Being Different Is Being Beautiful: Speaking Out About Caitlyn Jenner

Posted on June 1, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

The photo jumped out of my Facebook feed during my lunch break today. The beautiful woman, not the headline, caught my eye; she looked like someone famous, but I couldn’t quite place her. Then I realized who I was looking at: Caitlin Jenner.

I quickly scanned my middle school classroom for someone to share it with, someone who would care. The 9th graders scarfing down their lunches and talking sports and summer? The 8th grader taking a vocabulary test? I settled on my 20-something intern, who casually replied, “Oh yeah – I saw that. She’s gorgeous. Wow.”

I smiled, and went back to my salad.

Within minutes, it was all over social media. SHE was all over social media, in all her courageous, vulnerable, breathtaking silk-bodysuit clad natural beauty.

Scanning the news feeds, I was struck by my friend Loran Lewis Wyman’s Facebook posting – above the headline she wrote, “I’m wowed by the courage to do this. Awed by the transformation our world is making so that everyone can feel accepted. Inspired by an ongoing and deeper pursuit of realness. And invigorated by the always amazing flow of information – through the eyes of a brilliant photographer, an exclusive press article and cover, and via electrically charged digital media sharing the story across the globe like water running down a mountain in rivulets.”

Wow.

All I could add to that was “And hopeful that the children who have experienced ridicule and hate because they feel “different” will grow up in a world where being “different” is celebrated!”

Because that’s how I think. That’s my world – kids. That’s my barometer of life, how the world is changing and how I wish the rest of the world would catch up.

I look out at my students and marvel at their courage every day. I have kids who struggle with the everyday challenges of life: what to wear, how to style their hair, how to balance sports and school. They struggle with their parents and puberty, with grades and goals and getting into (and out of) relationships. They worry about being ‘different’ and about being alone or going along with the group.

And yes, they struggle with their gender identity and with their sexuality, sometimes before they even know what they’re struggling about.

So as I sat with my salad and thought about the kids in my room, I smiled. I didn’t have to show these kids her photo – they wouldn’t be phased by it. They’re growing up in a time where being different is no longer as taboo as it was in my generation. They’re growing up in a community that celebrates diversity, in a school that embraces children for how they treat each other, not how they look or who they love.

My heart filled with hope – hope that if one of those kids eating their lunch and playing with their Tech Decks – if one of them is growing up feeling “different”, that maybe our world is changing just fast enough that they won’t have to wait until they’re sixty-five years old and panicked that, in the words of Caitlyn Jenner, “If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself,’ and I don’t want that to happen.”

Congratulations, Caitlyn. Thanks for introducing yourself to the world. Thanks for living your true self. Thanks for showing us that being ‘different’ is beautiful.
Photo credit: Poppy – I am so different via photopin (license)

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Revisiting Gratitude

Posted on May 28, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

I have a friend who is going through a really, really tough time right now. When she confided in me, I felt a mix of honor that she trusted me, and obligation to help her through. What came to my mind first? Gratitude.

I know gratitude is all over the news. I myself have written many essays, book reviews, and poetry sharing the virtues of gratitude and how it has helped me ride out the long, hopeless days of mothering, teaching and living.

So I got her a tiny, blue leather journal. I printed out two of my favorite poems, one for the back and one for the front. And I told her to write three ‘gratitudes’ every day. Without fail. Even when she feels like everything is hopeless. Even when she feels like there is no light to run towards. Even when she feels alone.

And I shared with her my #365gratitude posts on Instagram. And yes, I do both. I give daily thanks for the big and the small things in life. Some days, my gratitudes are easy to find. Some days, I really have to dig. But I’ve found that walking with an intention to find gratitude opens my eyes in so many ways, allowing hope to shine in when I most need it.

The great thing about sharing #365gratitude posts on Instagram is the ability to quickly revisit the images whenever I need inspiration – like today. It’s like revisiting a museum full of life moments – a quick scroll shows me what I value in life, what my eye is drawn to, and what makes me happy. I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you today. And if you’re on Instagram, I’d love to connect – you can find me at https://instagram.com/mamawolfeto2/.

https://instagram.com/p/rKq-HHGm_K/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

Before the August accident…

https://instagram.com/p/rQqRPgGm01/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/rvCfAgGm0v/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

Keeping my #lookup promise, even when the tears were falling.

https://instagram.com/p/sOHu0fGm-S/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/uj0ZQBGm2r/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/xDrXbbGm0u/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/zln083GmzZ/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/06tJ3YGm5v/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/2PJTAxGmxv/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

https://instagram.com/p/2kXlYdmm5T/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

Notice a few themes here? All things I love – the sky, the mountains, my kids, my dog, my life. Moments strung together, perfectly ordinary, absolutely extraordinary… a life full of love and gratitude 365 days a year.

Hope to see you over on Instagram!

A newbie’s guide to getting started with Instagram

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Sheep Shearer’s Children In Lake Tahoe

Posted on May 18, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

William Bolt was my two-times great grandfather. An adventurous spirit, as a young man in the late 1880s he traveled back and forth from St. Louis, Missouri to Laramie, Wyoming with his cousin Harry to work as sheep shearers. Lucky for me, his passion for storytelling compelled him to keep a detailed journal of his escapades – most notably falling in love with my two-times great grandmother, Mollie King.

I caught my breath when I came across his entries about one of my favorite places in the world, Lake Tahoe. His descriptions of the early days of Reno, Truckee and Lake Tahoe made my heart swell; what a tremendous gift to know we walk the same path. I now know for sure that there’s a special reason the Universe calls us there so often. I’m sharing an excerpt from his journal; sometime soon, I will flesh out his stories for all to enjoy.

Winter, 1883

We are climbing the Sierra Nevada mountains. I ride most of the time on top of the freight cars. We stop for a long time at Reno, a rough town. Harry and I leave the train at Truckee. Smith goes on to California to spend the winter with relatives. Harry heard we could get a job of early shearing near Lake Tahoe. We stayed around Truckee a couple of days, a sort of a lumber camp of saloons and gambling houses and I could always see a bunch of Indians and white men sitting on the ground gambling. The Truckee River runs through there, a raging torrent all the way from Lake Tahoe. I seen some Indian women fishing. I went to them – they had a fire of only a couple of sticks and they catch a fish, hold it over the fire a minute, then give it to the little children. I seen them little two year old Indians eat the fish just the way it was and the only thing they threw away was the head and tail.

Harry had arranged with the stage driver to take us up to Lake Tahoe which is about 15 or 20 miles away. We could always count on Harry to plan everything without trouble or expense. He had a way of talking to everybody and always made friends and we always traveled as workers. We rode on top of the stage up through the mountains to the lake. The scenery was grand. Where we wanted to go was about six miles from headquarters – a yacht was going to our landing that took the mail and of course, Harry had him take us and our big roll of blankets. It was a grand ride. Lake Tahoe is so large you can scarcely see across it and they say there is no bottom. The Indians are afraid to go on it because if you went down you never came up – even the wood goes to the bottom. I can see a stack of wood laying on the bottom . The water is so clear we can see to a great depth.

When we got to our landing we found out there was no shearing to be done. The owner of the camp would like us to work for him. Harry told him we would stay a few days and work for our expenses. Our job was snaking in logs and we lived with the timber men. The fishing is very fine. We just go out a few short distance from shore in a boat and drop a hundred foot line and catch Speckled Mountain trout.

The time came to take the yacht back again. Sailing in a yacht was new to us – it was very grand on that beautiful lake on top of the mountains, then the stage ride back to Truckee.

This post was inspired by The Mapmaker’s Children by Sarah McCoy, a novel about two women are connected by an Underground Railroad doll. Join From Left to Write on May 19th as we discuss The Mapmaker’s Children. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Love Makes Your Soul Crawl Out

Posted on May 12, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

“Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.”

– Zora Neale Hurston

Parenting teenagers is hard. No way around it. I’ve yet to meet a parent who will claim otherwise; oh yes, there are varying degrees of ‘hardness’, and we all have different struggles with our children. But the bottom line is, parenting – if you do it right – requires a recipe of courage, persistence, patience, kindness, empathy, hope, prayer, and the belief that all things are possible.

I’m parenting teenager number two right now – his older sister is safely off to college and finding her way. One of the lovely aspects of having one child of each sex is just that – enjoying the nuances that each one brings both due to and despite their gender.

Child number one – she hated to be alone. It was her worst type of cruel-and-unusual punishment.

Child number two – he loves it. Maybe it’s that he’s all at once so much like me, and at the same time, so much how I would like to be.

That makes parenting hard – to fault him for the very same parts of myself that crave introspection and quiet – the parts of him that test my patience, have my empathy and require hope, faith, and the belief in possibility.

And every day, because of my child, my soul crawls out from its hiding place.

Love catches me unaware like that.

And still, I keep trying.

Sometimes I end up sideways or crumpled in confusion.

Sometimes I get “it” right – and before I can even high-five myself – “it” morphs into something unexpected.

And through it all, I write “it” down. I photograph “it”, trying to somehow remember what it felt like and how I can capture it forever, the extraordinary ordinariness of our days that forces my soul outside of its hiding place for everyone to see.

Today I’m sharing an original piece on my favorite parenting web site, BonBon Break. I’d love it if you click over and read my Early Morning Love Note To My Son, and let me know what you think.

I kind of left my soul out there for you to take a look.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

What Teachers Really Want For Teacher Appreciation Week

Posted on May 4, 2015 by Jennifer Wolfe

What Teachers Really Want For Teacher Appreciation Week

I walked into my classroom this morning a bit groggy and bleary-eyed from a terrific weekend – a weekend not spent grading or lesson planning, but instead, spent with my daughter on a surprise early Mother’s Day weekend visit. There’s nothing easy about teaching first period English in junior high school – the only thing just a touch harder is teaching LAST period English – so I typically start the class with a bit of relationship building, often my best bit of comedy for the day.

“Wait – what are you all doing here today? It’s Monday of Teacher Appreciation Week – didn’t anyone tell you?” I quipped.

Moments of sheer panic washed over their face as they momentarily thought maybe they’d missed a sleep-in day.

“You were supposed to stay home today! But I’m really not surprised – you’re such dedicated, hard-working students, I know you wouldn’t want to miss a Monday with Mrs. Wolfe!”

Eyes rolled at this point.

“And I need to thank you all, for being on time this Monday morning – every single one of you,” I continued as they giggled and called out the names of the habitual sleepy heads. Another not-so-easy feat for junior high school students who would rather sleep than do almost anything else.

“Thank you for getting Teacher Appreciation Week off to such a great start. Now, as long as you’re here, let’s get to work.”

More eye-rolling, and a few whispers of “Wait – it’s Teacher Appreciation Week? I didn’t get you anything!” later, we were rolling along with our book v. movie analysis graphic organizers.

The day just kind of chugged along today, and aside from the coffee and baked goodies in the staff room, it was a pretty typical Monday in middle school. I kept thinking back to first period, and how much I love those moments away from the curriculum when I can really get to know the kids; as any middle school teacher will tell you, it’s all about having the kids connect with you before they connect with the content. I thought about what really keeps me going, year after year, when education is becoming more complicated and complex and when new teachers are shying away from the profession, and veterans are wondering how much longer they can keep walking through their classroom door with a smile on their face.

So parents, if you’re looking for a gift for Teacher Appreciation Week, I’ve got you covered:

1. Teachers want to hear how their teaching connects with their students’ lives.

Often, I’ll tell my students that when their parent asks them what they ‘did’ at school today, instead of saying ‘nothing’, they can explain they learned what dramatic irony is, or quiz their parents on the definition of pusillanimous, or ask them how the Reconstruction period connects with #blacklivesmatter in 2015. My students usually groan, roll their eyes a bit, and go on with their work. And honestly, I’m often left wondering how much they actually bring home to you. Did they tell you about our ‘essential question’ today, or that they learned the difference between dramatic, verbal, and situational irony? Could they share the staggering statistics they read about 21st-century slavery, and that their shirt was made in a country that utilizes child-labor? Do they have their ‘light bulb’ moments at the dinner table, or driving home from soccer practice? For Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to know what they tell you about our class and their learning – it would really make me smile.

2. Teachers want to have former students contact them.

Last week as I was sitting at my desk after school, one of my former students walked through my door. He was man-sized, which always means I need a moment to register them in their post-junior-high-aged body. I welcomed him back, asked how old he was and what he was doing. He told me 19, and that he was enrolled at the university. As I congratulated him, he said, “You know, I wanted to tell you that I’m actually going there because of your class. When you took us on that field trip to the campus and showed us around, I could picture myself there. It was because of you.”

I could hardly hold back the tears. Six years later, for him to come back to tell me that, made my heart swell. It made all the hassle of field trip forms, parent drivers, and permission slips worthwhile. For teachers, seeing our students growing up and turning into happy humans is all the appreciation we need.

3. Teachers want more time.

I have multiple student interns working in my classroom – not only is it good for young college students to see the power of teaching, but it’s equally beneficial for my students to have more ‘helpers’ and adults to see as role models. My interns help me with the most sought-after teacher gift of all – the gift of time. I don’t know an educator (especially my English teacher colleagues) who wouldn’t celebrate with the gift of more minutes to create curriculum, contact parents, grade papers, learn how to use new technology…the list is endless. Our teaching days are like the crack of a starter’s pistol at 8:00 a.m., and when the final bell rings 7 hours later, we’re lucky to have a moment to sit down before attending meetings, making copies, cleaning the room and checking email. And that’s all before we go home with our bulging bags of papers to grade – the other part of our job. For Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to have just a bit more time to make your child’s learning experience that much more exciting and relevant.

4. Teachers want to know they matter.

Above all, for Teacher Appreciation Week, I’d love to know that I’m appreciated. For some reason, teachers seem to be taking a huge hit in the media over the last few years. Most of the teachers I know didn’t start teaching because they wanted to make life harder for their students and their families. They didn’t start teaching because they felt it was their responsibility to become substitute parents, or to give failing grades or to do anything except make a difference in the life of a child. Teachers are service-oriented professionals who, for the most part, want to earn enough money to support their family, live in their community, send their own children to college and at the end of the day, know that their tired brains and stacks of papers to grade are worth it because they matter in the life of a child.

Parents, put down the Starbuck’s card, and instead, please try one of these ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week. I guarantee they’ll be the best present that teacher ever received.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Related articles