Rose Colored Memories

Posted on April 28, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

Point Lobos, CA

The first time you took me there I couldn’t have been more than 12. My brown hair was cut shoulder length, signifying my emerging teenage angst. It was the 1970s, and stripes were all the rage. I remember that sweater, the pale yellow, rose and powder blue horizontals didn’t do anything for my pudgy frame, but it was comforting and soft against my skin as we walked along the shoreline.

Mom really looks like you, you know. I never realized it when I was little, or course, as children so often forget to notice the details. I remember your tiny, tiny feet, almost doll-like – I guess I thought everyone’s grandma shopped for shoes in the kid’s section. Visiting with you almost always involved a quick trip to Macy’s, and almost always resulted in a special addition to my wardrobe. Today I sometimes wear that heavy rose colored cardigan you made – the one flecked with gray and big enough to wrap around me like a warm hug from you when I’m freezing cold. My family teases me when I have it on, but I’ll never give it up.

Double Delight rose

We always had to detour to say hi to Father Serra when we rolled into town, even though it was you I couldn’t wait to see. The last time we visited – a few months before you died – you held my boy on your lap in that rose armchair in your kitchen and smiled right into the camera. I’m sure he knows you loved him, even if he can’t remember. Lily was old enough to delight in the hidden treasures of your garden, skipping along the path, exclaiming with glee with each cement bunny or seashell treasure she uncovered. It was fairyland for her. Remember how she stood on tip-toe to smell your roses?

My son loves shortbread, you know. I wish you were here; you’d love feeding his lanky teenage body. You always had something delicious ready when his dad and I were dating; I’ve heard stories about Mom’s boyfriends always wanting to eat at your house, and now I realize why. I know the shortbread recipe was really grandpa’s secret claim to fame – it was nice of you to let him have that little part of your world. You stacked the flaky, buttery shortbread squares right next to your dainty strawberry jam thumbprints. Oh, the cookies that came out of your kitchen. When we’d sit down for tea there was never a lack of sweets, always hiding in some sort of British tin you pulled out of the pantry. It made me feel like you baked them just for me, but I suspect that, like most everything in your life, you baked them just because you loved to.

Even today, when I walk into Mom’s house, I know you’re there. I can just feel you inside the adobe walls, I can hear your dainty feet pattering around the garden and your twig broom brushing the sand from the bricks, just like she still does today. You’re in the little kitchen when we eat – you know, the gas stove continues to make it the warmest place in the house. Mom doesn’t make cookies like you did – but don’t worry, I use the shortbread recipe when I want to let my boy know how much he’s loved.

And just last week, right after I turned off the highway and whispered hi to Father Serra, I curled up in that rose colored armchair and thought of you.

This post was inspired by Under Magnolia by Frances Mayes, a memoir of her return to her roots in the South. Join From Left to Write on April 30th as we discuss Under Magnolia. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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How To Know If You’re An Optimist – And 6 Easy Ways To Become One

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

optimism

(ˈɒptɪˌmɪzəm) n

1. the tendency to expect the best and see the best in all things 2. hopefulness; confidence

We’ve all heard it before – are you a ‘cup half full’ or a ‘cup half empty’ kind of person. Me? I never knew – and still don’t know – quite how to answer that question. Am I an optimist? A pessimist? Does it depend on the size of the glass and what it’s full of?

If you answer ‘yes’ to any of those questions, I’d have to say you are an optimist – at least most of the time.

Optimists don’t always have all the answers. They aren’t always smiley and cheery and living life on the edge; right there, it would knock me out of the “Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ group right there.

And where would that leave me? Pessimist? A “person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy?” Well, sometimes, but not always. Sometimes life is gloomy. Sometimes really, really bad things happen – things so bad that we struggle to find a reason, to make sense, to ground ourselves in a place of security. When we fight the inner critic that tells us that we’re no good, that people are mean, and that evil exists in the world and unless we have superpowers, we can’t fight back.

We wonder why bad things happen to good people. Why earthquakes and tsunamis and tornadoes wipe out thousands of innocent lives in a single moment. We ponder suicides and mass shootings and children who die and parents who have a terminal disease….when you think about it, being an optimist requires an antidote to kryptonite.

Optimism requires hope. It expects good to triumph over evil. It obliges us to believe in heroes, in the rewards of virtue and that every cloud has a silver lining. Optimism requires us to believe that we can make a difference if we just put one foot in front of the other, even on those days when we feel like curling up into a ball and closing out the world.

Therefore, I proclaim myself an optimist.

Think about it – when was the last time you heard someone say they were ‘blessed’? This morning? Last night?

I hear it every day, multiple times. In fact, I hear it so much I wonder if the true meaning is being lost. I wonder if what they really are saying is ‘I-know-this-is-hard-but-I’m-aware-that-I’m-luckier-than-most’.

Is that being an optimist? I would argue, yes.

And I’ll admit – I have it luckier/better/easier than most people in the world. Travel has taught me that.

I’ll also admit that I’ve had some challenging shit happen to me in my life – and to those I care most about.

Last summer, when Cameron broke his leg and we had to figure out what to do next, I decided that every day we would look for ‘silver linings’. I used those exact words, and when we were in the hospital, or stuck on a couch far away from home, or trying to navigate a full leg cast in a wheelchair or attempting to understand why-this-happened-to-him, we would stop, and say three ‘silver-linings’. And I have to say, it helped.

Recently I was asked to review the book, 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People: Power Your Life With The Positive by David Mezzapelle. And I’ll admit – I was a bit apprehensive. Could I truly make it through 288 pages of being ‘blessed’? Would my inner skeptic manage to stay positive?

Happily, it did, and I found stories of real people peppered with optimistic quotes and ideas and actual nuggets of inspiration – some that I’ve regularly practiced in my daily life, and some that I’m working on embracing on a daily basis. Surprisingly, I found many of the themes here were ideas I’ve written about before: change, gratitude, small moments, value, self-care, inspiration, and service.

Because I loved these ideas so much, I’m running a giveaway for the book 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People: Power Your Life With The Positive. Viva Books has generously offered to send three copies to the winners – please enter, and share it with your friends who you think would benefit from reading stories inspired by these ideas:

1. Embrace Change

2. Appreciate Those Around You

3. Savor Every Moment

4. Believe In Yourself and the Value You Possess

5. Find Yourself In Service To Others

6. Have An Attitude of Gratitude

It’s simple to enter – just click the link below and choose your options.

Winners will be determined on May 3, 2015 – enter now! a Rafflecopter giveaway

photo credit: Better Future Ahead Sky via photopin (license)

photo credit: Things Will Be Fine via photopin (license)

Jennifer Wolfe

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5 Things You Probably Don’t Know Teachers Are Thinking

Posted on April 23, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

I went on a ‘release’ day today – that’s teacher talk for when we are allowed to leave our classroom to do something besides teach students. It’s kind of a silly word to use, isn’t it? Just think of what being ‘released’ from something implies – that you’re somehow in a situation unwillingly (like jury duty) and someone else decides that you can be let go.

Not such a positive way to think about teacher training…but being ‘released’ is the only way to collaborate with colleagues, learn new skills and strategies, and plan for how to improve my teaching and make the overall school experience better for all students.

So I spent the day with two wonderful, hard working, experienced colleagues at a workshop for AVID teachers – AVID is a program for supporting kids to achieve their dreams of going to the college of their choice, and I’ve been running and teaching it since 2008.

I believe in the power of AVID, and the possibility that all kids have to achieve anything they set their mind to.

Spending the day with these two women is empowering; they are kindred spirits, women who themselves graduated from top universities, have decades of teaching experience, are mothers and partners and creative spirits…

and they spend most of their day, their nights, and their free time thinking about, creating for and innovating to provide the best education possible for their students. For OUR children.

It made me think about teachers and teaching in another way – in a very human, raw, open manner. It made me think there are at least 5 things you probably don’t know teachers are thinking:

1. Teachers believe in possibility – for all children.

When I first started teaching, a wise mentor told me that she believes every child wants to be successful – they just don’t always know how to get there. When we walk into our classrooms each day, each period, each hour, we believe in the possibility that every child in that room can not only learn, but can grow into an individual with the potential to change the world. We know that not every day will be amazing, and we know that sometimes it takes years for our lessons to sink in and bring a child to another way of thinking; we also know that some days we get it so right on that children have a moment that they believe in the possibility of their future, too.

2. Teachers think about their teaching all the time.

I haven’t met a teacher yet (in 25 years) that isn’t automatically programmed to see an opportunity to share something magical that they discover outside the classroom, to seize a book or materials that spark their creativity and will certainly enhance their classroom. We do it on vacation, when we’re walking the dog, or when we’re listening to the radio. Sometimes teachers have even been known to go away on vacation together and TALK ABOUT TEACHING! As much as we would often like to, teachers generally are on the lookout for any way to make learning more meaningful, more exciting, more relevant – all the time.

3. Teachers think about their students outside of the classroom.

Some of my worst – and best – days of teaching come home with me. Those are the days that I question myself, days that linger in my mind, nagging me to solve a problem, find a new way to connect, or search for something that will make my students laugh or question or want to do their very best. Oftentimes I’ll call a teacher friend for advice, or search the internet for hours for new lesson ideas, or intriguing video clips, or for photos that will make them smile. It’s impossible for me to not think about my students, even long after they’ve left my 8th grade classroom.

4. Teachers think about how to do more with less.

In my 25 years of teaching, I’ve watched education budgets shrink, salaries stagnate, classrooms remain ill equipped for today’s learner, and teacher work days disappear. I’ve also watched class sizes increase, healthcare costs rise, new technology arrive and waves of popular curriculum pedagogy come and go. Today, I have more students, more preps, more demands, and more work hours. I also have less money, fewer classroom assistants, fewer supplies, less ‘free’ training and less free time. I honestly spend more hours than I should trying to figure out how to streamline curriculum, how to get volunteers into the classroom to help connect with kids, and how to balance my work life with my home life.

5. Teachers believe in the power of relationships.

We know that if a child, a teacher, and a parent share common goals and the belief that success is possible, great things can happen. Teachers believe in building relationships with children first, then building curriculum. In middle school, where I reside, it’s nearly impossible to teach content if students do not first develop trust, respect and feel safe in the classroom. We know education starts at home. We see the power of early childhood education, of families that read to their kids, and parents who stress the value of education. Teachers want to be allies with parents, not enemies. We believe in the power of relationships to create magic for our children.

And maybe you’re sitting back, reading this and thinking I’m exaggerating. Maybe you think that not every teacher thinks this way. And you may be right. Like any profession, teachers share a wide variety of perspectives and philosophies.

But what if you’re wrong? What if you give teachers the benefit of the doubt, and assume they made teaching a career not because of the high salary (ha!) and summers off (ha! again – we just do our year-long job in 10 months!), but because we really do believe in your child – in all children – and we are here to serve?

Imagine what a transformation we could make. Just imagine…

Jennifer Wolfe

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What Would You Do If You Were Guaranteed Success?

Posted on April 20, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

What would you do if you were guaranteed success?

Would your life be very different from the way it is now?

If I were guaranteed success….

I would create the perfect cup – or cups – of coffee, deliberately grinding the beans,

hovering over the red kettle as it rises to just before a boil,

grab it, and pour with gusto.

I’d exuberantly throw open the windows, welcoming the morning birdsong from my upstairs desk,

pull the blanket over my lap and scribble my thoughts with my cherished black pen,

and the words would fall into place…

You’d see me wearing the slightly higher heeled boots with black tights,

not worrying about being on my feet all day

or if I could gracefully ride my bike to work.

If I were guaranteed success…

I would call and text her every morning and each night

just to check in and see what life is like so far away,

and send her a few dollars for fresh fruit.

I would zip up my ski parka and snap into my bindings,

jump into the race course and fly down the hill-

my smile blinding the spectators on the sidelines…

then go home to create the perfect tiramisu for her birthday party,

not buying any ingredients fat-free, sugarless or on sale,

and sit by her side savoring every exquisite bite.

If I were guaranteed success…

I would find a way to make a living

that doesn’t trade time and flexibility for income,

and no grouchy, uptight parents would tell me how to do it.

I’d buy a fast laptop

lock myself high up in the mountains or on a seaside cliff,

turning pictures into words, memories into stories

smiling broadly every morning….

opening the chest of love letters from long ago,

letting the words and memories pour into my heart-

dripping through my veins and onto a page

for you to read.

Jennifer Wolfe

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I Got Published! In A Book! It’s The Ride of a Lifetime!

Posted on April 16, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

Have you ever done something that seemed like a good idea at the time?

Have you ever jumped into a project, or an adventure just because you felt so strongly in your soul that it was the right thing to do?

When my kids and I started volunteering for a Nicaraguan non-profit called Seeds of Learning in 2010, I had no idea the impact it would have on each of us – it changed our lives.

We went from a small, college town in northern California to the mountains of Nicaragua to build schools. We went loaded with books, teaching supplies, fabric and yarn and crafts and puzzles and backpacks. We went with anticipation, trepidation, and a complete and utter inability to know what life was like in a developing country.

We went with a sense of adventure.

We came home with love, laughter, uplifted hearts and stories – lots and lots of stories.

I’ve written here about our escapades; stories of the people we loved, the simplicity of the lifestyle, and the anxiety I felt before we left. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t think of the lovely Nicaraguan boys and girls who eagerly embraced us strangers, and my heart aches for the mothers who try desperately to provide for their children, to give them an education, feed them, and raise them to find joy in the most impoverished of conditions.

Their stories are embedded in my heart.

A few months ago I heard of a website, Story Shelter, looking for true stories of adventure – stories from regular people who have taken risks, stepped out of their comfort zone, and faced challenges. They want to create a Chicken-Soup-style book – but with an edge.

I instantly thought of Nicaragua.

With a leap of faith, I submitted “Ride of A Lifetime”, and they loved it. Yesterday, it was published in their anthology titled “I Am Here: The Untold Stories of Everyday People”.

It’s such a thrill to see my story in print – real print, on paper. Old school style. And in an e-book for Kindle, too!

For the next few days it’s free for Kindle – click here to find it on Amazon.

The publishers put together a cool promotion page – you can see it here.

They also made a book trailer promotional video, and I’m in it: