Hang On

It’s too early in the school year to be doing this.  To be tying a knot, night after night, hoping to strengthen my line.  Willing myself to lengthen my line, to make myself a better person.  A better teacher.  Friend.  Wife.  Mother.

To push myself to grow, to learn, to excel, to serve.

To not let go.  To not listen to them.  Knot by knot.

Twenty-four days into the vastness of it all.  One hundred fifty-six more to go.  Knot after knot after knot.  Tears.  Smiles.  Laughter.  Success.  Setbacks.  I will myself upward.

The rope strengthens as I work through it, as I twist and turn and weave new fibers in.  The knots unravel, slowly, and I pull harder and harder, determined they will hold.  Determined that I will not be broken.  I will not fall.  I will not get to the end alone.  I will not.  let. go.

 I will not let you down.  I will use all my strength, pull myself up, twist it, squeeze my eyes shut and will myself higher.  I will slide, slowly, my skin burning as I go down and then – SNAP!

I hover, suspended mid-air, forced to decide the next direction.  I move up, sometimes slowly, sometimes strengthened by the boost of another.  Knot after knot, I grip, grasp, groan my way upwards.

I’m almost there.

I can see the end of the rope.

I will hang on.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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  1. Jennifer, My son just started high school (after a lifetime at home), and he quickly realized that school is not a 180 day marathon. It’s a three week by three week sprint. Our school system sends home progress reports every three weeks. All by himself, he figured out that if he just looks at the next three weeks, he is not overwhelmed. Maybe that will help your knots? Thanks for being a passionate teacher who really wants the best for her students!

  2. Jennifer, you hang on! Your post is just what I needed. Going through something similar, your words are like a hug that I needed (that I didn’t know I needed). I’m inspired now. Thank you. Gotta go now to tie some knots & try to move upward.

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