You’re Adulting Now: Thoughts On Love For My 21-Year-Old Daughter

Posted on July 5, 2017 by Jennifer Wolfe

I don’t want to go, but I know I can’t stay either. You see, you’re adulting now. You don’t need me in the way I thought you did, or that you used to.

I made a party for you last night. I felt like my own mother – hovering a little from the sidelines, content to be in the shadows of you and your friends adulting on the patio. How many times has my mom been there, behind the scenes, while I took the adulting spotlight?

I happily chopped veggies and cooked chicken in the crock pot all afternoon while you were at work. I baked a lemon cake and chatted with your roommate as we frosted it with whipped cream and berries, just like I used to when you were little.

You’re adulting now

I made blueberry and pineapple fruit ice cubes, but this time they were for sangria not lemonade, sliced oranges and got out the real wine glasses.

Later, I listened to your girlfriends chat about summer adventures abroad, pushing themselves when they were scared on the ski slopes, and what they dreamed their lives would be like.

They’ve got a bet going on who will get married first and who will become a Mom before everyone else.

They wonder how long it would take to create better male birth control and why couldn’t we elect a female president and how scary it must be to be a mom, all while sipping their sangria and laughing together.

You really are adulting now.

I made too much food. I really am feeling like my mom right about now, too. That’s a good thing. When I’ve been learning about adulting, my mom has been my greatest teacher. Anything I could or couldn’t do, she could do better. Always.

When I turned 21 my dad threw a big party for me in a restaurant. I ordered my first official cocktail – an old-fashioned – and wore a burgundy and black lace dress that matched my jet black hair. You dad was there, too, but just as my boyfriend. It was big and fun and loud and I remember my own dad smiling a lot. Grandparents, too.

I wasn’t sure how to honor you, though, at 21. It didn’t seem like all the “yo bitches” stuff I found online was quite appropriate. I’m a cool mom, but I have my limits. I couldn’t figure out how to get all the family together out in Salt Lake; one of the drawbacks of you living so far away is we can only visit in small groups.

Grandma has to settle with me texting her photos as we go.

Your grin when you saw the candles on your birthday cake wasn’t any different from when you were two or twelve. You smiled to celebrate you.

I love that every single one of your friends ate a big slice. #stronggirls.

I did the dishes quietly while you laughed outside and took your final photos, hearing your laughter through the screen door. I wasn’t quite sure how long to hang out with you all. We hugged goodbye to your friends with just a bit of sadness from me; I’ve no idea when I’ll see them again.

When the boys showed up I was already reading and ready for bed. I’m glad you fed them the leftovers and sat around the kitchen table. I could hear you teasing each other as I tried to give you some adult space- honestly, I wasn’t up for anymore adulting today.

And while your voices rose and fall through the closed door, I realized how you don’t need me anymore the way I thought you did. It’s not just the number 21 on a cake or the apartment key on your ring. You’re adulting now, like it or not.

You keep your own hours and earn two paychecks. Your friends leave at a reasonable hour to get rested before their “real” job starts on Monday morning. You do your dishes and put a cork on the wine bottle and make sure the front door is locked and the lights are out.

You plan to meet for happy hours after mountain biking and know the importance of eight hours of sleep before a work day. You offer me your bed instead of the couch, and your eyes smile when I tell you that for now, at least, the couch is fine.

I’ve only got five hours before I get on the plane and go back home. I want you to sleep but want to cuddle up with you and fresh coffee on the couch and soak in every last minute together. I’m pushing away the nagging thoughts about leaving and trying to dismiss the fact that this time, I don’t know when I’ll see you next.

I hate it when I cry goodbye. I know it makes you sad, too. Adulting can be hard.

Thanksgiving seems like a long time away. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of adulting yet- the kind where you hug and say it’s been great to see you and safe travels and walk away without knowing how many more days to count down until I wrap my arms around you again.

I’m not sure I’m ready for that- but I’m sure that you are.

That should take the sting out of leaving just a little- at least for me.

You’re adulting now. You’re going to be just fine.

I’ll have to keep my “how-many-days-til-I-see-Lily” countdown secret this time.

I think I need to hang onto my baby girl just a little bit longer.

Jennifer Wolfe

Jennifer Wolfe, a writer-teacher-mom, is dedicated to finding the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of life by thinking deeply, loving fiercely, and teaching audaciously. Jennifer is a Google Certified Educator, Hyperdoc fanatic, and a voracious reader. Read her stories on her blog, mamawolfe, and grab free copies of her teaching and parenting resources.

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Happiness Hacks: June 2017

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Jennifer Wolfe

I LOVE podcasts. They fit my Type-A personality, my need to always feel like I’m satisfying the hungry curiosity that runs at warp speed through my brain. I love all sorts of podcasts, from political to storytelling to teaching tips to personal growth.

This month I’ve been plowing through the podcast “Happier With Gretchen Rubin”.

You should check it out. She publishes two types of podcasts: one that is super short ‘happiness’ tips often in the form of a quote or anecdote to give you something to think about. She calls these “A Little Happier” – you might like this one called “We Don’t Always Know When Children Are Wasting Their Time”.

The second type of podcast she publishes is her longer series (she’s up to podcast #121, so you have some to look forward to!) – for example, I just listened to this one about how to get more reading done, and an interview with Sam Walker: http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2017/06/podcast-121-reading-sam-walker/

Gretchen’s name might sound familiar to you because several years ago she wrote the best-selling books The Happiness Project and Happier At Home. You can read my essay inspired by Happier At Home here.

Cover of "The Happiness Project: Or, Why ...

Cover via Amazon

Gretchen’s writing and podcasts inspired me to create what I hope are monthly lists of ‘happiness hacks’ – small, simple acts or moments in life that bring me happiness and maybe they’ll rub off on you, too.

Happiness Hacks June 2017:

Biking to work

Ummmm…yeah. My students/family thought I was hilarious. I thought I was a blue and gold Viking!

Last year a teacher/friend/neighbor and I started a biking to work challenge. We decided that we would commit to trying to bike to work every day. Now, biking to work is something I did regularly anyways, but I was noticing I was finding more and more excuses to take the car. I’d arrive home tired/hot/stressed, and completely unmotivated to exercise. Even my little doggie couldn’t always get me going after a long day.

The biking to work challenge worked, mainly because I love a challenge and when I start something I don’t like to give up. I started to notice how relaxed I felt when I got to work and got home after a 15-minute bike ride. I found I was listening to more podcasts, and taking home less work. Once I started I couldn’t stop – even when northern California experienced one of the rainiest winters ever! I simply bought a bike poncho and kept on pedaling.

I know not everyone can bike to work, but if you’re looking for more relaxation and exercise, is there a way you could commit to 15 minutes once (or twice) a day?

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Cleaning the fridge and freezer

Stay with me here: I love to organize my refrigerator and freezer. I can’t say that I love it when the juice has spilled and stuck in a gooey mess all the way down the side, or when I discover that package of fancy Brie molding in the cheese drawer. No one loves the smell or rotten kale or moldy sour cream, right?

But I do love knowing what I have and where it is because it makes life so much easier. Cooking and baking are relaxing to me, but not when I don’t have the right ingredients or something has expired. Plus, I love being able to open the doors, have the cold air hit my face and see the neatly arranged frozen bags of fruit, the containers of extra sauce or meatballs, and the easily accessible Trader Joe’s Salted Caramel gelato staring back at me.

For that, I’ll gladly clean the fridge and freezer at least every other month!

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Upcycled children’s books into journals

I recently took a trip to Salt Lake City to have a ‘staycation’ at my daughter’s college apartment. I love just hanging out in SLC, checking out the cool spots to eat and drink (coffee), walking through the beautifully landscaped neighborhoods, and shopping at a few of my favorite places: the Sundance outlet and Uptown Cheapskate.

One of the best parts of Salt Lake City on a Saturday is going to the HUGE downtown Farmer’s Market. I love the yummy food trucks, the produce vendors, and the beautiful homemade craft booths.

I went back for a second year in a row to this awesome food truck!

This year I discovered the breathtaking book journals made by Red Barn Collections. you can follow them on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/redbarncollections/ I got so excited to see how they cleverly upcycled books into journals that I posted this video on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVc4n1jhL8F/?taken-by=mamawolfeto2

I can see how they would make awesome graduation gifts, birthday presents, new baby gifts, recipe books, or just to write in! And I hear they do a “Christmas in August” sale, so be sure to check them out.

I forgot to mention that Red Barn Collection does adorable light switch covers, too! Recognize this guy?

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Finding and using gift cards

My last happiness hack for June 2017 is finding and using gift cards. This will take some upfront time – you’ll need to go through your purses, wallets, drawers, mail – anywhere you have stashed gift cards. Put them all together in an envelope or just slap a rubber band on them, and take them on your next shopping trip or vacation. I’ve done this two years in a row with my Salt Lake City trip, and am amazed at how much fun it is to try to pay for everything with a gift card! Consider it a way of ‘forced saving’ if you want – but I was able to indulge us with new clothes, books, frozen yogurt, burgers and a mani-pedi without forking out any cash!

Taking this happiness hack a step further, consider looking for sales on gift cards – sometimes the grocery store has a special deal or card resale sites like Gift Card Granny. You could but a card every now and again and tuck them away for next summer!

I sure hope these happiness hacks from June 2017 gave you some ideas – and please, let me know if you try them – or better yet, what your favorite happiness hacks are! I’d love to include them in my July Happiness Hacks post!

Jennifer Wolfe

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A New Approach To Teaching Writing With Hyperdocs

Posted on June 27, 2017 by Jennifer Wolfe

Teachers, you’ve got to try a new approach to teaching writing with hyperdocs.

What are hyperdocs? According to their creators, Lisa Highfill, Kelly Hilton and Sarah Landis, hyperdocs are “a transformative, interactive, personalized engaging too to help facilitate student creativity and collaboration” (The Hyperdoc Handbook).

And I can testify that hyperdocs have done exactly that to the way I teach writing: they’ve transformed and personalized my teaching to enhance student creativity and create a collaborative classroom where kids are excited about learning and producing high-quality work.

And they’re super fun, too!

A New Approach To Teaching Writing With Hyperdocs

Hyperdocs start with a teacher creating a template using Google docs or slides to package their content in a visually appealing and organized way to offer students choice and voice with their learning. By using Google Suite, students collaborate, create, reflect and connect and apply their learning at their own pace and meet their own needs. I’ve found that using hyperdocs in my middle school classroom has not only allowed me to coach them more easily and discover areas that need reteaching or mini lessons prior to submitting a finished product, but they allow students to better control their learning and self-differentiate.

Here’s an example of a hyperdoc I use to teach narrative writing:

Click on the link to download your own copy! Narrative writing draft, revise, edit, reflect and publish hyperdocs

I created this hyperdoc, but it was adapted from @sarahlandis and © HyperDocs. That’s one of the best parts of “hyperdoc-ing” – they’ve created a community of teachers sharing curriculum, enabling virtual collaboration and creating content that keeps getting better and richer and more creative from lesson to lesson.

As you can see from my narrative writing hyperdoc, I’m able to package my narrative writing unit from draft to publish using one Google doc. Before hyperdocs, a typical writing unit would revolve around me planning lots of direct instruction lessons for the whole class, and then offer time to draft during class or at home. I would spend most of the class period instructing from the front with the occasional writing conference at my desk. I felt disengaged from the work in progress. All students would start and end at the same place, regardless of their ability, interest or work ethic.

Students working on narrative writing with hyperdocs.

When I migrated to teaching writing with hyperdocs, I found a way to capture all the cool tools and techniques I’d been wanting to try. I quickly realized that by allowing my students to see the whole project at once, I could not only allow students to move at their own pace, but I could monitor work and offer feedback much more easily. To my great surprise, however, was the instant collaboration that erupted in my classroom. Students were suddenly working on video mini-lessons together. They were reflecting on techniques and explaining editing tools to each other. I was rotating around the room, looking over shoulders and tracking progress. I moved to teaching 5-10 minute whole group mini-lessons explaining tech tools or working on time management every other day, spending the rest of the class period answering questions and partnering up kids to help each other. Absent students didn’t miss out – they had everything they needed to work from home or pick right back up when they returned. My classroom hums with activity and focus and my students are writing – a lot.

Teaching writing with hyperdocs offers students choice and voice.

My favorite part of teaching writing with hyperdocs is how they facilitate the publish and reflect portions of the process. I love to embed a link to a Google form for students to respond to direct questions about their writing process, as well as to ask for feedback and new ideas for improving the next unit. I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the ideas that are generated, and the student thinking that happens when asked to share the tools they used, or what they want to improve for the next writing project. Hyperdocs have also allowed me to offer a myriad of choices for student publishing. I can differentiate the rigor of a variety of platforms, allowing students to choose not only which final project will best represent their story, but also how much time they want to devote to learning a new publishing tool or falling back on something more familiar. And finally, after publishing, hyperdocs offer a way to promote an extension of the lessons for kids who need an extra challenge or want multiple modes of expressing or enhancing their learning.

If you’d like more copies of hyperdocs, I’m happy to share – just send me an email with the subject you’re looking for, and if I have something, I’ll share the Google Doc/Slides. I also have a Pinterest board for hyperdoc tools.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about a new approach to teaching writing with hyperdocs – once you try them, I know you’ll be hooked! If you’d like an overview, check out Laura Moore’s Narrative Writing hyperdoc outlining when/how to teach narrative at different grade levels, and how to scaffold during the year.

I originally wrote this post for The Educator’s Room. You should check it out – it’s full of resources for teacher AND parents!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Nicaragua Non-Profit: A Chance To Make A Difference

Posted on June 24, 2017 by Jennifer Wolfe

Nicaragua Non-Profit:

A Chance To Make A Difference

In July, my son and I will be returning to Nicaragua to work with the non-profit group, Seeds of Learning, to help restore the country’s educational system. Since 2010 my family has been traveling to Nicaragua to work, teach, and share cultures through the SOL program – you can read more about them here on their website: http://www.seedsoflearning.org/. These photos are from our 2013 trip.

All building is done with the most primitive of methods for the Nicaragua non-profit. School site in Casas Viejas, where we mixed concrete by hand, tied our own rebar and dug the foundation with shovels.

You can read about my two previous trips in these posts:

The Pull of Nicaragua

Travel with mamawolfe: The Simple Life in Nicaragu a

Travel with mamawolfe: Cementing Friendships in Nicaragu a

Nicaragua Packing Party

Nicaragua: The Countdown Begins

Injustice All Around Us: Seeds of Learning in Nicaragua

No Shoes In Nicaragua

Seeds of Learning also runs satellite learning centers for after school enrichment. My daughter loved spending time doing crafts with the students.

The entire community helps build their school – even the youngest and oldest find ways to help out.

As you can see from my posts, our work in Nicaragua is not only life-changing for myself and my children, but for the Nicaraguans trying to rebuild their country.

Kids and adults work together, strengthening the cultural connections.

This project was building an addition onto an already existing school.

This year, a teaching colleague and I will be bringing along a dozen teenagers and a few adults for two weeks to help build a new school near Ciudad Dario. As Seeds of Learning is a non-profit, it relies exclusively on donations to do their good work. Even though many of you have not been able to travel with us, your generosity in the past has enabled us to build two schools, work in learning centers, and create positive global connections. For this trip, I am asking you to consider supporting our project with monetary or supply donations – all are tax deductible.

Monetary donations can be made on the Seeds of Learning website: https://www.seedsoflearning.org/ways-to-give/donate-now/. Please indicate “Wolfe” in the notes. My Facebook page also has a link for PayPal donations: https://www.facebook.com/mamawolfe/.

Thank you for considering helping us with this project. We believe that together, we can do great things to strengthen our global community. You won’t regret supporting Seeds of Learning, a Nicaragua non-profit – it’s people like them who make a real difference in our world.

Love,

Jennifer

ps- if you’re interested in actually traveling to Nicaragua to get hands-on, please contact me. I’d love to take a group again next year!

Jennifer Wolfe

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Let Me Be Poetry Celebrating Summer Solstice waterfall

Let Me Be: Poetry For Celebrating Summer Solstice

Posted on June 21, 2017 by Jennifer Wolfe

Poetry For Celebrating Summer Solstice

Oh, the water lilies. See how they seem
to open wider out of their own opening?

Let me unfold like that—without thinking,
without assuming I’m already open enough.

Do not let me close up, all stiff and stoic,
like a walnut that will not crack.

Don’t let me become the one who groans
when someone else starts to rhapsodize
about the fragrant wisteria in spring.

Why is being hardened a respectable, desirable thing?

Let me be soft.

Let me always sigh as I bite
into ripe watermelon, juice spilling in runnels
of pink down my chin, down my neck.

Let someone else stand beside the waterfall
and explain how its negative ions work,
and let me be the one getting drenched
and falling in love with the sheen on the rocks.

Waterfall near Cascade Locks, OR

Let me not leave my signature like the woodpecker,
but let me chant endlessly on summer nights
in the way that the whippoorwill does.

And why not?

Why not praise the slender-bodied weasels
who turn white then honest brown?

Both colors are equally lovely.

Why not enthuse
over the bulky walrus that has adapted to stay warm?

Oh, let me be warm and give that warmth back to the world.

Let Me Be Poetry Celebrating Summer Solstice sunrise

Celebrating Summer Solstice Sunrise over the Salt Flats, Wendover, Utah

It’s so easy to turn cold, to poke fun, to accuse, to be cool.

Let me be a fool.

Let my thoughts of how the world should be
jump away like a mob of wallabies.

Let me not find pleasure
in making things small or putting others down
or rolling my eyes or criticizing.

Let me be silly.

And gushing with praise for whatever
is the nearest thing I see—
a twig in the rain, a rock on the trail,
a red leaf that has already let go.

~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

I fell in love with this poem after reading it on A First Sip. In times like these, when the world seems to be turning upside down, I thought it right to share these words – reminding us to slow down, pay attention and find pleasure in the smaller moments of life.

How would you finish the phrase, “let me be?” Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and enjoy the summer solstice.

Words are the spark that ignites my soul.

I am a collector of language in all forms and believe the extraordinary beauty of the written word must be shared.

These monthly posts, inspired by another’s words, are my gifts of beauty and spirit, shared with love.

Jennifer Wolfe

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You’re adulting now

You really are adulting now.

Related articles

Happiness Hacks June 2017:

Biking to work

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Cleaning the fridge and freezer

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Upcycled children’s books into journals

Happiness Hacks June 2017

Finding and using gift cards

Related articles

A New Approach To Teaching Writing With Hyperdocs

I originally wrote this post for The Educator’s Room. You should check it out – it’s full of resources for teacher AND parents!

Related articles

Nicaragua Non-Profit:

A Chance To Make A Difference

Poetry For Celebrating Summer Solstice

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