change

Friday Photo: Change

Posted on January 20, 2012 by

change

This is how my son sees himself:
Invincible.
Capable.
Brave.

He can hang from trees, climb rocks, take down an intruder
and
fly down a ski course.
He can run fast and think hard.
This is how I see my son:
Gentle.
Intelligent.
Fearless.
He can snuggle his dog, play the piano, help a stranger
and
make lemon pasta.
He can think fast and run hard.
He is still a little boy, yet almost a little man.
Change is hard.
Fascinating.
Frustrating.
Beautiful.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Driving Lessons Part One: The Early Years

Posted on January 18, 2012 by

“Well, at least now I know not to floor it going into the driveway while cutting off people and scraping the front of the car on the curb,” my 15 year old daughter reflected after putting the car into park.

We all know that this day is coming.  Parents are always marking off the milestones with our children-first tooth, first steps, first words, first day of school, first loose tooth, first ….driving lesson?

I decided to handle this milestone by putting the responsibility with my daughter.  If she wanted to drive, she needed to be mature and responsible enough to make it happen.  She would be obligated to research the online driver’s training course, sign up and complete the requirements.  All I needed to do was provide the credit card number.

So she did.

Then it was time to take the written test.  Again, the ball was in her court.  She must research the hours of the DMV, figure out how to set up an appointment, make the appointment, study for the test and then show up and take it.  All I needed to do was drive her there.

So she did.

Turns out the written test wasn’t as easy as she thought.  She needed to figure out a different way to study and approach the test.  All I needed to do was buy the DMV app from iTunes.  That would buy me a few more weeks.

So I did.

I have a determined sort of daughter, it turns out.  She studied and studied and eventually passed. The look on her face when she realized that she had gotten 100% was one I’ll never forget!  My elation diminished quickly when I realized the next step: behind the wheel.

Again, she had to do the set up.  Some might call this denial on my part – I call it strategy.  Each step she accomplished on her own showed me that she was mature enough to handle driving, and allowed me a bit of time to get used to the idea.

When the day came for her first lesson I trembled with nervousness like she was going on her first date.  Her white haired instructor, Luther, pulled up and quickly took her to his car.  This milestone wasn’t as satisfying as her first word or her first steps.  This one stung a little.

After what seemed like hours sitting in the driveway behind the wheel, she slowly backed out and drove off.  My baby-behind the wheel of a bright blue Honda.

Two hours later she returned.  No bumps or bruises or tear stains on her face.  Her coy smile told me everything went ok, and Luther confirmed it.  “A bit fast on the turns” was his only comment, aside from telling me that she now NEEDED TO DRIVE EVERY TIME WE GOT IN THE CAR!

What?  Did I hear him correctly?  Every time?  There must be some other way…some type of driving simulator? My little red Prius doesn’t have a driver’s side set of brakes-how will I survive?

Like her first steps, her first words and the first day of school, I survived.  The fear of the unknown haunts me as a parent.  I knew what life was like when she could only crawl, would make baby signs for things she needed, or was only in preschool part of the day.  I could never imagine how it could be any better than that moment, or how any age could me more special.  But somehow, it was, and so is she.

Watching my first baby behind the wheel makes me think about all the lessons she’s learned in the last 15 years.  She has learned the confidence it took to research the driving school.  She has learned the responsibility it took to complete the online course.  She has learned the determination it took to keep studying for the written test.  She learned the poise it took to drive off in an unknown car with a strange man.  And she’s learned that her mom trusts her enough to put her in charge of a lethal weapon – my little red Prius.

I hope she is learning how much I believe in her.  I know she can do anything she sets her mind to.

To be continued…

mamawolfe spends her days teaching and parenting, and her nights writing about it.  
Visit her blog mamawolfe for more life lessons and opinions on the world today

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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What Martin Luther King Jr. Means To Me

Posted on January 16, 2012 by

Martin Luther King JrI was just barely three years old when Martin Luther King Jr. was killed.  That makes my life one that has really never had a first hands understanding of what his struggle was like.  I have never known a time when there wasn’t such a thing as the Civil Rights Movement.  I have never seen ‘separate but equal’.  I have never seen signs for ‘coloreds’ or ‘whites’.  I have never known a world when I couldn’t have black friends, go to school alongside black schoolmates, or date a black man.

That’s not to say that MLK’s dreams of a day when ‘children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character’ plays true in every part of our American society, let alone our world.

But what it does say is what Martin Luther King Jr. means to me.

1.  History

With his death, I learned not to let history repeat itself.  I will not live my life allowing others to demean or discriminate based on race, sex, religion, sexual preference or any other criteria.

2.  Family

After MLK Jr. died, his daughter Yolanda began the crusade to keep his legacy alive.  Much of what he stood for revolved around his dreams for his family.  He taught them well – Yolanda’s dream of a national holiday in honor of his father is the reason we celebrate today.

3.  Service

Martin Luther KingMartin Luther King Jr. was a man who served his country.  Not every man or woman serves the same way, for the same reasons.  MLK taught me to work for social justice and to carry that value on to my children, and the children I serve every day in the classroom.

4.  Opportunity

As a white woman I have never experienced racial discrimination.  I can only imagine the incredible frustration and anger one must feel when denied opportunity due to the color of one’s skin.  Because of MLK opportunities were opened for those who never imagined they would.

5.  Wisdom

MLK made people think.  He made people act.  He made people remember him.  He made people wiser.

6.  Education

Before MLK education was not equal.  Black children were held hostage due to lack of equal access to knowledge.  Students were empowered to act and demand the right to the same quality of schooling being given to whites. Now, other underrepresented groups are standing up to be heard.

7.  Hope

Martin Luther King showed the world that if you dream it, you can become it.  He provided hope for minorities, women, men and children who knew that they could be better, could do better, could live better than they were.

Martin Luther King Jr MemorialSo today, as we honor a man who truly inspired a nation and influenced generations to come, please pause and think of what Martin Luther King Jr. means to you.  Give thanks for his life and vision and lessons of peaceful protest.  And, if you can, try to imagine what our world would be like had he never held fast to his dreams.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Friday Photo: Some Soup and a Story

Posted on January 14, 2012 by


“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

For a moment on Wednesday night, I was worried.  20 freshmen and sophomores, gas stoves, sharp knives and the need to prepare and serve dinner for 40+ people in less than an hour?  I questioned my choices.

As my students trickled into the shelter that night I quickly jumped into teacher mode and soon had the industrial sized kitchen humming with activity.  Onions were chopped, meat was browning, cornbread was mixing up and tables were being set. 

Little by little, my nervousness was replaced by problem solving.  No measuring cup? No problem – use an app to convert cups to tablespoons.  No, I don’t know how to use an industrial sized coffee maker – find someone to help you. And they did.

After a while, any passerby might have thought these kids were running the kitchen of the best restaurant in town.  They were even wiping up after themselves!  As they cooked they bonded with each other, and eased their own jitters about meeting the strangers waiting outside the door.

The real lesson came after the food was prepared and the homeless guests lined up to be served.  With eagerness and compassion, these children served men and women who were actually not so different from themselves. Slowly they ventured towards the dinner tables

Sitting side by side and sharing a meal broke down the scariness.  Stories began to move back and forth, child and adult bonding over simple food and a common desire to get to know each other’s story.  I stood back and watched the transformation, and beamed with pride at the acts of compassionate justice occurring before my eyes.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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She Was a Good Thing: My Love Affair With A VW

Posted on January 12, 2012 by

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Her name was Martha.  Not sure exactly why or how she earned that name, but it kind of stuck.  I got her when I was 17 – my senior year. My mom actually found her for sale, and I guess she thought her daughter needed a crazy convertible before she went off to college-I don’t remember the exact details, but I do recall driving to a house on

F Street

where an older man (he was probably about 50-ha!) was trying to sell her.  He had been towing her behind his RV when he traveled, but her time had come.  She was young and ready for adventure, and she needed someone who could keep up with her.

As I drove off in her the first time, black vinyl top folded back, I thought I had really made it.  Here I was, a young northern Californiagirl with my own convertible!  Forget the fact that her removable windows were made of plastic vinyl, the propane heater wouldn’t work, the radio only played AM, and the metal on the floorboard was the only thing keeping road debris from bouncing into the car-she was mine.  All 1972 top of the line VW Thing.  Bumblebee yellow, black vinyl, chrome bumpers made of steel – she and I were a force to be reckoned with. 
There was another girl – Randy was her name.  She moved into town that year.   Not only was she super cool, but she had a yellow Thing too!  We soon became bestfriends-it seemed like fate had brought us together.  Double trouble, long haired, fun loving, boy crazy TAB swigging B-52 Violent Femmes bopping around in matching convertibles.  Only in California, right? 
Times change, and Martha and I headed off to college at the end of the summer, leaving our partner in crime to fend for herself in the hometown. Suited up with Alva sticker and surfboard ready,and with the coast now under an hour’s drive away, Martha became the beach mobile.  The removable plug in her floorboard was handy for washing out sand and debris after our escapades.  I soon learned that cruising over the hill to Santa Cruz and back required vigilance with the gas tank-more than once I found myself stranded by the side of the road with nothing to do but wait for help to find me.  Big band and talk radio became my best companions on those foggy morning drives.
Then one day, Randy arrived on campus.  Our funny vintage clothes and crazy colored matching cars were like nothing these college kids had ever seen before.  In a parking lot full of expensive foreign cars, this new girl stuck out.  The first night the boy’s dorm slipped out and removed our driver’s side doors – yes, they detached at the hinges – and choked with laughter as we struggled in the morning to get our keys to fit in the locks.  I hate bullies.
The next summer Martha, Randy, her Thing and I decided we would live in San Diego.  To us, young, energetic and ambitious, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  We loaded up our clothes, hung an ironing board out the window and headed south on I-5 towards our promised land.  Two girls, two convertibles – what could be more ideal?  The stares we received were legendary – probably in part due to the premade signs we had that we would flash to each other like signal beacons.  A few passers by flashed us back a few things, too.

Traveling to Rosarita Beach, Mexicowas one of Martha’s favorite adventures.  Roomy enough to stretch out, she became our kitchen, dressing area and hotel room.  I think we really pushed her to her limits there-she was glad we all made it out alive. 
There were a few downsides with Martha.  She was freezing cold in the winter-driving over the Grapevine in December wrapped in a sleeping bag was not my ideal start to Christmas vacation.  She was noisy-the wind whistled through the removable windows making it nearly impossible to sing over the racket.  And she was brittle.  Like any lady, she aged gracefully but began to show wear and tear in her plastic top and windows.
Martha survived a few fender benders-the steel helped a bit.  My little brother’s head was hard enough to crack her windshield, but her strong bumpers never bent.  The last straw came one windy, rainy afternoon when, while driving down the freeway with my future husband, Martha’s back windshield imploded sending shards of rock hard plastic flying into the back of our heads.  Boyfriend, who never succumbed to Martha’s charms, began a ‘get rid of that damn car’ campaign.
Stupidly I agreed, and Martha went to live with my uncle and his 16-year-old son.  She was definitely showing her age – years of hard living will do that to a girl.  With a new engine transplant, though, Martha was able to embark on many happy adventures with him for years. She tried to live up to her reputation – beach trips, screaming up and down the SF hills hoping the mediocre brakes would hold, hauling band equipment, and roaring down I-5 to San Diego with her new man.  Kind of like a mid-life crisis, I guess you could say.  Life was good for Martha for a few more years.
Sadly, Martha moved on to yet another fellow.  I’ve heard he’s a real nice guy and treats her well.  They live somewhere in the Bay Area.  Rumor has it she’s had a total makeover-sure to breathe new life into the old gal.  It happens to the best of us.
I wonder what he calls her. 

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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