my head-where I promptly brush it off, dreaming for just one second that life will stay the same.

But I know that’s impossible.

This is the time of life when a leap of faith is the only available form of transportation. It’s the time to dream, to imagine, and to believe in possibility. It’s the time to run, skip, jump…to believe in what was meant to be, and to trust that what I open my heart and mind to will manifest.

It’s time to take a giant leap of faith, and hope for a soft landing.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Longing

Posted on January 30, 2014 by

Donner Lake morning

The moment was gone

that instant when I knew it would all change for the time being,

the moment when my insides shifted from content

to chaotic.

The anxiousness of separation

and the knowing that really,

everything was fine.

It’s instinctual, I tell myself.

That yearning to know what you’re doing

where you are

if you’re warm and safe and happy.

An instant of joy when you remember

and then

I wait, and wonder

Longing

 

January prompt-a-day from write alm – today’s prompt is longing

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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