Tag: Indonesia

On Blogging, Friendships, and Seizing the Opportunity

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Jennifer Wolfe

Essential oil altar in Tangerang, Indonesia

Last July I wrote a post about turning your dreams into realities. That was right before I set off on my trip to Indonesia, which brought some of my dreams about world travel to life.

Traveling to Indonesia per se wasn’t one of my dreams; rather, it was the embodiment of pushing myself forward into the universe and seizing opportunities that presented themselves to me. When I applied for and received the US Dept. of Education grant to study global education, teaching in a Muslim country was not on my radar. But as the chance to travel to a country I’ve never visited, and likely wouldn’t have chosen on my own, presented itself, I jumped in. I didn’t look for excuses not to, or reasons why I couldn’t go. I just did it.

Inside an Indonesian market

I started my blog in much the same way. Just decided to do it and began sharing my stories, thoughts, and life lessons through my words. I never thought much about blogging before that, but when the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed it.

I got hooked. Life hasn’t been the same since.

Blogging turned into a creative outlet, a launching pad for my dreams, and a platform to meet people all over the world. For an introvert like me, blogging created relationships with women I now can call friends.

Two of those women, Val and Kathy created a website, Bonbon Break, designed to provide a space to share their thoughts, wisdom, humor and ideas with like-minded women. When Kathy contacted me to be one of the first featured writers, I was thrilled to accept. Since then, we’ve grown our friendships and our websites and pushed ourselves forward.

bonbonbreaklogo200

This week I’ve written an original piece for BonBon Break, “Writing Well and the Readers Will Follow“. I hope you’ll jump over and take a look.

You never know what might be waiting there for you that you never imagined!

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Always in Season

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

I always have a bit of a holiday let down. December is a big month for me: the start of ski season, my birthday, and of course, Christmas. Add in teaching junior high during this month full of expectation, and by the time Dec. 31 rolls around, I’m done.

In other words, I’m not a big New Year’s Eve fan.

I think the last time I actually went to a big New Year’s Eve party was in 1995 when I was pregnant with my first child.

I remember the millenium, taking down the Christmas decorations while the news blasted from my 9-inch black and white tv. I remember it well. Then, I had a three-year-old daughter AND a three-month old son. Fun times.

Needless to say, this New Year’s Eve I don’t anticipate much action, other than dinner with my now thirteen-year-old son, some quiet reflection time, maybe a cold beer, and, of course, some writing.

What I’ve also learned this year is that if I flip the holidays around, they don’t have to bring me down. In fact, I’ve learned that a few things about the holidays never go out of season, they instead are cultivated all year long:

Holiday Spirit

This year we simplified the holidays. We cut back to the most important and meaningful traditions, and enjoyed the spirit behind the season. My daughter noted that there wasn’t a day when we didn’t have holiday music playing in the background. We didn’t miss a chance to sing along with “Feliz Navidad” or Taylor Swift’s “Sounds of the Season”. I learned that holiday spirit alive doesn’t mean leaving up the Christmas tree until spring; rather, embracing the simple, the fun, and the merry all year long is the route to happiness.

Getting Back to Roots

As a parent, I feel obligated to put my children first. Always. The holiday season cements these feelings – isn’t Christmas ‘for the kids’ anyways? No, I don’t consider myself a martyr, but rather, I see parenting as a huge commitment. And in order to do it ‘right’, I need to take it seriously. However, in 2012, I realized that I can take myself seriously, too. I’ve wanted to write professionally since I can remember. I studied English during college, and once I graduated, my writing stayed hidden inside journals. This year I learned that getting back to my roots meant taking a chance and being vulnerable. Last year, writing brought passion back to my life, along with courage, happiness, sadness, and stories, too.

Generosity

This year I adored watching my children plan and purchase their gifts for others. With the innocence of children, they worked hard to find just the right gift for just the right person. Listening to them exclaim that they ‘cannot wait for me to open it’ made my heart beam. And despite all the tragedy of Sandy Hook, we learned that we can pay it forward. As my son and I participated in #26Acts, he declared it ‘awesome-just like a treasure hunt’ except in reverse. We didn’t finish all 26 by Christmas, but that’s more than ok; as we give freely in 2013, we hope others will be inspired to freely give.

Good Friends

I actually didn’t attend one holiday party this year. I prefer to keep it quiet, keep it simple, and keep it at home. So much of our lives is spent out in public that for me, the holiday season is a perfect time to spend with family. That’s not to say that good friends aren’t part of our equation, but simply, in a different, more personal way. I still send Christmas cards, and rejoice with each envelope that comes through our mailbox. In 2012 my list of friends grew in ways I could never have predicted; I met teachers from all over the country, new friends in Indonesia, and grew to know writers online from around the world. Good friends aren’t just honored during the holidays, they are nurtured all year long.

So I wish you all a happy and healthy 2013, the comfort of family and friends, and the courage to do what you never thought you could.

I’ll drink to that!

Jennifer Wolfe

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47

Posted on December 9, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”

– Abraham Lincoln

My Indonesian ‘dress cut’ experience

I took this seriously last year; breathing some life into areas that have been dormant, neglected, or otherwise overlooked. Another year of happiness, laughter and lessons learned – here are some of my favorites:

Go big.

This year was really about trying something new-all the time. I forced myself in directions I never knew I was interested in or qualified for. I wrote-a lot. I threw it all out there and watched where it landed, pushed a few pieces into place, and found some that had gone missing. I learned that going big is often scary, but always worth it.

Let go.

My kids officially grew taller than me this year. It actually was a humbling experience when my baby boy passed me up. Watching my daughter drive away from me for the first time chipped a piece off my heart, reminding me I had to let go and trust that everything has a way of working itself out. I released some habits and situations that weren’t working for me, looking for more positive instead of negative. I learned that letting go is growing forward.

Work hard.

I surely did that this year. I pushed for my best and tried not to repeat what wasn’t working for me. I showed up. I tried. I learned that working hard is exhausting, but creates energy in the right places.

Be humble.

I went places this year that I never imagined I would. I felt outnumbered, out of place, and out of control. I remember the calls to prayer, the fears, and the deep sense of respect at how small a world we live in, yet what a large part I can play. I learned that being humble can bring safety and comfort, and that relinquishing control can reveal a whole new perspective.

Say no.

Learning to stand up for ourselves can take a lifetime. Watching bullying, in our community, our country, and our world gave me the power to practice saying no. Daily, I listened to one of my college interns call out ‘Make good choices’ to my students as they exited my classroom door, and tried to do the same. I learned that saying no allows me to say yes when I want to, and that going with my gut is usually takes me in the right direction.

Be grateful.

Obama’s elementary school in Jakarta

I saw people and places this year that shattered my heart and made me fearful for our future. I met people who lifted me up, taught me about hope, and reminded me to make peace with what I have, where I am, and who I’m with. This year, I learned that blessings come in a multitude of ways, and that happiness and gratitude hold hands.

As I end 47 and open the chapter of 48, I think of all that I’ve experienced: the children, parenting, family, teaching, education, memories and motherhood that blended themselves together and brought such lessons to me. Typing this, I’m reminded of all that I hold close, and all that is yet to come. I’m happy about 47, and watch out 48- I’ve got big ideas waiting to throw at you. This is definitely not the time to feel old!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Dear Family, Love J

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

Dear Family,

Last night, as we slumped around the table, bellies full and wine glasses empty, I took my turn and shared two words of gratitude. Surprised, you asked if that was all. The truth is, it wasn’t, but at the time, those were the only words I could say out loud. Now, hours later in the light of day, I have the rest.

I am grateful for the dawn over the Sierras inching up, pale pink to my left, golden yellow to my right, unveiling my angels sleeping in the back seat.

I am grateful for the dark roast with cream warming next to me as I type, helping me greet every morning with a smile.

I am grateful for the new and the old, the memories that push me forward into the future and those that ground me in the past.

I am grateful for air conditioning, Bintang beer and chocolate-center Cotton Buns. You saw me through some challenging times last summer.

I am grateful for friends I’ve made and lost, friends I’ve seen and those I have only thought of. You may not know it, but I listen to you and learn more about myself from your presence.

I’m grateful for curiosity, challenge and conflict. From them, I grow into a better human.

I’m grateful for brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, uncles and aunts, grandmothers and grandfathers. Your eyes help create my vision, even when they don’t see in the same direction.

I’m grateful for simplicity, complication, and everything in between. It always seems to come at just the wrong, yet just the right time.

I’m grateful for the 6,000,000-plus like-minded people who turned left, not right, and helped me see a future.

I’m grateful for the wind whistling through the trees. Some say it’s the spirit talking. I’m thankful I believe them.

I’m grateful for language. The words I write, the sounds I hear, and the letters I read teach me in a way I learn best.

I’m grateful for faith, wavering in and out, back and forth, between the sky, the spirits, and the universe. Sometimes, you’re all I’ve got.

I’m grateful for June 29, 1985. Our worlds collided then, and life has been a doozy ever since.

Now, I’m back to where I began. Two words. Two spirits. Two reasons to face each day, to walk the talk, to take a step forward when what I really want to do is stay right where I am. Because when the pink glow is gone, replaced by a blaze of red, or orange, or a blanket of black, those two words are all that matter.

And that, dear family, is what I’m grateful for.

Love,

Jennifer Wolfe

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Glimmers of Hope

Posted on November 12, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”

I always share this quote with my eighth and ninth grade students at the beginning of each school year. In August, they’re filled with promise, with messages of hope and faith from their parents, and confidence that this will be their year. That change will happen.

Progress grades after four weeks usually show improvement. They can commit to change, and are seeing results. They are starting to feel good. Their parents are proud.

Four more weeks go by. Tests, projects, essays, and life start to blur their focus. They’re not getting enough sleep, and it’s hard to see the end of the quarter. October is a hard month.

Eight weeks later, when quarter grades come out, their little balloons burst. Some have slipped back into old habits. Their calendars are sparse, their backpacks stuffed with paper, unfinished assignments, and smelly gym clothes. parents have begun to nag, panic, and in desperation, sometimes blame the teachers.

It’s my job to pick up the pieces. Rebuild their shattered hopes, and cheer them towards the finish line. You can do it! Look at your progress in the long run! You’ve come so far! Don’t let that one test/paper/homework/detention slow you down!

I often wonder what really holds kids back. Is it the fear of success? Are they more comfortable in that middle place of a “C” or “D” grade, when they’re still passing but no one puts too much pressure on them to be ‘perfect’? Is it a lack of trust that what teachers and adults are suggesting will really work? Or maybe it’s all a natural developmental phase; kids trying things their way, regrouping, and trying again?

Is school really getting that much harder? Or are we just approaching it differently? Are the stakes raised for kids, families, teachers, and colleges? What exactly are we expecting from our children?

Finding a balance for teachers and parents is tricky. We want to hold up high expectations, knowing that they have ‘potential’. We want them to strive to do better, work harder, and get into a ‘good’ college. We hire help – economics tutors, SAT prep, math courses, and whatever we can do to say we’ve done our best.

I always come back to the kid, and that intangible, unteachable asset that seems to mark those that make it through the bumps, hurdles, and hard times of middle school: intrinsic motivation. I saw it during my trip to Indonesia last summer – those kids wanted nothing more than to learn English and make it to the U.S. for college. They understood, “No Pain, No Gain” like many of my students cannot. They couldn’t afford tutors-they just had to work hard.

The bottom line is, the kid has to want it. They need to have a supportive base, caring people who will encourage and not accept responsibility for their actions. They need to have people who are firm, consistent, and unconditionally love them. They need to celebrate the small victories and regroup after the defeats. They need to see the glimmers of hope for their future – to see who and what they can be when, diploma in hand, they walk into adulthood.

Jennifer Wolfe

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