Weeding

Posted on May 10, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

“All gardeners live in beautiful places because they make them so.”

– Joseph Joubert

Some days it feels like weeds are overtaking my life. Those dreary March and April days spent looking out my window made me ache to smush my hands in the dirt, prune back the overgrown branches, and clear out winter’s accumulated debris. It’s not very beautiful out there.

Now that the sun is shining and I’ve had a few solid weekends in the garden, I’m questioning my eagerness. Everywhere I go, I encounter weeds. The unwanted stuff, the clutter, the dead relationships and outgrown friendships bog up my mind and consume my free space. It’s not very beautiful in here.

They creep up next to the stepping stone, through the sprinkler heads, and crowd my lavender bushes. They sneak next to the day lilies, snake their way up the Japanese maple’s tender stems, and root themselves firmly and cleverly amidst the heirloom roses. They consume my free time, crowd my in box and rest on empty spaces.

Depending on my mood, I pull, or dig, or bust out the sprays when I just can’t get a handle on them. Some days I carefully unwind them, desperate to leave the host unharmed. Other days, lack of patience gets the best of me, and I curse and yank, decimating both simultaneously.

As I’m down on my knees, I occasionally upend an earthworm and send him wiggling back into the soil, or startle a mourning dove feasting on scattered seed. Sometimes I unearth a new bloom, resilient from the winter’s frost. Or an abandoned baseball, leather long gone. Sometimes I close my eyes and breathe in and out, searching for an answer.

Plowing through the weeds gives me time to think, to meditate, to wonder about what might emerge next. I strategize, sensitize, and surrender to what is yet to come. Sometimes I just sink.

Pushing through winter’s debris to uncover, to create some breathing room, I sense an opening, a space for clarity. I see progress, I sense some control. I inhale, exhale, and look around me. Blooms, new growth, and possibility are in sight.

Just for today, a little bit of beauty, made by me.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

The Bullies, Bullied and Bystanders: Which One Is Mine?

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

via Photobucket

55 middle school students and I crowded into our local movie theater this week, not sure what we would experience. Our group was a combination of kids from several classes at school, mixed ages, races, and genders, but the common thread that pulled us together was our experiences with bullying.

I don’t think there’s a person alive who hasn’t felt bullied. Sadly, it seems to be part of the human experience. And it’s not just kids that bully-I’ve experienced adults bullying kids as well as other adults. Working in schools as long as I have might have made my bully radar more heightened than most, but I still remember the childhood feeling of wanting to melt into the earth rather than be the last one chosen for a team, or the criticism for how I dressed or how quietly I spoke. I remember my high school classmate who died at the hands of a bully.

In fact, bullying has reached such epidemic levels that some independent filmmakers followed kids with video cameras for a year, inside and outside of school, to document exactly what is happening with bullying in America. The resulting film,“Bully”, is heartbreaking, terrifying, and leaves the audience wondering what to do next.

via Photobucket

It didn’t take long for the mood in the theater to change from excitement to shock. Watching regular, American kids experience verbal, physical and emotional abuse on the big screen made my popcorn unappealing, and had me reaching for a tissue. I felt my body convulse with sobs as I watched Ty’s parents bury their 11-year-old son, a boy who reminds me so much of my own. As his mother, nearly comatose, rocked in his bedroom, wondering what she could have done to prevent his suicide, it was more than I could take. I wanted to scream at the screen, lash out at the pathetic creatures who taunted this little boy day after day until he felt, at 11 years old, his life wasn’t worth living. What person has the right to inflict this type of torture on another human being?

During our debrief after the film, my students kept coming back to the parents. How could they not have known what was happening? And what kind of parents would raise children to think that this type of behavior was acceptable? I wonder myself, if the parents of bullies even have an idea of what their kids are doing to other children. Do they think that they’ve raised their son or daughter to be intolerant of differences, to be an aggressor, to be a bully? And do they feel responsible for their child’s actions, even the slightest, when they find out that the baby they raised has turned into someone who takes joy in bringing others pain?

And I wonder about the parents of those who are bullied. Do they know what their child endures every day as they ride the bus to school, walk the halls, or eat in the lunchroom? Is their child ashamed to share their experience as a victim? I wonder what I would do if my son or daughter came home and told me that they never wanted to go back to school, that they had no friends, and they didn’t want to face another day.

Days later, these thoughts continue to clog my brain. I tuck my 12-year-old son into bed at night, and wonder why and how he’s escaped this torture. I watch my 15-year-old daughter, weary with studying, and wonder how she has escaped the cyber bullying. And then I wonder, do I really know what’s going on with them? Do they see this happening at school? Are they bullied? A bully? A bystander?

I tell myself all is well, I’m doing my job, and they are safe.

I wonder if Ty’s parents thought that, too.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Friday Photo: On First Glance

Posted on May 5, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

On first glance

It’s just ordinary.

Nothing spectacular

Or splendid.

Just petal, tendril and stem

One just like the other.

On first glance

He’s just ordinary.

Nothing unusual

Or magnificent.

Just flesh, bone and skin

One just like the other.

On second glance

It’s a bit different.

Something unusual

Or just eye-catching enough

To stop and look

Closer.

On second glance

He’s a little curious.

Someone uncommon

Or just atypical enough

To stop and look

Closer.

And when you do

Stop

Look

Smell

Pause

And linger,

You find something ethereal

Breathtaking

Dazzling

Someone miraculous

Distinct

And courageous.

And on your next glance

You hesitate

Gazing

Penetrating

Someone or something

So much more alive

And

Exquisite

Than you ever imagined

Possible.

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Education Issues April, 2012

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

via Pinterest

Last month, education made the news daily. At this time of year, school districts are winding down and gearing up at the same time. Educators are finding it hard to keep motivated in the face of declining support from state governments for our profession. Parents are celebrating their children’s college acceptance letters while wondering where the tuition money will come from.

These controversial education issues weighed on me last month. It’s not an easy time to be a parent or an educator. I think it’s time to start thinking like Einstein, and come up with some new solutions, don’t you? What do you think about schools using advertising to increase revenue, computerized teaching, grading systems, and the cost of college? Just follow the link to read the full articles – I’d love to hear your thoughts!

On school advertising: Imagine walking into your child’s school and seeing the expected: a lunchroom with folding tables and bench seats, a stage, the office doors, a lost and found box, lockers, classrooms, and a blacktop with basketball courts.

Now imagine your child’s school with a lunchroom advertising on the tables endorsing eating habits and nutrition, a stage with offers for drama education, office doors advertising organizational skills, classrooms endorsing local services, and a blacktop with banners on school safety.

Many public schools today, searching for innovative funding sources, are considering advertising on their campus. Should schools allow ads on school grounds?

On computerized teaching: It’s an educator’s worst nightmare: technology. I’m not talking about the common, everyday kinds of technology that our students carry in their pockets, or we use to read our emails.

I’m talking about the kind of technology that is replacing teachers.

In Virginia Tech’s largest classroom teachers are not required. Can teachers really be replaced by computers?

On grading practices: How does a student know when a teacher likes them? How does a teacher show they like a student? These were the questions I grappled with this week with a freshman AVID student.

While making my rounds in the classroom, I overheard him saying, “Why does she hate me so much? She never gives me 100% on my work. She doesn’t think my answers are good enough. She says other people’s questions are better than mine.” As I walked up and stood behind him, he sensed my presence and stopped. Do you think simply completing a school assignment should earn an “A”?

On the cost of a college education: When I entered the University of California at Berkeley in 1987 as an English major, I really wasn’t thinking about the high cost of education. Tuition was under $2,000 per year; add in books and living expenses and I still wasn’t coming close to what today’s students face. In 2011, tuition costs were up to $12,834 for California residents, and $35,712 for out-of-state students.

Two senior UC Davis students working as tutors in my public school classroom report they will graduate with $14,000 and $20,000 in student loans, despite having entered college with scholarships and their work study jobs.

Something is wrong with this system. What if we did something crazy, and offered free UC tuition?

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:

Friday Photo: Learning Through Community Service

Posted on April 27, 2012 by Jennifer Wolfe

How do our kids learn about the world? Do they read the newspaper? Listen to the radio? Travel outside their hometown?

I’m raising my children in the same university town where I grew up. It’s very safe, educated, liberal and has excellent schools. We take advantage of the healthy environment, youth activities, and culture that comes with living in a college town.

But I remember when I graduated from high school here and moved to the ‘city’ back in the 80s, I felt that I had broken through a glass bubble. My eyes were opened in a way that I’m sure is common to most college freshmen, but I quickly realized that there was a HUGE world that I had simply never been exposed to.

One of the dangers of raising kids in a community like mine is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, sense of entitlement. That is terrifying to me. While my husband and I are both well educated, we chose professions of service, not salary. We try to teach our children about the value of our Earth, the value of a dollar, and the value of a human being as our highest values.

Last weekend, after the campus Picnic Day celebration, we packed up garbage bags, water and layered on sunscreen and headed to our local arboretum to clean up after the crowds. As we walked along the creek we were pleasantly surprised that the grounds were nearly litter free.

To my surprise and delight, my son urged us to move a new location where we could actually find garbage.

We weren’t disappointed with our next stop-Community Park offered a huge selection. Despite the heat, we hunted for debris big and small.

When we’d filled our bags and added a broken down chair, we declared ourselves done. As we hopped on our bikes and headed home, my son chattered with delight the entire way about what we’d done. Not only did he return with an beat up, ratty old ball as a souvenir, but he also learned that even a kid can serve his world through small acts in his community.

I think that’s a step in the right direction towards bursting the bubble, don’t you?

Jennifer Wolfe

More Posts - Website

Follow Me: