It’s too early in the school year to be doing this. To be tying a knot, night after night, hoping to strengthen my line. Willing myself to lengthen my line, to make myself a better person. A better teacher. Friend. Wife. Mother.
To push myself to grow, to learn, to excel, to serve.
To not let go. To not listen to them. Knot by knot.
Twenty-four days into the vastness of it all. One hundred fifty-six more to go. Knot after knot after knot. Tears. Smiles. Laughter. Success. Setbacks. I will myself upward.
The rope strengthens as I work through it, as I twist and turn and weave new fibers in. The knots unravel, slowly, and I pull harder and harder, determined they will hold. Determined that I will not be broken. I will not fall. I will not get to the end alone. I will not. let. go.
I will not let you down. I will use all my strength, pull myself up, twist it, squeeze my eyes shut and will myself higher. I will slide, slowly, my skin burning as I go down and then – SNAP!
I hover, suspended mid-air, forced to decide the next direction. I move up, sometimes slowly, sometimes strengthened by the boost of another. Knot after knot, I grip, grasp, groan my way upwards.
I’m almost there.
I can see the end of the rope.
I will hang on.
Jennifer Wolfe
Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.
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Comments: 18
Sopian Edy
October 3, 2012PSSTTT…..BIG PROFIT
BIG PROFIT HERE
My Inner Chick
September 28, 2012You must be an AMAZING teacher! Xxx I love your Passion. Without it, we have NOTHING.
Jennifer Wolfe
September 29, 2012And without it, I have nothing, either. Thank you.
dusty katt
September 28, 2012This saying hung on the wall over my desk for years. As long as you keep hanging on all will be well.
Jennifer Wolfe
September 29, 2012I agree…and keep tightening those knots when they loosen up!
Mommys Juice
September 26, 2012Great post, and nice to know there are teachers like yourself out there!
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012Thank you! I do love my job!
The Detox Diva
September 26, 2012Wow, that is a powerful piece of imagery! It’s inspirational “watching” you climb that rope of knots! I love how you always strive to be better!
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012Oh, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!
mail4rosey
September 26, 2012The knots visual does make a positive impact!
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012I just love that quote – it inspires me!
Life by Cynthia
September 26, 2012Jennifer, you hang on! Your post is just what I needed. Going through something similar, your words are like a hug that I needed (that I didn’t know I needed). I’m inspired now. Thank you. Gotta go now to tie some knots & try to move upward.
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012Cynthia, I’m glad we could connect…and that my thoughts might help you, too. Best of luck to you!
Cynthia
September 26, 2012This comment has been removed by the author.
Family Travels on a Budget
September 26, 2012Jennifer, My son just started high school (after a lifetime at home), and he quickly realized that school is not a 180 day marathon. It’s a three week by three week sprint. Our school system sends home progress reports every three weeks. All by himself, he figured out that if he just looks at the next three weeks, he is not overwhelmed. Maybe that will help your knots? Thanks for being a passionate teacher who really wants the best for her students!
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012Karen, what a bright son you have! He’s right…chunking things out often makes them more manageable. I’ll give it a try.
Mommy Roxi
September 26, 2012Oh gosh, I can see myself thinking of the same things when I go back to school. So much patience, faith, and strength needed.
Jennifer Wolfe
September 27, 2012Roxi, you’re right – patience, faith and strength are what I rely on every day.