Letter to My College Bound Daughter

Posted on August 22, 2014 by

Westminster College

Dear baby girl,

You are done with what society has ‘required’ you to do. What’s left is what YOU require yourself to do. That can seem scary and daunting and utterly oblivious to you right now, and that’s precisely the way it should be, I think. I have a few words of advice that might help. For what it’s worth, I hope you pause and consider some life lessons I’ve learned along the way:

First, pay attention. The Universe sends us clues all the time, but only those who pay attention to life really find them. Think of life as a big treasure hunt, and as you move from place to place, from relationship to relationship, and from opportunity to opportunity, pay attention to what’s happening. Look for clues to help move you towards your happiness.

Second, be curious. Don’t let the world pass you by. Ask questions, wonder why things are the way they are. Don’t be afraid to try something new, to talk to strangers, or to cross the street. You are now enrolling in life school, which is so much bigger and challenging and wondrous than any school you’ve ever attended before. Be curious about life, about learning, about people and places and things that happen around you and around the world. Soak it all up and learn wherever you are.

Westminster College SLC

Third, trust yourself. Remember that life has a way of working itself out. Your great grandpa Paul used to always say this, and I’ve relied on these words in times when I didn’t know what to do in life, both big moments and small. What I really think he mean was to trust – trust your journey. Trust yourself. Trust the Universe, or God, or whatever spirit you find guiding you along the way. Trust love, loss, joy, sadness, friends and most of all, yourself. Sometimes that’s the only place to go when something feels really huge. Get quiet and listen to your heart and to your instincts. You have learned right and wrong, what’s good for you and unhealthy, and you know what happiness and love feel like. Most of the time you can figure it out.

Westminster College dorm

And finally, remember there’s no place like home. Your dad and I will forever love you and help you. You will always have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and loving arms to wrap around you. Unless your life adventures take you out of phone service, we’re always a call away and a plane ride home. We will welcome you, your friends, and your partners. We will listen to your triumphs and your challenges, we will root for you in all things, and most of all, we will love you with a fierceness nothing can tame. We know you are ready, and that college is only the beginning of a glorious adventure for you.

So my dear college-bound daughter, pay attention. Be curious. Remember life has a way of working itself out. And always, always know there’s no place like home.

We love you.

xxoo

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Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Comments: 30

  • Mark Vance

    August 12, 2017

    Jennifer,
    My daughter is leaving for college in 4 days and I have been trying to decide what to do for her. I am not a writer and I am horrible with words. I found your letter by doing a simple Google search. Your words hit home with me and inspired me to create a letter of my own. I hope you don’t mind but I used some of your words and thoughts in my letter. I used yours as a springboard and template to create mine. As I typed I had to stop to wipe away my tears. I am proud of the finished letter but I owe you a big thank you! Without your heartfelt letter I am not sure if I could of put my feelings into words. Just know that my daughter with benefit from your letter as I know your daughter did. Thank You again!

    Reply
    • Jennifer Wolfe

      August 12, 2017

      Mark,Thank you SO very much for letting me know that my words made an impact on you. And yes! I’m so happy you were able to use them as a springboard…there’s a reason why this is one of my all-time top posts, I think. Parents struggle with this time of life and even when we love to write, finding the words can be elusive. Best of luck to you and your daughter. I know things will all work out.

      Reply
  • Is Your Kid Going Away To College? - mamawolfe

    August 18, 2016

    […] I had no idea what to say to her as she left for college, so I wrote one of my most popular posts, Letter To My College-Bound Daughter. Maybe this will give you some ideas on what to say to your own […]

    Reply
  • Suzana

    February 28, 2016

    So true, Jennifer, when you write “The Universe sends us clues all the time, but only those who pay attention to life really find them.” Modern times have almost annihilated our ability to look for and capture such signs. Life is a quest of our own path and such signs can help us understand our path. Your daughter is so fortunate to have such a wise mom! =)

    Reply
    • Jennifer Wolfe

      February 28, 2016

      Thank you, Suzana. Parenting has been such a humbling – and enlightening- experience. I’m so grateful you enjoyed my post.

      Reply
  • 5 Years of Decembers - mamawolfe

    December 23, 2015

    […] her sliding glass door. It was mid-morning, and she already looked like she had never left for college. A wet towel hung over her pink desk chair, and her fuzzy sky-blue bathrobe still lay carelessly […]

    Reply
  • Travis

    November 17, 2015

    Hey Jennifer!
    Not sure if you remember but you were my 5th grade English teacher haha
    I got directed here through LinkedIn and thought it was awesome seeing your blog 🙂
    Hope everything is wonderful at home!
    , Travis

    Reply
    • Jennifer Wolfe

      November 17, 2015

      Hi Travis! I’m so glad you found the through my blog…and of course I remember you! Davis is basically the same, as is Emerson. I’m still teaching and writing and traveling. I hope that you stop by the blog again and let me know how you are. 🙂

      Reply
  • Love Makes Your Soul Crawl Out - mamawolfe

    May 12, 2015

    […] parenting teenager number two right now – his older sister is safely off to college and finding her way. One of the lovely aspects of having one child of each sex is just that – […]

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  • Home - mamawolfe

    December 1, 2014

    […] her sliding glass door. It was mid-morning, and she already looked like she had never left for college. A wet towel hung over her pink desk chair, and her fuzzy sky-blue bathrobe still lay carelessly […]

    Reply
  • Something - Anything - Pumpkin - mamawolfe

    November 5, 2014

    […] me, wondering and wishing they could get a glimpse into the ordinary moments in their life as an 18-year-old away from home for the first time. The look so young. Have they ever been grocery shopping before? Did their mothers teach them to […]

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  • bit.ly

    September 2, 2014

    […] moved here […]

    Reply
  • Lindsey

    August 30, 2014

    Tears. Love to you both. Motherhood on the page, this letter. xxo

    Reply
    • Jennifer Wolfe

      August 31, 2014

      Thank you, Lindsey. Lots of tears around here, too….tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of missing what used to be. On to a new chapter in motherhood!

      Reply
    • admin

      August 23, 2014

      Thank you, thank you Kim I know I’ll save it- not sure about her!

      Reply
  • Dawn Wink

    August 23, 2014

    Dear Mamawolfe,
    “Trust love, loss, joy, sadness, friends and most of all, yourself.” Yes, yes, and yes.
    Thank you so much for putting to words what we feel in our heart.
    xo

    Reply
    • admin

      August 23, 2014

      Dawn, you’re very welcome. It’s the only way I know how to process this soul splitting pain.

      Reply
    • admin

      August 23, 2014

      Thank you, Kathy. She’s so happy on college, it really does take some of the sting out of it!

      Reply
  • Dangerous Linda

    August 22, 2014

    Hi, Jennifer! ~

    This is lovely — you’re always making me misty!

    What really stands out about your message to your daughter is that it’s all about trusting and experiencing life — in contrast, it seems many of us are full of warnings and admonitions as we send our offspring out into the “big, scary world”.

    So sweet! Will you be my mother????
    Dangerous Linda recently posted…I know I am, but what are you?My Profile

    Reply
    • Jennifer Wolfe

      August 22, 2014

      Linda, My kids have taught me so much about warnings and admonitions…they are both so brave-much more than I ever was-so warnings really do no good. I want them to learn to trust themselves and their decisions…that’s how they can stay safe and happy. ~Jennifer

      Reply
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