When I was 16, I couldn’t wait to get my license. I lived just outside the city limits, and having a license equaled freedom. I didn’t care what I drove, I just wanted to not have to ride my bike miles into town or to school.

Maybe it’s a first-born thing; when my daughter turned 16, she was ready. She had researched online driving schools, taken and passed her driver ed course and written test on her own, and scheduled her behind the wheel for the day she turned 16.

My son is a completely different story. He really seems to have a much more relaxed attitude about driving; he’s nearly 16, and only completed part of his online course. He’s taking it slow, not in a rush whatsoever.

I guess I shouldn’t rush it; it’s kind of like when your kids were learning to walk. With the first born, I couldn’t wait to see her take off. Once she did, I realized how stressful it was worrying about where she might slip and fall and all the mischeif she could get into!

It’s the same with driving; when the firstborn gets behind the wheel it’s a definite milestone, but when you’ve spent hours waiting up for them to drive home safely on a Saturday night, the thrill is kind of gone. Quickly.

Luckily, my girl is an awesome driver. But she hasn’t ever had the opportunity to participate in driving simulations to show her just how dangerous it can be to not know how to really handle a car in hazardous situations – she’s learned a bit on her own, unfortunately. The good news is that I just found out about a cool program sponsored by the Ford Motor Company – they’re going around to different cities to offer an Advanced Driver Training program, and they’re coming to the Sacramento area May 13-14. And the best part? It’s completely FREE! And we’re going! Want to join us?

Here are the details:

Ford Driving Skills for Life is a FREE program developed in 2003 in conjunction with the Governors Highway Safety Association and a panel of safety experts to address the leading cause of death among teenagers in the United States – vehicle crashes.

Operated by the Ford Motor Company Fund, the award-winning DSFL program provides newly licensed teens the necessary skills for safe driving beyond what they learn in standard driver education programs. An emphasis is also placed on the dangers of distracted and impaired driving.

Teens will drive specially-equipped vehicles on road courses under the supervision of professional instructors, improving their skills in these key areas:

  • Hazard Recognition • Vehicle Handling • Space Management •Speed Management • Reaction Time

  • Braking and Stopping Distances • and how to Avoid the Dangers of Distracted and Impaired Driving.

WHERE: McClellan Park

                                   3140 Peacekeeper Way

                                    McClellan, CA 95652

 WHEN: SATURDAY & SUNDAY, June 13 &14

                                    Session 1 – 7:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. (both days)

                                     Session 2 – 1:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. (both days)

REGISTER: Spaces are still available for the Ford Driving Skills for Life program. For more information or to register a teen driver for a session, please go to www.drivingskillsforlife.com. This website has useful resources for teen drivers, parents and educators. 

We hope to see you there! Not in northern California? Check their website for a location near you!

Disclosure: mamawolfe received compensation for sharing information on the Ford Driving Skills For Life program. mamawolfe is not responsible for the accuracy of information presented or for the quality or safety of any products mentioned. 

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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The photo jumped out of my Facebook feed during my lunch break today. The beautiful woman, not the headline, caught my eye; she looked like someone famous, but I couldn’t quite place her. Then I realized who I was looking at: Caitlin Jenner.

I quickly scanned my middle school classroom for someone to share it with, someone who would care. The 9th graders scarfing down their lunches and talking sports and summer? The 8th grader taking a vocabulary test? I settled on my 20-something intern, who casually replied, “Oh yeah – I saw that. She’s gorgeous. Wow.”

I smiled, and went back to my salad.

Within minutes, it was all over social media. SHE was all over social media, in all her courageous, vulnerable, breathtaking silk-bodysuit clad natural beauty.

Scanning the news feeds, I was struck by my friend Loran Lewis Wyman’s Facebook posting – above the headline she wrote, “I’m wowed by the courage to do this. Awed by the transformation our world is making so that everyone can feel accepted. Inspired by an ongoing and deeper pursuit of realness. And invigorated by the always amazing flow of information – through the eyes of a brilliant photographer, an exclusive press article and cover, and via electrically charged digital media sharing the story across the globe like water running down a mountain in rivulets.”

Wow.

All I could add to that was “And hopeful that the children who have experienced ridicule and hate because they feel “different” will grow up in a world where being “different” is celebrated!”

Because that’s how I think. That’s my world – kids. That’s my barometer of life, how the world is changing and how I wish the rest of the world would catch up.

I look out at my students and marvel at their courage every day. I have kids who struggle with the everyday challenges of life: what to wear, how to style their hair, how to balance sports and school. They struggle with their parents and puberty, with grades and goals and getting into (and out of) relationships. They worry about being ‘different’ and about being alone or going along with the group.

And yes, they struggle with their gender identity and with their sexuality, sometimes before they even know what they’re struggling about.

So as I sat with my salad and thought about the kids in my room, I smiled. I didn’t have to show these kids her photo – they wouldn’t be phased by it. They’re growing up in a time where being different is no longer as taboo as it was in my generation. They’re growing up in a community that celebrates diversity, in a school that embraces children for how they treat each other, not how they look or who they love.

My heart filled with hope – hope that if one of those kids eating their lunch and playing with their Tech Decks – if one of them is growing up feeling “different”, that maybe our world is changing just fast enough that they won’t have to wait until they’re sixty-five years old and panicked that, in the words of Caitlyn Jenner, “If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself,’ and I don’t want that to happen.”

Congratulations, Caitlyn. Thanks for introducing yourself to the world. Thanks for living your true self. Thanks for showing us that being ‘different’ is beautiful.
Photo credit: Poppy – I am so different via photopin (license)

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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What Teachers Really Want For Teacher Appreciation Week

I walked into my classroom this morning a bit groggy and bleary-eyed from a terrific weekend – a weekend not spent grading or lesson planning, but instead, spent with my daughter on a surprise early Mother’s Day weekend visit. There’s nothing easy about teaching first period English in junior high school – the only thing just a touch harder is teaching LAST period English – so I typically start the class with a bit of relationship building, often my best bit of comedy for the day.

“Wait – what are you all doing here today? It’s Monday of Teacher Appreciation Week – didn’t anyone tell you?” I quipped.

Moments of sheer panic washed over their face as they momentarily thought maybe they’d missed a sleep-in day.

“You were supposed to stay home today! But I’m really not surprised – you’re such dedicated, hard-working students, I know you wouldn’t want to miss a Monday with Mrs. Wolfe!”

Eyes rolled at this point.

“And I need to thank you all, for being on time this Monday morning – every single one of you,” I continued as they giggled and called out the names of the habitual sleepy heads. Another not-so-easy feat for junior high school students who would rather sleep than do almost anything else.

“Thank you for getting Teacher Appreciation Week off to such a great start. Now, as long as you’re here, let’s get to work.”

More eye-rolling, and a few whispers of “Wait – it’s Teacher Appreciation Week? I didn’t get you anything!” later, we were rolling along with our book v. movie analysis graphic organizers.

The day just kind of chugged along today, and aside from the coffee and baked goodies in the staff room, it was a pretty typical Monday in middle school. I kept thinking back to first period, and how much I love those moments away from the curriculum when I can really get to know the kids; as any middle school teacher will tell you, it’s all about having the kids connect with you before they connect with the content. I thought about what really keeps me going, year after year, when education is becoming more complicated and complex and when new teachers are shying away from the profession, and veterans are wondering how much longer they can keep walking through their classroom door with a smile on their face.

So parents, if you’re looking for a gift for Teacher Appreciation Week, I’ve got you covered:

1. Teachers want to hear how their teaching connects with their students’ lives.

Often, I’ll tell my students that when their parent asks them what they ‘did’ at school today, instead of saying ‘nothing’, they can explain they learned what dramatic irony is, or quiz their parents on the definition of pusillanimous, or ask them how the Reconstruction period connects with #blacklivesmatter in 2015. My students usually groan, roll their eyes a bit, and go on with their work. And honestly, I’m often left wondering how much they actually bring home to you. Did they tell you about our ‘essential question’ today, or that they learned the difference between dramatic, verbal, and situational irony? Could they share the staggering statistics they read about 21st-century slavery, and that their shirt was made in a country that utilizes child-labor? Do they have their ‘light bulb’ moments at the dinner table, or driving home from soccer practice? For Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to know what they tell you about our class and their learning – it would really make me smile.

2. Teachers want to have former students contact them.

Last week as I was sitting at my desk after school, one of my former students walked through my door. He was man-sized, which always means I need a moment to register them in their post-junior-high-aged body. I welcomed him back, asked how old he was and what he was doing. He told me 19, and that he was enrolled at the university. As I congratulated him, he said, “You know, I wanted to tell you that I’m actually going there because of your class. When you took us on that field trip to the campus and showed us around, I could picture myself there. It was because of you.”

I could hardly hold back the tears. Six years later, for him to come back to tell me that, made my heart swell. It made all the hassle of field trip forms, parent drivers, and permission slips worthwhile. For teachers, seeing our students growing up and turning into happy humans is all the appreciation we need.

3. Teachers want more time.

I have multiple student interns working in my classroom – not only is it good for young college students to see the power of teaching, but it’s equally beneficial for my students to have more ‘helpers’ and adults to see as role models. My interns help me with the most sought-after teacher gift of all – the gift of time. I don’t know an educator (especially my English teacher colleagues) who wouldn’t celebrate with the gift of more minutes to create curriculum, contact parents, grade papers, learn how to use new technology…the list is endless. Our teaching days are like the crack of a starter’s pistol at 8:00 a.m., and when the final bell rings 7 hours later, we’re lucky to have a moment to sit down before attending meetings, making copies, cleaning the room and checking email. And that’s all before we go home with our bulging bags of papers to grade – the other part of our job. For Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to have just a bit more time to make your child’s learning experience that much more exciting and relevant.

4. Teachers want to know they matter.

Above all, for Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to know that I’m appreciated. For some reason, teachers seem to be taking a huge hit in the media over the last few years. Most of the teachers I know didn’t start teaching because they wanted to make life harder for their students and their families. They didn’t start teaching because they felt it was their responsibility to become substitute parents, or to give failing grades or to do anything except make a difference in the life of a child. Teachers are service-oriented professionals who, for the most part, want to earn enough money to support their family, live in their community, send their own children to college and at the end of the day, know that their tired brains and stacks of papers to grade are worth it because they matter in the life of a child.

Parents, put down the Starbuck’s card, and instead, please try one of these ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week. I guarantee they’ll be the best present that teacher ever received.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Do you remember the Ice Bucket Challenge?

Last summer, millions and millions of people jumped at the chance to dump ice chests, buckets and barrels of ice cold water on themselves, and then challenge their friends to do the same. Social media was saturated with photos, videos and testimonials.

Do you remember why?

The Ice Bucket Challenge was created to raise awareness about ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. In several months, over $8 million dollars was raised to fight this horrible, terminal disease that has no treatment or cure. In other words, ALS is a death sentence – and along the way, the sufferer’s  body will slowly lose all ability to move.

I have a friend who has ALS; actually, I met her through my son. Her name is Cathy Speck, and over the last two years she has taught both of us about life and love while she is dying. You might remember her from the story I wrote last fall about the ALS walk we did together, or the Christmas caroling party she organized.

ALS walk

Everyone loves her-can’t you tell?

She really is an amazing woman – and I want her to stay alive. Watch this video clip and you’ll see why:

Nadine El Khoury created this video short about Cathy – and she is also the director of  ‘Better Days’, a documentary she has written, filmed, directed and is producing to share awareness about ALS.  Through a strange twist of fate, she found Cathy’s song, “Sweet Beyond”, online, not knowing Cathy suffered from ALS, too. Cathy and Nadine became fast friends, and a few weeks ago, my son and I attended a fundraising event to support Cathy and help raise awareness for the documentary project. There was no ice bucket, and we weren’t asked to do anything except listen to stories and watch a video trailer for a documentary trying to get finished.

I spent two hours shifting between tears of laughter, sadness and hope, but I left feeling full of love.

You can watch a trailer of the video here.

Nadine’s documentary has captured the essence of ALS: how it strikes at random, often swiftly and without warning, and leaves its victims living a life they never imagined.

You may not know anyone with ALS. You may not want to know about this disease, or how devastating it is. You may not want to think about things that are so frightening or painful or things that could actually happen to you. But if you’ve taken the time to read this post and watch these videos, you know Cathy. And I promise you – you would love her, too.

So I have a favor to ask you.

Did you do the Ice Bucket Challenge? I promise you, my request is much, much easier.

We need your help. In our little town, at our little fundraiser, we gave over $4,400 towards helping get this documentary finished. This movie isn’t for profit- this is a project created by one young woman from Lebanon who had a friend develop ALS who is using her talents to spread the word about a disease. This is from one dying woman who lost her mother, two brothers and an aunt to ALS, and is living more gracefully than many. This is from one mother who has watched her teenage son befriend a woman who is dying, and has seen him enrich his life from knowing her.

This is from one writer asking you to be grateful for your health, and to share what you can to get this film finished. To find a cure for this disease.

To help Cathy live.

To donate, use the “Go Fund Me” buttons on the documentary website, http://betterdaysfilm.com.

To learn more about the “Better Days” documentary project, visit Nadine’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/betteralsdays.

To watch another trailer for “Better Days”, click here: http://youtu.be/B5Cq_jMtHFs

And please share this post on your social media. Tweet, Facebook, and Google+ this to help us spread awareness about ALS, about “Better Days”, and about Cathy.

She’s really something special.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Six months ago, I wrote an essay about my son’s injury at Mt. Hood. I called it “Broken”, and you can read the original piece here. It was hard for me to write; I was going through some emotional times during the summer, and, as with any time a parent sees their child injured, his accident really shook me up. I needed to figure it out.

As with all my writing, I wrote it for me. I wasn’t out to impress anyone with his injury or our story. I didn’t intend to make my life seem harder/more painful/more dramatic or fill-in-the-blank with whatever word you would like. I was simply telling my story, my experience, and sharing how it made me feel. No judgement, no pity party, nothing but sharing my love for my son, and no evaluation or proclamation that our situation was more traumatic than any other.

My story was about healing, change, and adapting to the ‘new normal’ – something I was dealing with on several levels in my life. At the same time this happened, I was reading a blogpost by one of my favorite writer/bloggers, Katrina Kenison, who so eloquently pens the exquisite agony we feel as mothers adapting to different experiences with our children. It felt like the Universe was speaking to me, sending me ways to cope with my situation.

I ended my story with healing, with gratitude, and with thoughts of moving forward.

Today, the Huffington Post published the same story, with the title “The Phone Call No Parent Wants To Get”. Provocative title, I agree – that’s what happens when stories get published online.

Within minutes, there were dozens of comments. Surprised, I clicked over. I didn’t think it was the kind of post that would garner much commentary at all. It was just a retelling of an experience of motherhood.

What I saw was full of hate.

I fully realize that the Universe deals out trauma much more intense than what we were experiencing. No one wants to see their child – or any other child – experience pain, fear, or injury. I know that some have more than their share of heartbreak, suffering, and agony. I would never presume to understand the pain of losing a child, or watching a child suffer through any trauma.

But that’s not what my essay was about.

It’s too bad that those people who clicked on my post were “infuriated”, as one reader expressed. It’s too bad that they felt they just wasted their time reading it, or that they somehow had to insert their ego/story/opinion into mine.

Why they would waste more of their time spewing hate and vitriolic comments to me is amazing.

Kindness matters, people. Read closely:

You absolutely have the right to say what you think, just like I do. But please, think about how you say it.

This essay wasn’t a piece about politics or religion. It wasn’t a controversial topic. This was a reflection, a memoir, a snapshot of time. It was my experience, not meant to be evaluated or judged against anyone else’s. What would be the point in that? How could one possibly believe that their pain is any greater than another, that their suffering is any stronger? We never know each other’s back story.

While the internet offers an amazing opportunity for people to communicate and connect, why not do so with kindness and seek to understand and be understood? Why hide behind anonymity, freely condemning people for their ideas? Would you yell at me like that in person? Would you hunt down a book author, and plaster your words all over their home?

I’m not impressed by your hate. I’m not even agitated enough to write back and engage in any sort of debate. It’s pointless. I’m even laughing at much of your poorly written, ignorant assumptions you make about me and my son. You have no idea. You don’t know me, you don’t know my story – and to engage with you would be to proclaim that I know yours. Your assumptions make you look like an ass, and give you no credibility. Who are you to judge me?

Life is hard. We all have different challenges. In no way would I equate my son’s accident as anything even close to what many parents deal with on a daily basis.

THAT’S NOT THE POINT.

We are all on this life journey together. We all have a voice. I use mine to communicate, to understand others, and to make the world a kinder place to live in. By spewing your commentary, it makes me wonder what else you do in life that pushes us all backwards in anger, instead of forwards in compassion.

Remember, kindness matters. Maybe I could learn from you – but not if you try to teach me with your hate.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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