Teaching Middle School: My Dream Job

Posted on March 17, 2014 by Jennifer Wolfe

As I was driving home after a 13-hour day last week, it occurred to me that I had just hosted my twenty-fourth Open House. And boy, was I tired.

Yep-I’ve been teaching middle school for that long. I started teaching long before I had children – I wasn’t even married yet! I started teaching before cell phones, in a ‘technology school’ which boasted a cutting edge sort of network for computers, and we all had to learn how to email. When I went home, I used DOS to create spreadsheets for grades, and couldn’t even imagine an instance when my students might contact me at home after work on it.

Times have changed, but my love for my job hasn’t. I think I have a dream job. Some people think I’m crazy for teaching 7th and 8th graders for this long. They call me things like ‘saint’, and tell me how grateful they are for me – and that they could never ‘do what I do’.

To be honest, they’re probably right. It takes a certain kind of craziness to do what I do every day. to give you an idea, imagine walking into your job and being bombarded from the moment you open the door. Yes, I’m a question answering queen. I hear explanations, excuses, and sometimes even legitimate questions about what happened inbetween the time they last saw me and the moment I stopped gulping down my thermos of coffee. And then the day begins. From 8:00 until whenever I can crawl out the door (usually between 4 and 5), I am surrounded by kids in the throes of puberty. They are self-conscious, funny, silly, frustrating, and thought-provoking. They make me a better human, and most certainly a better parent.

Teaching has taught me to create strong boundaries, to protect my personal life and value my job as a mother just as much as my job in the classroom. There’s been a few times I quit teaching – both because I started to feel that I was spending so much time with other people’s kids, I was going to end up with problems with my own.

Back in the early nineties, before I had kids, every year one of my 7th grade students got pregnant. It shocks me then the same as it shocks me now-especially when I think that that child could be having their own child by now. I so clearly remember the first time one of my girls, Tiffany, brought in her baby to show me. She had always been one of those students I worried about, and I guess my intuition was correct. I can still see her round, freckled face, tousled blonde hair and bright blue eyes as she pushed her stroller forward so I could take a look at her baby. Thinking back, I can’t remember what I said. I hope it didn’t show the shock and concern in my heart.

There are still days when I question what I’m doing. I wonder if I made the right choice all those years ago. Maybe I should have gone to law school, or taken a shot at writing. I’ll teach until it isn’t fun anymore, I remember telling myself. And then what? Teaching is my dream job for a multitude of reasons…but mainly because when I’m feeling sad, or thinking I cannot teach that novel one.more.time., something like this happens and makes me remember it’s all worth it. I’m sure lawyers don’t get notes like this.

This post was inspired by the novel The Divorce Papers by Susan Rieger. Young lawyer Sophie unwillingly takes her first divorce case with an entertaining and volatile client in this novel told mostly through letters and legal missives. Join From Left to Write on March 18 we discuss The Divorce Papers. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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A Leap of Faith

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Jennifer Wolfe

I don’t know if it’s just that time of the year that I’m feeling particularly vulnerable – maybe it’s more that time of life, that middle space where what always seemed so probable and certain has suddenly shifted. I’m feeling all at once teetering between so many worlds, so many lives, that every time I plant my feet down they sink, just the slightest bit – but not in a solid, comforting kind of way. In kind of a tenuous kind of way; that shifting of the sands of time that have always, always left me feeling hesitant towards change.

And everywhere I turn, the universe seems to be whispering to me. “Take a leap of faith, dear” swirls around my head in gossamer thin threads, taunting me to listen. It sings to me as I watch my daughter open college acceptance letters, and when she smiles, I know it’s time. It calls to me when I reunite with my son, after many days apart, and when he hugs me in his awkward teenage way, I know it’s near. I feel the vibration of change, that rhythmic sort of shudder that starts in my core and travels up my spine to rest in my head-where I promptly brush it off, dreaming for just one second that life will stay the same.

But I know that’s impossible.

This is the time of life when a leap of faith is the only available form of transportation. It’s the time to dream, to imagine, and to believe in possibility. It’s the time to run, skip, jump…to believe in what was meant to be, and to trust that what I open my heart and mind to will manifest.

It’s time to take a giant leap of faith, and hope for a soft landing.

Jennifer Wolfe

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Mikaela Shiffrin: An Original

Posted on February 22, 2014 by Jennifer Wolfe

DSC_0187 Mikaela Shiffrin (Photo credit: shiffski’13)

I don’t know what made me more nervous: watching Mikalea Shiffrin hurl down the women’s slalom course at Sochi, or watching her mom, Eileen, at the bottom of the course. While I”ve never raced a slalom course myself, I know all too well the anxiety of being a ski racer’s mom, watching your child lay it all out on the side of a mountain at high speeds. And let me tell you, it’s not an easy thing to watch.

Maybe that’s why every time I see the P&G Thank You Mom Olympics video tears start to stream down my face. I know all too well what it feels like to pick your kid up, wipe away the tears, ice the aches and pains, and start all over again the next day. Ski racing is not a sport for the faint of heart, the moderately committed child or the non-supportive parent.

I’ve written before about how impressed I am with Mikaela Shiffrin; when my son and I met her last year at Squaw Valley, she couldn’t have been more humble, gracious and down to earth. Success at a young age can certainly change a person, as we unfortunately see all too often in our celebrities like Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, so I was curious to see how Mikaela handled not only her rise to fame, but also the incredible pressure being put on her in an already pressure-filled sport. The world saw heavily favored Russian figure skater Yulia Lipnitskaya disappointing results. We watched Yuna Kim’s stoic tears of disappointment. But whenever interviewed, Mikaela seemed to have it together – win or lose, she was focused, calm and ready for whatever comes her way.

It’s that mental toughness, I’m convinced, that pulls her and any ski racer through the tough moments-those instants when one bobble can make the difference between flying through the finish, and tumbling down the hill. It’s that extreme focus that comes from hours and months and years of preparation that show them that win or lose, there’s always another day and another race. It’s that determination that reminds young athletes that this is only the beginning.

And that mental endurance, that persistence that makes the difference between commitment and collapse, is precisely why moms like Eileen Shiffrin and thousands of other parents support their young racers. 99% of athletes will never see the fame and notoriety of those we see in the Olympics. Our children may never reach the pinnacle of their dreams. They can wake up early, lug their gear through snowstorms and down through snow, ice and rain. They can sacrifice the typical teenage experiences like proms, football games and weekend sleepovers without any guarantee of the future. But if they can end up with the ability to believe in themselves, and the belief that determination will be the vehicle to success in life, I’m happy to wait at the bottom of the course. What’s that compared to a little stomach ache, when the results can end up like this:

For a couple of years, she’s heard people calling her the next Lindsey Vonn. After the race Friday night, a Slovenian reporter called her a young Tina Maze. “It’s amazing to be compared to them and I’m honored to be compared to them but I don’t want to be the young Tina Maze or the next Lindsey Vonn,” she said. “I want to be Mikaela Shiffrin and hopefully this gold medal is going to prove that.”

That’s all the thank you I really need.

U.S. teen Shiffrin wins slalom gold (photos) (yakimaherald.com)

Jennifer Wolfe

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True Beauty

Posted on February 17, 2014 by Jennifer Wolfe

“Now we make you ugly, my mother said. She whistled. Her mouth was so close she sprayed my neck with her whistle-spit. I could smell beer. In the mirror I watched her move the piece of charcoal across my face. It’s a nasty life, she whispered.”

~ from Prayers for the Stolen by Jennifer Clement

What is the definition of true beauty? I’ve often written about beauty; the beauty found in nature, the beauty of motherhood, and the beauty of simplicity populate this blog on a regular basis. I find my soul searching for beauty in the everyday moments of life, my heart clinging to those images that I fear will be simply flashes in an overly full life. Beauty, in my world, is found in the landscapes that surround me, the spirit of my children, and the thought that right now, this moment, is everything it needs to be.

But after reading Prayers for the Stolen, the opening quote above has lingered in my mind. What does true, human beauty look like, and how does it influence how we see the world, and how we interpret the moments of our lives?

Mary Wollstonecraft believed that “Taught from their infancy that beauty is woman’s scepter, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison.” Does physical beauty hinder a woman’s ability to be seen as an entity onto herself, trapping her in some sort of self-imposed prison? Our media would certainly have us believe the contrary; daily we are barraged by messages of power and strength born through a beautiful exterior, with intelligence and inner fortitude taking second place to air brushed images of ‘real women’ on our social media feeds.

A few years ago I wrote about Iran’s banning of the Barbie doll, and in some ways, I agreed with their attempts to squelch the stereotypical image of westernized beauty – in my own home, I had experienced a similar ‘banning’ of Barbie for my own daughter. Although not a fan of censorship in any form, their alternative to Barbie did seem more physically realistic. As a mother, I’ve attempted to create a home where strong, healthy bodies are honored and valued over what type of clothing or make up we adorn those bodies with. I’ve hoped that these words for my own daughter echo those of Eckhart Tolle when he reminds us that ‘If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” I want my daughter to harness the power of her inner beauty,blooming into a woman who is seen first as a beautiful human from the inside out.

I hold onto the hope that together, we can teach our girls that physical beauty is not the end goal of womanhood, and also that physical beauty doesn’t have to hinder us or force us into fallacious roles adopted out of some perceived societal expectations. I hope that our daughters will learn that true beauty burns from within, that beauty is no indicator of intelligence, and to truly grow into woman hood, as Mary Wollstonecraft reminds us, “[I]f we revert to history, we shall find that the women who have distinguished themselves have neither been the most beautiful nor the most gentle of their sex.” Beauty, in my world, has no bearing on success, happiness or an ability to chase our dreams. True beauty, in my world, comes from the inside out or the outside in. It really doesn’t matter how we get there, as long as we eventually find it.

This post was inspired by the novel Prayers for the Stolen by Jennifer Clement. Ladydi was grew up in rural Mexico, where being a girl is a dangerous thing.She and other girls were “made ugly” to keep protect them from drug traffickers and criminal groups. Join From Left to Write on February 18 we discuss Prayers for the Stolen. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Jennifer Wolfe

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Keeping Faith In Beginnings with Katrina Kenison

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Jennifer Wolfe

“…I allow, just for a moment, the past to push hard against the walls of my heart. Being alive, it seems, means learning to bear the weight of the passing of all things. It means finding a way to lightly hold all the places we’ve loved and left anyway, all the moments and days and years that have already been lived and lost to memory, even as we live on in the here and now, knowing full well that this moment, too, is already gone. It means, always, allowing for the hard truth of endings. It means, too, keeping faith in beginnings.”

~from The Gift of an Ordinary Day:A Mother’s Memoir by Katrina Kenison

Katrina Kenison’s Gift of an Ordinary Day

By the time I finished reading this quote, tears were rolling down my face. The journey of parenthood so often pushes us to places we never imagined, and throws us into moments that, if we truly pause and savor, teeter us on the brink of excruciatingly beauty, tenderness and often, just a touch of peril.

For me, reading The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison is like simultaneously savoring the taste of a fine chocolate, rolling around the decadent sweetness in my mouth, and wanting to devour it, hand over fist, to fill that need for connection to a writer who shares the universal experiences of motherhood, womanhood, and staying true to our dreams. After I read Mitten Strings For God: Reflections For Mothers In A Hurry about her life raising two very young boys, I instantly recognized a kindred spirit in Katrina Kenison – a spirit that I wished I had known when my children were in their early years. But for right now, as my teens explore their identities and their dreams, and as my husband and I attempt to parent them with the willingness to honor their dreams, The Gift of an Ordinary Day softens my soul and frequently leaves me in tears.

Thank you, Katrina Kenison, for being one step ahead of me on this journey, and for sharing your world with us.

Jennifer Wolfe

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