Wednesday Morning Musing On Mockingbirds, Motherhood, and Time

“There are two kinds of people in the world, observers and non-observers…”

I could sit here all day, window cracked, listening to the mockingbirds chatter to each other from across the treetops. It’s silent in our house for the moment – late start morning, and everyone’s still tucked into their beds. Safe. Relaxed. Quiet.

The sprinklers just finished misting the garden. Is that a baby hawk I hear? Oh, the coffee tastes like perfection today. Real cream makes all the difference, doesn’t it?

Cola’s wandering up and down the hall, tags jingling as his nails click on the hardwood floors. A dog barks outside-no response inside. Good. He barks too much, anyways. He’s busy surveying the scene – 16 pounds of fierce guard dog protection.

Doves coo. Why can’t I see you? Something is keeping you away from my garden; is anyone else awake to hear your gentle musings? The garbage truck breaks the silence with a piercing beep-beep-beep. Scooping up my garden discards; I really should be spending more time deadheading. Time. Please, stop for a minute-or forever.

It’s going to be 100 degrees today. Should I water the pots? The tender basil, just planted, needs attention. Better bring an ice chest to the track meet tonight. Grapes. Strawberries. Whatever my girl needs.

Yep, that’s definitely a baby hawk. But it couldn’t be in our tree – not nearly tall enough. Morning doves-who are you calling to? It’s going to be a busy day. Train whistle in the distance. Muted cacophany outside my window. Almost time to break this reverie and head into the real world. 8:00 meetings suck. Wednesday morning musings are so much more productive.

Pause to sip coffee. What if we could pause time right now?

Airplane overhead. That’s right – she’ll be on one soon. Gone for most of the summer,then gone for freshman year. Shiver. A car door opens and closes next door. Engine jumps to life. Wonder where college kids drive to this early in the morning? Maybe they’re driving home…I don’t want to go there. Not even close to ready to think about #reallifeofacollegestudent.

Baby hawk again. Stop to sip from my Steinbeck mug. I love Steinbeck. Those were great field trips we used to take. It’s been awhile since we went to Salinas and Monterey. I’m so glad we have our last mommy/daughter trip last weekend. It’ll be awhile before we’re alone like that again – #collegesucksformoms. Really, please don’t go. Stay here. Thanks for taking two AP tests last week, now don’t go. I was just kidding about turning your room into a craft room. I won’t let Cam bust out the wall to double his space. You don’t have room for all your ski gear in a dorm room anyways – #skierproblems. Where will you keep all your Spandex? It’s cold in Salt Lake City, you know.

Morning doves again. I hear you. Why can’t I just stay here all day? You’re both tucked in. Safe. Relaxed. Quiet. Mockingbird, stop. You’re making it hard to leave. It’s just Wednesday. It’s not time to celebrate.

Wait.

It is time. It keeps ticking. Can’t stop it, even though I said I would. But I can feel it.

Wednesday morning musings. Close the notebook.

One. more. sip. Stop. Savor. Breathe.

Oh…why does life have to change?

My Best Life, April 2014: Endings and Beginnings (jenniferwolfe.net)
Finding My Muse: Searching In Tahoe Snow and Pine Trees (jenniferwolfe.net)

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

A Rainy Day in the Bookstore

Most moms dream of a day like I’m having today. I’m on vacation, absolutely no obligations besides catching my flight home this evening. I slept in and woke without an alarm. I didn’t rush out of the motel room, instead I moved at my own pace. I downed several cups of coffee before I even got out of bed, slid into comfortable clothes, and headed out for the day in Salt Lake City.

Alone.

Attempting to avoid the rain, I found refuge in a bookstore. I browsed every stack with pleasure, not feeling like I needed to be anywhere or pick up anyone. Hours ticked by, the rain poured outside, and then it happened. That moment that knocked me out of my reverie, sent the tears to my eyes, and forced me to scramble for cover.

The children’s section.

When my babies were younger, we spent hours in bookstores. I found the brightly lit space lined with title after title so enticing, and so full of possibilities for their future. Weekly we would park the stroller to the side, bags of Goldfish crackers in hand; I loved the chance to snuggle up with them, choose a new book to look at, and hope their imaginations sparked and they would grow to love the comfort of books as much as I had.

My shelves at home still retain the evidence of our visits; I cannot bear to part with the Puppy Place, The Magic Treehouse, The Diary of A Wimpy Kid, Harry Potter, Nancy Drew and the escapades of Rick Riordan. To me, it never mattered what they read, simply that they were reading. When interest waned, I lovingly lined another space with their cherished titles, hanging on to the hope that someday they would pick one up again, call to me, and settle in for hours of dreams of their futures.

Those bookstores have closed now, and I must admit, my teens and I rarely spend time searching for dreams together amidst the stacks anymore. Sports, social lives and academics have replaced the stroller and sippy cups, and I find myself today, alone with my memories.

My children are growing up and away, spending their days in the snowrather than safely snuggling against their mother. College visits have replaced our family vacations, and the piercing reality of the end of our life under the same roof attacks in the most unexpected moments.

Like the rainy day I’m alone in the bookstore.

Jennifer Wolfe

My Best Life, March 2014: A Month of Anticipation

March was a month of anticipation; the wrap up of one ski season, the college acceptance letters, and the countdown until Cameron returns home from the ski academy. I struggled to stay in the present moment, to breathe deeply and know that everything will work out as it should. As we move into April, I feel the breath of possibilities whispering at the back of my neck. It should be an interesting month, to be sure!

My Best March:

Best Blog Reads:

I was fascinated with the idea of ‘grittiness’ this month; how do we cultivate grit in our children seems to be a hot topic for teachers and parents right now. Fittingly, Cameron’s ski academy school motto is “Grit, Grace and Courage” – what more could we ask for our kids? I loved this post from NPR titled “Does Teaching Kids To Get Gritty Help Them Get Ahead”, as well as this one from one of my favorite websites, Daily Good. Definitely worth a read.

Best Books:

I managed to get a bit of reading done this month between the anticipation of ski races and college tours in Salt Lake City. I really enjoyed What Would You Do If You Could Not Fail by Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons. These writers collected stories of courage from everyday people and put them together with quotes and ideas for the reader to really use in their lives. The theme of grit really got my interest, and made me think about why some people have the drive to persevere and others don’t.

The Divorce Papers by Susan Rieger was written in the form of letters, emails, and documents, telling the story of a marriage in collapse. I wasn’t sure how I’d like this format, but it turned out that the characters were well developed and the plot surprisingly easy to follow. It made me think that teaching middle school was really a dream job compared to being a divorce lawyer!

Finally, I just finished Holly Peterson’s new novel, The Idea of Him. It really made me think about how so often in life we think we know what we want or how it will all turn out, and usually, life has a way of surprising us. Holly is a Goodreads author – if you haven’t used Goodreads yet to track your books and reading, you should start! If you already do, please friend request me! I’d love to see what you’re reading, too.

Best Quiet Place:

A long time ago, when my children were small and very demanding, I decided I needed to find a quiet place close to home where I could escape when I needed to center myself. Over the years, the path running along Putah Creek in the UC Davis Arboretum has offered me great solace and joy. One of my favorite times to visit the Arboretum is when a storm is looming – I love the quietness, the animals taking cover, and the whisper of the wind blowing through the trees.

Best Photos:

A month of endings and beginnings…nothing fancy, just the fabulous moments of anticipation and reward in March:

Lily and Bob — Lily and her beloved high school ski coach

Lily Pole Vaulting 11 feet — Lily pole vaulting 11 feet, a new personal record

Lily and Mikaela Shiffrin — Lily and friends and Mikaela Shiffrin at Squaw Valley race.

Lily at Westminster College in Salt Lake City, Utah

Spring is coming! In the UC Davis Arboretum

Best Quotes:

When I look back at my Twitter #quoteoftheday postings, there seems to be a strong theme of openness to possibility and anticipation of what is yet to come. -I didn’t necessarily realize it at the time, but looking back, that’s really what March taught me.

“Stay committed to your decisions; but stay flexible in your approach.” –Tony Robbins

“You win some, you lose some, and some get rained out, but you gotta suit up for them all.”-J. Askenberg

“Instead of bracing yourself for the perils of the unknown, embrace the joy that is here, in your present moment.”
― Michelle Cruz-Rosado

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”- Brene Brown

“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” -Bob Proctor

Best Moments:

It was a month of my girl pushing herself to the limit; finishing second place in the high school state ski championships gave her such a sense of accomplishment. And then a few weeks later, she went and did this – caution-it gets a bit loud at the end of the video! Facebook Post by Jennifer Mason Wolfe.

Wishing you great possibilities in April – and as always, thank you for supporting mamawolfe. I’d love to connect with you on Instagram and Facebook, too!

mamawolfe

loving fiercely | teaching audaciously | thinking deeply

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Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe

My Best March:

Best Blog Reads:

Best Books:

Best Quiet Place:

Best Photos:

Best Quotes:

Best Moments:

Jennifer Wolfe