Tag: parenthood

Another Day

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Jennifer Wolfe

Her face is turned toward the window, nestled on a deep feather pillow. Long dark lashes flutter as I kiss her cheek, brushing back soft strands of hair from her forehead. It is dark out, yet she will rise and greet another day.

His face is face up, eyes closed, arms thrown back over his head in the same position as when he slept as an infant. I reach down to kiss the sweet spot between his jaw and neck, and he groans and pulls the covers tighter. It is dark out, yet he will rise and greet another day.

Sleepily she pads downstairs, honey colored hair still in a messy braid. Too early to eat, she sips cold orange juice as she pulls on long underwear and ski socks. It is dark out, yet she will go and meet another day.

Groggily he pulls on his fuzzy black and white skull patterned bathrobe and gulps down fresh water. He trods down the stairs, too full of chatter for such an early start. It is dark out, yet he will go and meet another day.

She dresses quickly yet deliberately. No worries about appearances, she thinks only of the snow that awaits her. It is cold out, yet she will be brave and face another day.

He pulls on his layers, sweet grapefruit juice dribbling down his chin. Thinking only of the countdown to Christmas, he hugs me in anticipation. It is cold out, yet he will be brave and face another day.

Methodically she unscrews her ski helmet face bar in the dark lodge, preparing for the morning workout ahead of her. Layer upon layer upon layer she bundles up and heads towards the lift, tousled braid whipping in the wind. It is dawn out, and she gets to have another day.

Slowly he prepares for the snow, insisting on doing it alone. His fuzzy brown head disappears beneath a royal blue helmet and goggles, contrasting the lime green and black of his jacket. We kiss goodbye, my assurance I will be waiting for him when he returns. It is dawn out, and he gets to have another day.

Yet as I sit by the window watching the sun crest the snow-covered hills, I cry for the mother and child who are apart, who will never feel their arms around each other again, and who cannot brush away each other’s tears.

It is bright out, and I get to have another day.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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3 Fun and Easy Ways to Encourage Your Child to Write More- guest article by Jacob Maslow

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Jennifer Wolfe

As a teacher, parent, and writer, I know firsthand the importance of written communication. Today our children are learning in a different world than we did, and that can mean some adaptations need to be made to our way of thinking about learning how to write. The stakes are high-if you’re wondering about how to make writing easier for your children, read my guest post today by Jacob Maslow. He’s got some great ideas!

Strong writing skills are crucial for success in high school, college and beyond. Parents can help their children develop their writing skills by reading to them, providing a wide variety of reading materials and encouraging them to practice their writing skills. However, even the most avid reader can be a reluctant writer. Here are a few ways to help make writing less intimidating and more fun for your child so that they get the experience that is necessary to develop into fluid writers.

Make the Act of Writing Easier

Writing by hand is hard work! Many children shy away from writing simply because of the time and energy involved in putting pencil to paper. Like any skill, handwriting becomes easier the more that you practice, but getting your child to practice is often easier said than done.

Parents can make handwriting easier by helping their child develop the fine motor skills that are necessary for writing. Puzzles, modeling clay and dough, stringing beads and lacing and other games can exercise these muscles and help develop hand-eye coordination without seeming too much like work.

Start small when encouraging your older children to practice their handwriting so that they can develop stamina without being too discouraged. Even a few minutes of practice a day can help them improve their handwriting skills. Help them make captions for their artwork or ask them to help make shopping or to-do lists. Play games like hangman, Boggle or Mad-Libs that incorporate writing in a fun way.

Keyboarding and typing are useful skills for older children, but should not take the place of handwriting practice. Writing by hand helps children develop neural pathways that are important for their future learning. Keyboarding should only be introduced as an aid to writing after handwriting has been firmly established.

Use Imaginative Play to Help Your Child Develop Narratives

Imaginative play is popular with early childhood educators because it’s one of the best ways to help children increase the complexity and structure of their inner narratives. Pretend play helps children develop rich inner narratives and to learn how to communicate them to their playmates.

While younger children can’t write down these narratives, the practice they get in composing inner narratives will help them as they advance in school and have to call upon their imagination to compose sentences, paragraphs and essays. Parents can help their child play imaginatively by limiting screen time and providing props (toy kitchens, costumes, puppets, etc) that can help support their child’s imaginative play.

Older children can be encouraged to take their pretend play further by asking them to write out scripts for a performance. Set up a small puppet theater or stage for your children so that they can perform their creations for friends and family. Puppets work especially well since they allow your child to practice writing things from multiple points of view without requiring a large cast of actors. If you have a video camera, older children can also write their own movies, television series and commercials to be filmed to share with family and friends.

Make Writing a Part of Everyday Life

Again, the more opportunities that your child has to practice, the easier writing will become. Formal writing instruction is important, but it’s usually not enough to make your child completely comfortable with writing and often comes with a lot of pressure that makes writing seem like a chore instead of a useful tool.

Here are a few ideas to incorporate writing into your child’s daily routine:

Give them a notebook or journal for writing down their thoughts. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but often something that seems fancy or grown-up to a child can capture their imagination. Special diaries with locks or invisible ink are irresistible to most children.

Encourage them to send letters, cards and artwork to family and friends. They don’t have to be distant friends – dropping off a handwritten card to an elderly neighbor or classmate can be just as special and provide immediate feedback that will motivate your child to write more.

Let your child help you with your daily writing tasks, such as making grocery lists, writing down measurements and jotting down reminders on the family calendar.

Many children enjoy writing their own comics and picture books. Combing writing with art is an excellent way to help your child’s creativity grow while they practice their writing skills. Provide a wide variety of art supplies and look for books that help your child learn how to improve their drawing skills.

Find toys that encourage writing that they can use as props in their imaginative play. A whiteboard or chalkboard or easel can be used to play school, be a menu board for a restaurant, a for sale sign, an advertisement for their play or a danger sign.

Let your child make and display handwritten signs for their room.

Give your child prompts to help them come up with their own short stories or poems. Allow them to read them to the family at the dinner table or during family time.

Help your child get an advantage in school and career by giving them plenty of opportunity to practice their writing skills in a way that is fun and natural to them. Even a few minutes of writing practice each day can be enough to help them become comfortable and fluid writers.

Jacob Maslow is a father of five who has had a lot of practice in helping children learn how to write. He works for online retailer, Today’s Concept: which sells a wide variety of educational and fun toys that ignite children’s imaginations, including the always popular line of Melissa and Doug puppet theaters and puppets.

Jennifer Wolfe

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Prom Night At Our Place

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Jennifer Wolfe

I am definitely not a person who is into cliques. As a result, I’ve never been much of a joiner of clubs, groups, or anything that labels. I even resisted junior proms and senior balls as a teen. I don’t think at 16 I was thinking that I was being ‘true to my authentic self’; I just knew that something didn’t feel right, and prom wasn’t the place for me to be.

As a middle school teacher and survivor of the teenage years I know the damage kids can do to each other by labeling, stereotyping and making exclusive groups. As a mom, however, I was really pleased to be nominated as the “cool” place to hang out and prepare for the junior prom. As it turns out, kids in our town don’t need to have a date in order to go to the prom-what progress since my high school days! As a result, I had ten sophomore girls arriving to my house in waves to primp, polish and prepare for the first big dance of their young lives.

With iPod speakers blaring the young ladies began to polish toes and fingers in anticipation of the slightly tippy, strappy sandals most would be wearing, despite the 30 degree weather outside. It was an amazing sight to see that their texting ability wasn’t slowed down a bit by wet paint on their fingertips!

Next, the hair. Straight locks are out this season-with coordinated teamwork worthy of a football playbook, one after the other the girls strategized the curling process to result in Taylor Swift-worthy tumbling tresses.

Then, the food. In-n-Out was the request-what girl doesn’t need a big burger and fries before dancing the night away, right? Washing it down with sparkling cider served in my great grandfather’s tiny crystal wine glasses surely added class to the menu!

Dresses? Can anyone say micro-mini? Sheesh…these girls tugged and pulled to ensure no accidental wardrobe malfunctions! Some of the dresses were very, ahem, sophisticated.

The boys arrived next. Surprisingly there were a few ‘dates’-the sophomore boys seemed to wait until the last minute to ask the girls. Were they building up courage, or hoping that their last minute plea would be desperately accepted? Maybe they were just traditionalists trying to do prom the old fashioned way. Regardless, there didn’t seem to be any problem with only four of the ten girls having escorts-aside from the fact that none of the girls really knew how to act or entertain them while they waited. Standing awkwardly in their new suits, squeaky shoes and fresh haircuts, the boys waited patiently in the living room for the ladies, while mamawolfe acted as a human buffer between them and the hallway to the bedroom.

Finally, the photos. With flashbulbs that would challenge any paparazzi, the girls dazzled in a variety of photo combinations. Yes, there were the awkward groupings of those with dates, those who had been friends since elementary school, the whole group, and the shoes to show off the pedicures.

After all the memories were captured and we all piled in cars to drive to the high school, one of the girls commented, “Wow, you must feel really popular, mamawolfe, to have everyone want to hang out at your house tonight. It’s the place to be!”

Her comment stopped me cold. Popular? Not the word my adult brain would use. Special? Definitely. Recognized? For sure. Thrilled? Absolutely.

For me, this year’s prom night was so much more than all the pageantry. Sure, watching my little girl transform into a young woman before my eyes was beautiful. Feeling the excitement, the anticipation, and the energy was contagious. But what prom night really taught me this year is that belonging happens in many different ways. The girls learned that they don’t need to be joined (literally or figuratively) with a boy to have fun. The boys realized that if they ask, they have hope. And now I know that I don’t really need to join anything to be important in my daughter’s life – by being myself she and her friends feel comfortable. Actions speak louder than words. My house really is the place to be.

What more could a mom ask for?

Jennifer Wolfe

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Parenting 101 – guest post by Kathy Radigan

Posted on December 10, 2011 by Jennifer Wolfe

Life lessons through pigs? Today’s post just goes to show that education happens everywhere-especially when you’re a parent. I’ve often wondered why someone hasn’t written a parenting handbook-if there was such a thing, I think my guest blogger today would have a perfect chapter! Read on for parenting tips from Kathy Radigan. And be sure to check out her blog My Dishwasher’s Possessed for more!

I was thrilled when Jennifer asked me to guest post on her wonderful site. I was really excited to get a chance to re-post a piece I wrote last year when I was just starting my blog on Blogspot. This piece originally ran last February and is one of my personal favorites. This argument remains one of the worst my son and I ever had, but since he turns 13 in two weeks, I’m sure it will not be our last. Jennifer, thank you so much for letting me share this piece with your readers.

My father taught me one of the best parenting lessons I ever learned, and I was only five at the time.

One of my favorite things when I was a little girl was to go to Eisenhower Park with my family. The park had a small petting zoo that included a pig pen.

Any time my two sisters and I disobeyed our parents, we would be warned that we would be sent to live with the pigs.

It was a threat that was made in a way that we knew they weren’t serious, but just in case they were, we better do what we were told.

I can’t remember what made me buck the system one fateful day after my father gave me his usual warning. But this time I decided to show him just how smart I was.

“That’s fine daddy. Send me to live with the pigs.”

My poor father didn’t know what to do. This clearly was never a result my parents thought they would encounter. But once he made the threat, he had to follow through.

He made a big show of getting ready to take me to my new home. He got his coat… and his hat….and his keys. He hoped this would put an end to this and that I would realize that the inmates were not running the asylum.

I wasn’t giving in.

I was having a grand time insisting that I was ready to go to my new home. I confidently said goodbye to my sisters and mother. Not knowing what to do, my dad took me to the car. I kept waving and laughing playing the game I knew I was going to win.

We got into the car and I was still waving goodbye and feeling pretty darn good about myself.
Then my dad pulled out of the driveway… and onto the street.

I am still 99.9% sure he wasn’t going to let me live with the pigs, but I knew at that point that someone was going to have to end this. And that someone, was going to have to be me.

My father stood his ground that day and without yelling or laying a hand on me he let me know who was in charge. And it wasn’t me.

I think of this story often whenever I’m tempted to ground my soon-to-be, 13-year-old until he turns 30. He is an amazing child and I dearly adore him. As I did with my own parents, he knows he is loved and is very confident in that fact.

But he is starting to spread his wings and is determined to test the limits.

“I didn’t go to chorus rehearsal today, I’m going to quit.”

That was the opening salvo of one of our biggest battles last year.
I did my usual spiel of the need to keep commitments and deal with the consequences of our actions. In this case, it meant missing homework club. Unlike chorus, homework club requires no commitment and is just a fun place to do your homework and hang out with friends.

As the battle was heating up, I saw a letter from the school’s principal. Thinking that this form letter congratulating him on his hard work at the concert they just had was a sign from above, I laid the letter down to where he was doing his homework.

Suffice it to say, this did not bring the epiphany I was hoping for.

Quite the opposite. I can honestly say the Bill Cosby quote, “I brought you into this world I can take you out of it,” came to mind. Especially when he started waving the letter in my face while threatening to tear it up.

I surprised myself, as well as my son, when I calmly took the letter from his hand and tore it up.

I’m not sure if I was right, but his behavior was clearly out of bounds and I felt the need to let him know who was in charge.

He continued to protest but listened to me and went to his room. When the dust settled, he came out and apologized. He was also looking for an apology from me. I didn’t give him one. I told him that I loved him enough not to worry about his approval. I was his parent, not his friend.

The next day the pieces of the letter were still on the table. He looked at them and said, “I guess the letter meant more to me than I thought. I am sorry.”

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. Setting limits and following through can be the hardest part. It is also the most loving thing a parent can do.

I learned this at five when I almost joined a family of pigs.